Brad
It's so great to be able to talk to a girl and not have to ask "What's your major?". I hate that... . So, when you go to college, what subjects do you think you'll study?
Veronica Sawyer
Winona Ryder · 41 quotes
J.D.
Christian Slater · 27 quotes
Heather Chandler
14 quotes
Heather Duke
9 quotes
Heather McNamara
5 quotes
Most scenes together: Veronica Sawyer & J.D. (8), Veronica Sawyer & Heather McNamara (5), Veronica Sawyer & Heather Chandler (4)
Heathers quotes
Page 1 of 6
Counselor
Whether or not a teenager decides to kill themselves is the biggest decision of their life.
Father Ripper We must pray the other teenagers of Sherwood, Ohio, know the name of that righteous dude who can solve their problems: it's Jesus Christ, and he's in the Book.
Geek
[while being bullied by Ram]
Ah, oh, uh! I like to suck big dicks. Or, uh... Mmmm! Mmmm! I can't get enough of 'em! Are you satisfied?
Pete
[praying next to Heather Chandler's coffin]
Dear Lord, please make sure this never happens to me because I don't think I could handle suicide. Fast, early acceptance into an Ivy League school and please let it be Harvard. Amen.
Principal Now I've seen a lot of bullshit... angel dust, switchblades, sexually perverse photography involving tennis rackets...
Ram [praying at Heather Chandler's funeral]
Jesus, God in heaven, why'd you have to kill such hot snatch? It's a joke, man. Geez, people are so serious. Holy Mary pray for our sinners, so we don't get caught. Geez, another joke man.
When teenagers complain that they want to be treated like human beings, it's usually because they are being treated like human beings.
Is this turnout weak or what? I had at least 70 more people at my funeral.
Heather?
God, Veronica. My afterlife is so boring. If I have to sing Kumbaya one more time...
You stupid ****.
You goddamn bitch.
I brought you to a Remington party and what's my thanks? It's on a hallway carpet. I got paid in puke.
Lick it up, baby. Lick it up.
Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast? First you ask if you can be red, knowing that I'm always red.
It's your turn, Heather.
Hi, everybody. Door was open. Veronica, did you hear? We were doing Chinese at the food fair, when it comes over the radio that Martha Dumptruck tried to buy the farm. She belly-flopped in front of a car wearing a suicide note.
Is she dead?
No... that's the punchline. She's alive, and in stable condition. Just another case of a geek trying to imitate the popular people and failing miserably.
[Veronica slaps Heather] ...
I said I was sorry!
You were out of control! I mean Heather and Kurt were a shock but Martha Dumptruck? Get crucial! She was dialing suicide hotlines in her diapers!
Ugh, shut up!
Veronica, you look like hell.
Yeah? I just got back.
God, aren't they fed yet? Do they even have Thanksgiving in Africa?
Oh, sure. Pilgrims, Indians... Tator Tots. It's a real party continent.
Suicide is a private thing.
You're throwing your life away to become a statistic on U. S. **** A. Today; that's about the least private thing I can think of.