Marv He's only a kid, Harry. We can take him.
Played by Daniel Stern 
Home Alone (1990) · 53 quotes
Home Alone (1990) · 53 quotes
Tied for 3rd most-quoted character in Home Alone (1990): in 11 of its 53 quotes
Most scenes with: Harry (9), Kevin McCallister (3)
Scenes with Marv
11 scenes Marv Marv Kids are scared of the dark.
You're afraid of the dark too, Marv.
Marv No I'm not!
Yes, you are.
Marv Not! Not! Not!
What's so funny? What are you laughing at? You did it again, didn't you? You left the water running, didn't you? What's wrong with you? Why did you that? I told you not to do it.
Marv Harry, it's our calling card.
Calling card.
Marv All the great ones leave their mark. We're the Wet Bandits.
Marv Hey, watch out!
AAAAHHHHH!
Sorry.
Marv Santy don't visit funeral homes, little buddy.
Okay, okay. Merry Christmas.
Marv [Harry and Marv are just about to break-into the McCallister's house]
How do you want to go in?
We'll go through the back door. Maybe he'll let us in. You never know.
Marv Yeah. He's a kid. Kid's are stupid. [In trailer but not in film] I know I was.
You still are, Marv.
[While in the van with Marv]
I don't get it. I mean right now it looks like there's nobody home. Last night, the place was jumping. Something ain't right. [To Marv] Go check it out.
Marv [Long pause. Marv just nods. Harry looks at Marv in a stunned way while Marv looks over at Harry]
Now?
Remember the kid we saw the other day? He lives here.
Marv Well, if the kid's there, his parents gotta be.
He's home alone.
Merry Christmas, little fella. We know that you're in there, and that you're all alone.
Marv Yeah, come on, kid, open up. It's Santy Claus... and his elf!
We're not gonna hurt you.
Marv Oh no, no, we got some nice presents for you.
Be a good little fella now, and open the door. [Kevin shoots Harry in the groin; high-pitched] AHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOO... [Fall to his knees, cursing]
Marv What? What? What?! What happened?!
Get the little...!
Marv [Kevin shoots Marv at the head causing him to fall the dog door]
AH! AHHH!
Yes! Yes!
Marv The little jerk is armed!
That's it! That's it! I'm going round the front, you go to the basement!
Marv Why the hell did you take your shoes off?
Harry Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?
Where did he go?
Marv Maybe he committed suicide.
Over here you horse-ass. Come and get me before I call the cops.
Marv Let's get him!
No, wait! That's just what he wants us to do. To back down through his fun house.
Marv But he's gonna call the cops!
He's not gonna call the cops from a treehouse!
Marv There! What are we gonna do with him, Harry?
We'll do exactly what he did to us: we're gonna burn his head with a blowtorch.
Marv And smash his face with an iron!
I like to slap him right in the face with a paint can.
Marv And shove a nail through his foot!
First off, I'm gonna bite off his every little fingers one at a time.
[Just then, Marley knocks Harry and Marv with his shovel]
