Ray Stantz
Ray's Occult, and we're closed.
Phoebe
Wait! I only get one phone call. I'm... in prison.
Ray
The slammer, huh? Heh, been there myself. I'm no lawyer, but I'm listening.
Phoebe
Are you Ray Stanz, the Ghostbuster?
Ray
And now, I'm hanging up.
Phoebe
Hang on, please! I'm calling about Egon Spengler.
Ray
[pauses]
Egon Spengler can rot in Hell.
Phoebe
He died last week.
Ray
Oh, man... No kidding.
Phoebe
Weren't you two friends?
Ray
That was a long time ago.
Phoebe
What happened to you guys?
Ray
Well, when we started, busting ghosts was a gas. The economy was good. Reagan years. People believed in us, then things got slow. Hauntings got thin. Venkman thought we did our job too well. Oh, we could barely keep up our mortgage. Some actor bought up most of Tribeca, and we lost the firehouse. It's a Starbucks now.
Phoebe
So, then you all just walked away?
Ray
Peter went back to academia. He's in SUNY Cortland now, he's a Professor Emeritus, he teaches advertising and promotion. Winston went into finance, he worked hard, coined a fortune. And I'm... here.
Phoebe
Well... what about Egon?
Ray
Well, he wasn't helping. We went from ten calls a week, to one, if we were lucky. Then Egon started to tell people their little ghost problems didn't matter because the world was coming to an end. He got spooky, freaked me out! One morning, I go to work, and Ecto-1, our old Cadillac, is gone. His neutronophone and collider pack, all the traps! Sixteen ounces of fuel isotope! All gone! He cleaned us out! Now we were the dead ones.
Phoebe
Don't you think he might have had a reason?
Ray
He phoned me, about ten years later. Some small town in Oklahoma. Kept rambling on about the rising storm. A huge psychic tornado that was going to consume humanity in darkness forever. And, kid, I wanted to believe him-
Phoebe
You don't understand, there was this mountain, and it had these ancient carvings, and-
Ray
Kid, kid, kid, there are a lot of mountains out there with ancient carvings. Take a little advice: don't go chasing ghosts.
Phoebe
Egon Spengler was my grandfather.
SD Sheriff Domingo
[hangs up the phone]
Time's up.
Ray
Hello?
M Man
[After Lucky is possessed by the Gatekeeper, Gozer goes to shock Callie and Phoebe] [offscreen]
Hey, flat-top!
Peter Venkman
[Gozer looks over her shoulder. She, Callie and Phoebe find the original Ghostbusters]
Have you missed us?
Ray
[From inside Ecto-1, three tiny Stay Puft Marshmallow Men gasp and cheer]
Gozer the Gozerian! In the name of the county of Summerville, state of Oklahoma, the US Fish and Wildlife Service, all the members of Ducks Unlimited, the Association for the Advancement of Retired Persons. I command you under the National Invasive Species Act to depart this world immediately.
Peter
Bravo.
Winston Zeddemore
[Gozer growls]
I think she remembers us.
G Gozer
[Gozer gazes at them]
Are you... a god?
Winston
[Ray pauses]
Ray?
Peter
Oh, come on, Ray!
Ray
...Yes.
Winston
Yeah, we're all gods.
Peter
Yeah, I mean, we're all pretty dang special out here. On a personal note, I thought that we had busted up for good. I mean, it wasn't working for me. My friends didn't think so, I know yours didn't.
Winston
[The Gatekeeper goes to attack, but Gozer signals for it to stop]
Okay, playtime's over. Let's toast this muffin.
Peter
[The Ghostbusters unholster their proton wands]
Light 'em up! [laughs as they energize their proton packs]
Winston
Man, I love that sound!
Peter
On the count of three. Go on two. One, two!
Ray
[The Ghostbusters blast their proton streams around Gozer's body. Callie and Phoebe watch in amazement]
Yeah, nothing stings like a billion electron-volts!
Peter
[Gozer has just been defeated, the ghost of Egon stands besides his former colleagues]
I thought you might show up.
Ray
[They gaze at their late friend]
I'm sorry I didn't believe you.
Winston
[Egon smiles acceptably, then nods as if to say, "That's OK."]
You should have called. I miss you, my friend.
Ray
Are you alright, son? You just single-handedly defeated a manifestation of Gozer.
P Podcast
You gotta be on my podcast!
Ray
Sure. What's it called?
P Podcast
Mystical Tales of the Unknown Universe.
Ray
"M-T-Double U"? That's you?
P Podcast
Wait... you're my subscriber!?
Ray
Really found its voice in the 46th episode.