Dogma quotes

162 total quotes

Loki
Metatron
Multiple Characters
Rufus
Serendipity

View Quote [Jay and Silent Bob have just saved Bethany from an attack by Azrael's three roller-blading henchmen.]
Bethany: I don't know what to say, or think, except--
Jay: That you'll offer us sex as a reward?
Bethany: Uh... that I'd like to know who you, and they, are.
Jay: I'm Jay and this is my hetero life-mate Silent Bob. I don't know who those kids were, but they would've kicked yours and lunch-box's asses if I hadn't represented.

View Quote Death is a worry of the living. The dead, like myself, only worry about decay and necrophiliacs.

View Quote Go back to your paper routes, you Mighty Duck ****s!

View Quote Your hearts are in the right place, but your brains gotta wake up!

View Quote Remind me to try that water-to-wine thing at my next party.

View Quote What traditionally defines a woman falls between two things: her legs. But as you can see, [raises skirt] I lack definition!

View Quote All lines are currently down.

View Quote Rufus: (to Jay and Bob) And if you clean up your language, I might just put in a good word for you two.
Silent Bob: Thanks!

View Quote Loki: Where's this church we have to go to?
Bartleby: New Jersey. Re-dedication ceremony is in four days.
(elevator door opens and the ex-angelic pair enter.)
Loki: Last four days on earth. If I had a dick, I'd go get laid. But we can do the next best thing.
Bartleby: What's that?
Loki: Let's kill people.
(a woman standing between them sputters, coughs, and spits coffee.)
Loki: Oh, not you!

View Quote I'm talking about Divine Justice here. I'm talking about raining down fire and brimstone, punishing the wicked.

View Quote Be who you've always been. Just be this as well, from time to time.

View Quote It's the end of the world, we got about five minutes... you said you'd **** me.

View Quote [awaking from a dream] I didn't **** in you, Pete, I swear.

View Quote Have you ever been to Hell, human? I think not.

View Quote Anyone that isn't dead or from another plane of existence would do well to cover their ears right about now.