C Callie
You... brought them home.
G Gary
It's a service I provide. I'm also an escort.... that came out wrong.
G Gary
Look, the truth is, is that I've always kind of wondered what lurked inside this... haunt-box.
C Callie
Right. Well, the only think lurking inside here is my slowly-dying soul.
G Gary
Is that what that smell is?
C Callie
Well, it's not dinner, so... [chuckles] Uh, would you...?
C Callie
I don't have any food.
Hi, there. Pete Venkman, from the home office. Thanks for pitching in.
I like your style. Who's that one?
C Callie
Callie. [pauses] Callie Spengler.
Spengler? Heh, weird name. Try to make the best of that. Alright, we're gonna have cocoa inside. Some of us will have rum with it.
Uh... what do you call a fish with no 'i's? A fsh! Uh... A whale... There's two whales in a bar, and one of them goes [imitates whale call], and then, the other one goes: 'go home. You're drunk.' Uh... Uh... so a grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender's like 'we have a drink named after you!' And the grasshopper goes 'you have a drink named Steve?!'
G Gozer
[unamused]
Have you come to offer yourself in sacrifice?
G Gozer
Are you prepared to die?
Ray's Occult, and we're closed.
Wait! I only get one phone call. I'm... in prison.
The slammer, huh? Heh, been there myself. I'm no lawyer, but I'm listening.
Are you Ray Stanz, the Ghostbuster?
Hang on, please! I'm calling about Egon Spengler.
[pauses]
Egon Spengler can rot in Hell.
That was a long time ago.
What happened to you guys?
Well, when we started, busting ghosts was a gas. The economy was good. Reagan years. People believed in us, then things got slow. Hauntings got thin. Venkman thought we did our job too well. Oh, we could barely keep up our mortgage. Some actor bought up most of Tribeca, and we lost the firehouse. It's a Starbucks now.
So, then you all just walked away?
Peter went back to academia. He's in SUNY Cortland now, he's a Professor Emeritus, he teaches advertising and promotion. Winston went into finance, he worked hard, coined a fortune. And I'm... here.
Well, he wasn't helping. We went from ten calls a week, to one, if we were lucky. Then Egon started to tell people their little ghost problems didn't matter because the world was coming to an end. He got spooky, freaked me out! One morning, I go to work, and Ecto-1, our old Cadillac, is gone. His neutronophone and collider pack, all the traps! Sixteen ounces of fuel isotope! All gone! He cleaned us out! Now we were the dead ones.
Don't you think he might have had a reason?
He phoned me, about ten years later. Some small town in Oklahoma. Kept rambling on about the rising storm. A huge psychic tornado that was going to consume humanity in darkness forever. And, kid, I wanted to believe him-
You don't understand, there was this mountain, and it had these ancient carvings, and-
Kid, kid, kid, there are a lot of mountains out there with ancient carvings. Take a little advice: don't go chasing ghosts.
Egon Spengler was my grandfather.
SD Sheriff Domingo
[hangs up the phone]
Time's up.
Are you alright, son? You just single-handedly defeated a manifestation of Gozer.
P Podcast
You gotta be on my podcast!
P Podcast
Mystical Tales of the Unknown Universe.
"M-T-Double U"? That's you?
P Podcast
Wait... you're my subscriber!?
Really found its voice in the 46th episode.
Egon was the brains. Ray was the heart. Peter just kept it cool.
JM Janine Melnitz
Who were you?
J Janine
[Janine and Winston laugh]
You've done very well for yourself. A lot of shelf space.
See, that's the thing. I don't do it for me. I do it for my kids, and I want to be an example of what's possible.
J Janine
You still covering the rent at Ray's book shop?
Ray's gonna turn a profit one of these days.
J Janine
[chuckles]
I remember the day you came in.
I came in looking for a steady paycheck. But busting ghosts with the guys taught me not to be afraid. That I had the tools, and I had the talent. I started this business with one employee, and I've grown it into a thriving global enterprise. I may be a businessman, but I will always be a Ghostbuster.
M Man
[After Lucky is possessed by the Gatekeeper, Gozer goes to shock Callie and Phoebe] [offscreen]
Hey, flat-top!
[Gozer looks over her shoulder. She, Callie and Phoebe find the original Ghostbusters]
Have you missed us?
[From inside Ecto-1, three tiny Stay Puft Marshmallow Men gasp and cheer]
Gozer the Gozerian! In the name of the county of Summerville, state of Oklahoma, the US Fish and Wildlife Service, all the members of Ducks Unlimited, the Association for the Advancement of Retired Persons. I command you under the National Invasive Species Act to depart this world immediately.
[Gozer growls]
I think she remembers us.
G Gozer
[Gozer gazes at them]
Are you... a god?
Yeah, I mean, we're all pretty dang special out here. On a personal note, I thought that we had busted up for good. I mean, it wasn't working for me. My friends didn't think so, I know yours didn't.
[The Gatekeeper goes to attack, but Gozer signals for it to stop]
Okay, playtime's over. Let's toast this muffin.
[The Ghostbusters unholster their proton wands]
Light 'em up! [laughs as they energize their proton packs]
On the count of three. Go on two. One, two!
[The Ghostbusters blast their proton streams around Gozer's body. Callie and Phoebe watch in amazement]
Yeah, nothing stings like a billion electron-volts!
D Dana
[Dana Barrett and Peter are playing with Peter's ESP cards]
Do you know what this is?
Lines. Two… No, three… wavy lines.
D Dana
[reveals the card]
That's amazing.
You're amazing, with your ability to... flood my psychic powers.
D Dana
[holds up another card]
I can't believe you used to shock your students.
Between us, I only zapped the guys. [Dana zaps him, causing him to yell in pain]
For science. I know that now. I admit that.
D Dana
Ready? Try this one.
Uh… It's a five-pointed star… yes?
D Dana
[reveals the card]
How are you doing that?
Some believe that true love imbues the subject with the ability… [Dana shocks him again]
D Dana
Did you mark the cards?
D Dana
You did, didn't you?
[nods]
Yeah. [Dana shocks him once more] Aah!
[Gozer has just been defeated, the ghost of Egon stands besides his former colleagues]
I thought you might show up.
[They gaze at their late friend]
I'm sorry I didn't believe you.
[Egon smiles acceptably, then nods as if to say, "That's OK."]
You should have called. I miss you, my friend.
[Phoebe and Gary Grooberson have rigged a ghost trap to a school bus]
Are you sure this is safe?
G Gary
Safe? Heh. No. No, history is safe. Geometry: that's safe. Science is all particle accelerators and hydrogen bombs. Science is giving yourself the plague and gambling on the cure.
G Gary
Totally! Yes! It's punk rock! A safety pin through the nipple of academia.
