Oh, Sleeping Beauty, wake up! You can stop dreaming about me, because I'm here now. Just wake up. You've got work to do. You're not just my owner, you're my primary care-giver!
Jon (still asleep)
Not now, Garfield.
Played by Breckin Meyer 
Garfield (2004) · 33 quotes
Garfield (2004) · 33 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Garfield (2004): in 12 of its 33 quotes
Most scenes with: Garfield (10), Liz (3)
Scenes with Jon
12 scenes Jon [feel relaxed]
Aah. So much time and so little I need to do. [Just a chubby little mouse appears when Jon spots it]
Jon Mouse! [Garfield spots also]
No thanks, I'm full.
[feel relaxed at home]
Oh, do I feel good this morning. I slept like a fat CAT. Hey, tall dark and human, what's for breakfast?
Jon [looking for Odie, concerned]
Odie! Where are you boy?
Relax, I think he was gonna camp out.
Jon Odie?
Well, he probably had a sleepover at Luca's, I think.
Jon Odie! Odie?
Well, maybe he's fetching the paper for the neighbors. Where is that silly dog?
Jon (Jon gives Garfield some mashed up cat-food and sets down his own microwavable hash-browns next to Garfield's cat food bowl)
It's liver-flavored.
(sarcastically)
Mmm, delicious...yuck! (when Jon comes back with a fork he does not notice that Garfield has taken his hash-browns and has put his own bowl of cat-food where Jon left his own breakfast; Jon accidentally takes a bite of the cat food)
Jon AGH!! Oh, LIVER...!! (he runs to the sink and vomits)
Jon Garfield! Did you eat all four boxes of lasagna?
It's not my fault. They started it.
Jon What am I gonna do with you?
Love me. Feed me. Never leave me.
Jon Come on. Let's go for a ride to someplace you love that always leaves you feeling pampered and refreshed.
Huh? Oh, I know... Chuck E. Cheese. Thank you. No? Wendy's? Taco Kitty? No? Well, I'm stumped. Maybe Olive Garden for you? The only time I ever leave my cul-de-sac is when Jon takes me to the vet, which he's been doing a lot recently, and it appears to have nothing to do with me. Jon must want to go for his own reason.
Hey, moondust, if I were you, I'd grab a nice piece of carpet. Jon doesn't let me sleep up top. Ever.
Jon [sighs]
Odie, you wanna sleep in the bed? Okay.
Wha...?
Jon Hey, buddy. Good boy. Who's a good boy, huh? You want to sleep on the bed tonight? [in high voice as if pretending to make Odie talk] Yes, I do. Yes, I do.
I think I'm going to blow Cat-Chow Chunks.
Jon Good night, Odie. Good night, Garfield.
Great. Wish me luck with the nightmares.
Well, there's nothing wrong with Garfield. He's just a happy, fat, lazy cat.
No need for a second opinion.
Jon Well, I worry about him.
I know you do. You know, you care about him more than any owner I've ever known.
"Him" has a name. Is this an H.M.O.?
Let's get Garfield in for his dip. I wanna talk to you in private.
Jon Oh, she's so beautiful.
Mr. Pathetic, you've had a crush on her since high school. Would you please just ask her out so she can reject you, and we can get on with my life?
Jon I have to ask her out. Wish me luck.
Okay, go get 'em, big tiger. You the man. You the fella. You the boss. You preach to her. Show her how the cow eats the cabbage, you hopeless loser. Betty, today, why don't you start me off with a Swedish massage, a manicure and a pedicure, okay? Seaweed wrap, loofah, belly rub, tail waxing and then crack my toes to finish.
Dog Show Host
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Dog Show.
Well, what if I compromise a little? How about I do the rolling around with the yarn ball thing? And I'll purr. I'll purr like a Ferrari. Or make that a Jaguar. I won't climb drapes, though. That's more than you get from some dumb...dog. Oops. Dogs. [The dogs sees Garfield] Uh-oh. Oh, what? You're all gonna take it personally?
[All dogs barking at Garfield] Male Owner Down, boy! Sit!
Female Owner
Stay!
Now, I'm gonna die! Oh, now I really AM gonna die!
Jon [All dogs running into the arena]
Garfield?!
No one under this tarp! Ah! That's my ear!
Odie
GARFIELD!
Dog Show Host
Owners! Maintain control of your dogs! People! Control those animals, now! Music! MUSIC, YOU IDIOT!
Odie
Garfield! Run! RUN!
Dog Show Host
[The dogs are chasing after Garfield]
I apologize for this! Please excuse this outburst! This is highly irregular!
Odie
I'll handle this.
Jon [Odie runs into the arena.]
Odie! [Whistles] Odie! Odie, come on. Come on, buddy. Come back. Odie! Odie, you want a treat? Huh? Buddy?
[Odie runs to arena and starts dancing]
Dog Show Host
[While the dogs still chasing Garfield, Odie still dancing in the arena.]
We certainly have a new star in the arena. Ladies and gentlemen, this is amazing!
Jon It's Odie!
Talented little fella, huh?
Jon Okay, what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? What... What am I gonna do? I've waited for this night my entire life.
If you tell her the truth, you'll feel much better. And you won't have to see her anymore. It's kinda creepy having a vet around the house, anyway.
Jon I can't just go out and pretend like nothing's happened, can I?
Well, I sure could. The one thing you can't do is tell her the dog's gone.
Jon I gotta tell her.
No.
Jon I've gotta tell her.
No! That's not what I said! Schmuck.
Jon [Mrs. Baker answers the door to Jon and Liz]
Hi. I'm Jon Arbuckle.
Hi.
Jon Uh, I think you have my dog, Odie.
Mrs. Baker
Oh, I think you're mistaken.
Jon No, I saw the flier. Odie's my dog.
Mrs. Baker
No, he's Happy Chapman's dog.
Jon [confused]
Happy Chapman? [Mrs. Baker holds up a hand as if to say, "Hold on a second", as he and Liz look at each other] What?
Mrs. Baker
[holding an autographed picture of Happy]
The gentleman with the cat on Channel 37. He came and took Odie home. Odie is the family name, you know? [Jon and Liz look at each other again] Well, uh… Good day.
Jon W-wait, wait!
Jon [Mrs. Baker shuts the door anyway. Jon and Liz turn away in shock]
Happy Chapman took Odie? Do you think that he's got Garfield, too?
I don't know, but we're gonna find out. [she and Jon walk away]
[as Happy finds himself surrounded by the dogs, cats and rats]
Alright, here's the drill. Cats, scratch like you've never scratched before. Dogs, bite, but don't chew. And rats, see if you can get that pretty necklace around his neck. [Happy glances around nervously as the animals close in on him] Canines, felines, and vermines, it's showtime!
Dog
[As the view turns away from Happy, his shadow can be seen as the animals attack him]
Alright, boys. Dog pile! Hit him low! Hit him high! Hit him in the legs!
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Thanks, boys. The home team will take it from here. [The animals leave] Better split before Animal Control gets here.
Dog #1
Hey, Garfield, take it easy.
Dog #2
See you later, Garfield.
Dog #3
Yo, Garfield, good luck.
Odie, would you mind sharing the remote with me, please? Every dog has his day, Happy.
Nice kitty.
Let's see what's on the news. [shocks Happy with the shock collar] Let me tell you something, Happy. To you, Odie might be just a dumb, stupid, smelly dog, but to me, he's all that and much more. He's my friend. Odie, try something else. Maybe there's a game on. [Odie shocks Happy with the shock collar again] Strong finish, little buddy.
Jon [as he and Liz arrive in the storage room after Garfield and Odie shock Happy with the shock collar]
Odie? Garfield?
Odie?
Jon Odie? Odie?
Jon This is for stealing my dog and my cat. [punches Happy in the face, startling Liz as she watches]
He didn't steal me; I was doing the rescue work.
Jon Garfield! Odie! [hugs Garfield while Liz hugs Odie] Oh, I missed you guys so much! I'm never gonna let you outta my sight again. Never. You guys are my best friends.
You had me at hello.
Walter J. Chapman
[Elsewhere, Nermal and Arlene are watching TV]
This is Walter J. Chapman with breaking news from the Midwest. Abby Shields reporting. What did you got for me, Abby?
Abby Shields
The details are sketchy, but it appears that a deranged man may be the cause of all of the trouble here.
A deranged man? What's this?
Abby Shields
[On TV, two police officers take Happy, now handcuffed, to a police car as Wendell follows them]
In fact, police are bringing the suspect out as we speak.
Walter J. Chapman
Aah! Good grief. It's my idiot brother. [makes a "Cut" gesture]
Hey! It's Happy Chapman. He's going for a ride in a police car.
Abby Shields
But sources tell me that this incident, somehow, involved a dog and a very heroic cat.
Hey, he saved Odie! Now he's a hero!
Oh, I didn't realize.
Garfield is on TV! He's a hero!
