Ivy quotes from Cats & Dogs (2001)

Ivy

Hey, Butch, I heard what happened. How's Lou?

Butch

I told him not to get attached to the boy.

Ivy

Sure. An agent keeps his mind on the mission and nothing else. That's why my family didn't love me, Butch.

Butch

We all have our sob stories. Now, he has his.

Ivy

Hey, can I show you something terrific? [leaps into the skip and tosses out a roast chicken] The Brodys have the best garbage on the block! Go on, take a bite!

Lou

Oh my... whoa! You mean this is what they get to eat? What a gyp!

Ivy

Mmm, glad I'm not the only one excited about the chicken. I was beginning to think I've been a stray too long.

Lou

Stray? Cool... I've never met a stray. [chuckles nervously]

Ivy

Actually, I prefer "domestically challenged."

Lou

Well, Miss Challenged, I'm sorry, but I think you gotta leave! My orders are clear! I am not gonna permit--

Ivy

Orders?

Lou

That's right! I'm a secret agent!

Ivy

An agent? Why, you're a little small for an agent. Shouldn't you be busy having fun?

Lou

I don't have time for fun!

Ivy

Ooh, tough guy... [she tickles his neck and belly, making him roll over in pleasure] Stop with the agent stuff, okay? You have your very own kid to play with. Don't take it for granted. [starts to leave]

Lou

Whoa... Hey, where you going? Could you do that again?

Ivy

Next time the boy talks to you, just tilt your head and perk up your ears. You'll see what I'm talking about. And do me a favour - tell Butch Ivy's back in town.

Mr. Tinkles

Meow-meow-me-meow-meow! How many dogs does it take to overthrow mankind? Just one stupid puppy.

Lou

Where is my family?!

Mr. Tinkles

Oh, they're alive... for now. But it won't matter. You see, I've--

Mr. Tinkles

THIS ISN'T NASCAR, YOU IDIOT! [clears throat] I have seized the professor's formula, and in a mere hour I will reverse it, giving me the power to make all humans allergic to dogs!

Butch

What?!

Mr. Tinkles

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GLOAT GLEEFULLY WHEN YOU'RE DRIVING LIKE A CHIMPANZEE?!? I MEAN, REALLY! [clears throat again] Now I will make all of humanity violently allergic to your wretched kind, and when you are all hated and despised by those you protect, you will be CAST OUT, leaving me to lead all of cat-kind in a glorious revolution to conquer the world! [laughs evilly]

Lou

What will we do?

Butch

"We"? You just handed the world back to the cats and doomed the human race forever! There's nothing left to do.

Ivy

You always give up too easily, Butch.

Butch

Is that what I think it is?

Lou

What, Butch?

Ivy

Yep, it's the Cat Tracker 2000.

Mr. Tinkles

Those fleabags must be running for the hills! [chuckles]

Calico

Yeah, I... yeah, that's what I was thinking.