Dogma quotes
162 total quotesLoki
Metatron
Multiple Characters
Rufus
Serendipity
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This wasn't my idea, alright?! Jesus Christ! I just wanted to go home. But him you know? He just lost it. He realized who you were and what you'd have to do, he just snapped. And the funny thing is, this guy could never even stand to see me work. He said he always felt sorry for you. Now look at him.
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I'm a muse, stupid!
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He doesn't know how to make a holey bartender. I know how to make a holey bartender. [Shoots the bartender with an Uzi.]
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She's a slut. Ba-a-a-a-ng.
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You are responsible for raising an icon which draws worship from the Lord. You have broken the First Commandment. More than that, not a one of you passes for a decent human being. Your continued existence is a mockery of morality.
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I hope you're the skee-ball type.
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(Liz has just fought her way through a group of pro-life protesters to enter the abortion clinic where she and Bethany work.)
Liz: You're a Catholic. Can't you talk to them?
Bethany: They hate me more than you, no doubt. At least you have an excuse. You're Jewish. You don't know any better.
Liz: Ah, they won't go for that one. We already used that excuse when we killed Christ.
Liz: You're a Catholic. Can't you talk to them?
Bethany: They hate me more than you, no doubt. At least you have an excuse. You're Jewish. You don't know any better.
Liz: Ah, they won't go for that one. We already used that excuse when we killed Christ.
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Oh, Bartleby. Was Wisconsin really that bad?
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No married man kisses his wife like that!
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Snoogens! Did you see that shit, man? I know they were just kids, but we kicked their pube-less asses!
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It's been my experience that the average male is never a man, not even for ten minutes, in his entire lifespan.
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I'm a ****in' demon and you're gonna have him assault me with a putter?
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Bethany: Whatever you do, stall Bartleby from going into that church! Bob, come with me. Come on!
Jay: How am I supposed to do that?
Bethany: Think of something!
Jay: I already did, but it takes two of us!
Jay: How am I supposed to do that?
Bethany: Think of something!
Jay: I already did, but it takes two of us!
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Nobody is ****ing me! You got that?!
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You know, you can have sex until the third trimester? (after Bethany reveals that she is pregnant)