Barney Ross
[Barney and Lee are at a bar in Providence, RI with Lee's wife flirtingly waving to Lee]
Christmas, my friend. Please tell me you ain't going through with this.
Lee Christmas
Course I am. Look at that girl. Who wouldn't marry her?
Barney Ross
She cheated on you.
Lee Christmas
It was a half-cheat.
Barney Ross
Which is?
Lee Christmas
The other side of a half-truth. The facts are murky.
Barney Ross
Murky. I hate to break it to you pal, but your girlfriend over there a the world-class cheating gene.
Lee Christmas
I should stab you in the heart.
Barney Ross
Too late. [Lee's wife comes over]
Lee Christmas
You know, I used to think you had a black heart. Black is too colorful.
...
L Lacy
[To Barney]
Promise not to keep my baby way for so long?
Barney Ross
Cross my heart. [Gets up to sit at a table with other colleagues]
Lee Christmas
If he had one.
...
Hale Caesar
[Referring to Barney]
Look whose lost in space.
GJ Gunnar Jensen
Got a pen? [Barney takes out elaborately decorated pen]
Lee Christmas
Hey, you got anything that doesn't have skulls on it?
Barney Ross
Matter of fact, I don't.
GJ Gunnar Jensen
[Writes out physics equation on napkin and holds it up]
Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, only I made it better. [Blows nose in napkin]
Gunner Jensen
[The crew is in the air and Gunner making strange grunting noise to get Maggie's attention despite being seated far apart]
She's into me.
Hale Caesar
She hates you.
Gunner Jensen
Watch this. [Feigns coughing and Maggie just stares at him unimpressed and Hale makes a throat slashing gesture with a razor blade]
Lee Christmas
[To Barney]
You know, if something happens to her, it's coming back on us. Did you ever think to ask for my opinion?
Barney Ross
I told you ten times before, I didn't have a choice, unless you don't mind going to jail.
Lee Christmas
Yeah, well, Church intimidated you.
Barney Ross
Really?
Lee Christmas
Yeah.
Barney Ross
[Lee's phone rings]
Oh, is that the woman you can never fully trust, calling again?
Lee Christmas
[To Barney]
You know, I will stab you one day. [To Lacy] Hey baby. Yeah, course I'm thinking about you. What else to think about? [Makes thumbs-down gesture to Barney]
Barney Ross
[Scoffs]
Hopeless.
...
Maggie
[To Bill]
Hey. You were in the Army, right? I can tell.
Bill 'The Kid' Timmons: Yes, ma'am. Three years. Last tour was Afghanistan, Kunar Province.
Maggie
Didn't like it anymore?
Bill 'The Kid' Timmons: Uhh... long story.
Maggie
Bill 'The Kid' Timmons: All right. I, uh, I was trained as sniper, and as an instructor, too. But, I actually wanted to mix it up, get in on the action. Uh, this one time, we're stuck out in this hell-hole valley. About 30 Taliban opened up from these house above us. And they got about eight of us pinned down bad. So I called in for artillery support. But; "no way", says the captain. Didn't wanna endanger the locals. So we scattered. Some crawled to a ditch, some... to the dry riverbed and the rest bailed, but... we were still stuck in the kill zone. And we battled for... I don't know, three hours. And finally, an Apache gunship chopper showed up to provide air cover. Scattered the Hadjis, but... smoke clears and four of my squad are dead in the ditch and two in the riverbed. Yeah, I was... mad and sick, all dead for nothing. You know, the most... screwed thing up of all... is when I got back to base that night, I found out that they shot this stray dog I had adopted. Commander's orders to get rid of all animals on the base. I mean, you'd think we had enough damn shooting for one day, you know? And, anyway, I, uh, I figured it was time to move on. I heard these guys were looking for someone, and here I am. [Maggie looks down and back heartfelt]
Trench
I need a weapon. Something big. [Eyeing Caesar's gun] Yours.
Hale Caesar
Whoa, whoa, whoa. My big weapon's hangin' right where it is.
Barney Ross
Come on, Caesar. You got a backup.
Hale Caesar
[Reluctantly hands over his gun]
If I don't get this back, your ass is terminated.
Trench
In your dreams.
Toll Road
[Eating some spoiled food]
Oh. This tastes like shit. [To Caesar] How's yours?
Hale Caesar
Can't complain about rigatoni. Plan ahead, fellas. That's all I have to say. Y'all, what if you knew you were going to die tomorrow? What would your last meal be? One choice.
Toll Road
One choice?
Hale Caesar
It'd probably be cereal for you, huh?
Toll Road
What the hell's wrong with cereal?
Gunner Jensen
It's cliché.
Hale Caesar
You gotta be original. You know, if you were an original, broad-thinking man, you'd probably come up with some special cereal, like Earios. You know, just like your ear. You know, pour milk on them suckers, they just lay there and you don't hear shit.
Toll Road
For the record, my hearing is 20/20.
Hale Caesar
Barney?
Barney Ross
Donuts and most food that kills ya.
Hale Caesar
That's deep, man.
Barney Ross
[Chuckles]
You think so?
Hale Caesar
Maggie?
Maggie
Crispy aromatic duck with plum sauce. Very sexy. [Pauses] But I like Italian, too.
Hale Caesar
I'm starting to think Italian's overrated. [Everyone laughs]
Gunner Jensen
Hey. What about me? My favorite Swedish dinner would be, baby seal, and whale ass, in the summer. [To Maggie] But I'd really die for some Chinese.
Barney Ross
Then you're gonna starve to death. [Everyone laughs]
Lee Christmas
[Flying in onto Vilain's paramilitary]
Boom time?!
Barney Ross
Boom time! [Lee readies cannon] Target in sight!
Lee Christmas
Baby wants to travel!
Barney Ross
Fire!
Lee Christmas
Rock and roll!
Barney Ross
Fire!
Hale Caesar
Bombs away! [Drops explosives barrel] Tighten up!
Maggie
What's happening now?!
Lee Christmas
Chaos! [To Barney] You're not doing what I think you're doing?!
Barney Ross
Yeah, I am!
Lee Christmas
Let's do it! [Barney intentionally rams and crash lands his plane into the plutonium mine, Maggie nearly falls out and Gunnar saves her] You're gonna need a new plane.
