2nd most-quoted character in Home Alone (1990): in 13 of its 53 quotes
Most scenes with: Kevin McCallister (5), Jeff McCallister (3), Peter (3)
Kate McCallister This is Christmas, the season of perpetual hope. And I don't care if I have to get out on your runway and hitchhike. If it costs me everything I own, if I have to sell my soul to the devil himself, I am going to get home to my son.
Kate No, he's just home alone.
Everybody in this family hates me!
Kate McCallister Then maybe you should ask Santa for a new family.
I don't want another family. I don't want any family. Families suck!
Kate McCallister Just stay up there. I don't want to see you again for the rest of the night.
I don't want to see you again for the rest of my whole life. I don't want to see anybody else either.
Kate McCallister I hope you don't mean that. You'd feel pretty sad if you woke up tomorrow morning and you didn't have a family.
No, I wouldn't.
Kate McCallister Then say it again. Maybe it will happen.
I hope that I never see any of you jerks again!
Kate McCallister Did I turn off the coffee?
No, I did.
Kate McCallister Did you lock up?
Yeah.
Kate McCallister Did we set the timers on the lights?
Yeah.
Kate McCallister Did you close the garage?
That's it. I forgot to close the garage. That's it.
Kate McCallister No, that's not it.
Well, what else could we be forgetting?
Kate McCallister KEVIN!!
Kate McCallister Kevin, get upstairs right now.
Why?
Kevin, you're such a disease.
Shut up.
Kevin, upstairs.
Kate McCallister Say good night, Kevin.
"Good night, Kevin."
Kate McCallister PETER!
We slept in!
Mom, Uncle Frank won't let me watch the movie, but the big kids can. Why can't I?
Kate Kevin, I'm on the phone. [on the phone] When do you come back? Not till then?
It's not even rated R. He's just being a jerk.
Kate Kevin, if Uncle Frank says no, then, it must be really bad. [on the phone] No, no one is bringing the dog, we're putting it in the kennel for the... Hey, get off! Kevin, out of the room.
Hang up the phone and make me, why don't ya?
Kate This kid.
Hey, did you pick up a voltage adapter thing?
Kate No, I didn't have time to do that.
Then, how do I shave in France?
Kate Grow a goatee.
Dad, nobody'll let me do anything.
I've got something, why don't you pick up those Micro-Machines that are in there. Aunt Leslie stepped on one and almost broke her neck.
Kate He was in the garage again playing with the glue gun.
Didn't we talk about that?
Did I burn down the joint? I don't think so. I made ornaments out of fishhooks.
My new fishhooks?
I can't make ornaments out of the old ones with dry worm guts stuck on them.
Kate Peter?
Come on, Kevin. Out here.
Kate What is the matter with you?!
He started it! He ate my pizza on purpose! He knows I'd hate sausage, and olives, and onions, and...
Look what you did, you little jerk!
Kate Kevin, get upstairs right now.
Why?
Kevin, you're such a disease.
Shut up!
Kevin, upstairs!
Kate Say good night, Kevin.
Kate Oh, I am sorry. This house is just crazy. We've got all these extra kids running around. My brother-in-law drove in from Ohio today. It's just nuts.
How come you didn't bring any more cheese pizzas?
Nice tip. Thanks a lot.
Kate Thanks.
Having a reunion or something?
Kate My husband's brother transferred to Paris last year. His kids are still there. He missed the family, so he invited us to Paris so we can be together.
You're taking a trip to Paris?
Kate Yes, we hope to leave tomorrow morning.
Excellent, excellent.
Kate If you'll excuse me, this one's a little out of sorts. I'll be right back.
Don't worry about me. I spoke to your husband already. And don't worry about your home. It's in good hands.
Kate There are 15 people in this house. You're the only one who has to make trouble.
I'm the only one getting dumped on.
Kate You're the only one actin' up. Now, get upstairs.
I am upstairs, dummy. Third floor?
Kate Go there.
It's scary up there.
Kate Don't be silly. Fuller will be up in a little while.
I don't wanna sleep with Fuller. You know about him. He wets the bed. He'll pee all over me. I know it!
Kate Fine. We'll put him someplace else.
I'm sorry.
Kate It's a tad late. So, get upstairs.
Everyone in this family hates me.
Kate Then, maybe you should ask Santa for a new family.
I don't want a new family! I don't want any family! Families suck!
Kate Just stay up there. I don't wanna see you again for the rest of the night.
I don't wanna see you again for the rest of my whole life. And I don't wanna see anybody else, either.
Kate I hope you don't mean that. You'd feel pretty sad if you woke up tomorrow morning and you didn't have a family.
No, I wouldn't.
Kate Then, say it again. Maybe it'll happen.
I hope that I never see any of you jerks again! [runs upstairs in a huff, and Kate closes the door]
Kate Suit yourself.
Kate Heather, did you count heads?
11 including me, 5 boys, 6 girls, 4 parents, 2 drivers and a partridge in a pear tree.
I made my family disappear! [has a flashback to what his family told him the night before]
Kevin, you're completely helpless.
You know, Kevin, you're what the French call "les incompetents."
Kevin, I'm going to feed you to my tarantula.
Kevin, you are such a disease!
Kate There are 15 people in this house, and you're the only one who has to make trouble.
Look what you did, you little jerk!
What's the matter? Honey?
Kate I have a terrible feeling.
About what?
Kate That we didn't do something.
Oh, no, you feel that way because we left in such a hurry. We took care of everything. Believe me, we did.
Kate Did I turn off the coffee?
No, I did.
Kate Did you lock up?
Yeah.
Kate Did you close the garage?
That's it. I forgot to close the garage. That's it.
Kate No, that's not it.
What else could we be forgetting?
Kate KEVIN!! [echoes]
Everything's full.
Kate Everything's full?
I am very sorry, but it is Christmas Eve.
Kate What about another airline?
Nothing available. May I help you get a hotel room in the city? Tomorrow afternoon we can get you a flight to Chicago.
Kate I can't wait that long.
I am terribly sorry, ma'am, but we're doing absolutely everything we can.
Kate Go ahead. I'm in your way. I'm sorry. You've got places to go, people to see. You got a ticket there. That's good. [pushes woman out of the way] Excuse me. Look, I have been awake for almost 60 hours. I'm tired and I'm dirty. I have been from Chicago to Paris to Dallas to... Where the hell am I?
Scranton.
Kate I'm trying to get home to my 8-year-old son! Now you're telling me it is hopeless?
I'm sorry.
Kate No, no, no, no, no! No way! This is Christmas! The season of perpetual hope! I don't care if I have to get on your runway and hitchhike. If it costs me everything I own, if I have to sell my soul to the Devil himself, I am going to get home to my son.
Ma'am, if there was anything at all I could do for you...
Kate Do it. Do anything.
I can get you a hotel room.
Kate What?
Can you excuse us for a sec? Can I see you for a second, please? Excuse us. [pulls Kate aside] You got a bit of a dilemma. We got a crisis ourselves. Allow me to introduce myself. Gus Polinski. Polka King of the Midwest? The Kenosha Kickers? No? That's okay. I thought you might have recognized I had a few hits a few years ago. That's why I just... "Polka, Polka, Polka"? [singing] "Twin Lakes Polka"? "Yamahoozie Polka" a.k.a. "Kiss Me Polka"? "Polka Twist"?
Kate These are songs?
Yeah, we... Some fairly big hits for us. You know, in the early 70s. Yeah, we sold about 623 copies of that.
Kate In Chicago?
No, Sheboygan. Very big in Sheboygan.
Kate Did you say you could help me?
Anyway, I'm rambling on here. Our flight was canceled, so we gotta drive. See the guy in the yellow jacket over there by the Budget sign? He's gonna rent us a nice big van, and we're gonna drive to Milwaukee. I heard you had some problems getting to Chicago to see your kid or something?
Kate Uh, my son. We left, and he's there.
Aw, geez. If you have to get to Chicago, we'll gladly drive you. It's on the way to Milwaukee.
Kate You'd give me a ride?
Sure, we will. Why not? You've gotta get home to see your kid.
Kate A ride to Chicago?
Sure. Why not? It's Christmastime.
Kate Thank you. Oh, thank you.
If you don't mind going with some polka bums.
Kate No, I'd love to.
Kate I'm a bad parent. I'm a bad parent.
No, you're not. You're just beating yourself up there. This happens. These things happen, you know. You wanna talk about bad parents? Look at us. We're on the road 48, 49 weeks out of the year. We hardly see our families. Joe over there, gosh, you know, he forgets his kids' names half the time. Ziggy over there, he's never even met his kid. Eddie... Let's just hope none of them write a book about him.
Kate Tell me, have you gone on vacation and left your child home?
No. But I did leave one at a funeral parlor once. Yeah, it was terrible too. I was all distraught and everything. The wife and I, we left the little tyke there in the funeral parlor. All day. You know, when we went back at night, when we came to our senses, there he was. Apparently, he was there all day with a corpse. Now, he was okay. You know, after six, seven weeks. He came around and started talking again. They get over it. Kids are resilient like that.
Kate Maybe we shouldn't talk about this.
You brought it up. I was just trying to cheer you up.
Kate I'm sorry I did.
