Lou I've changed my mind. Call me the Claw of Ling-Chow!
Voiced by Tobey Maguire 
Cats & Dogs (2001) · 48 quotes
Cats & Dogs (2001) · 48 quotes
Tied for most-quoted character in Cats & Dogs (2001): in 15 of its 48 quotes
Most scenes with: Butch (3), Peek (3), Russian Kitty (2)
Dogs rule.
More lines from Lou
5 quotes Lou Lou See you puppies later.
Lou Where's my family?
Lou I'm coming Buuuuutch!!!
Lou I'm so fast! I can't see myself!
Scenes with Lou
9 scenes Lou I'm on to you kitty and you're in big trouble.
(deep Russian accent)
I think not, baby puppy. It is you who is in trouble. [splits a container in half and slaps a gigantic lump of dog doo in the middle of the carpet] From Russia with love.
Lou Uh-oh.
Lou HEY, YOU STUPID CAT!!!
That'll definitely get his attention.
Lou I was just thinking - if I'm gonna to be a secret agent, I should have a better name. I was thinking, "Toto Annihilation."
Nah, he's a pro-wrestler. Sorry, that name's taken.
Lou All right, then. "Doom Machine" it is.
Hey! You can call yourself "Squicky the Space-Dog" for all I care. [Sam and Peak snicker] But that don't make your behind a rocket pack. You are not an agent, but you are gonna help us.
Lou Hey, you stupid cat!
That'll get his attention.
Scotty Loser.
Lou Cat person.
Hold on a second, kid.
Lou No!
Hold it!
Lou Hey, they can't do this! You should've fought for me! For my family!
Why? What good would it do?
Lou What about "Man's Best Friend"? History 101, remember?
Okay, well, here's lesson number 2: We protect them. We work for them. We tolerate their stupid "boochy-boochy" baby-talk crap. AND FOR WHAT?! So when they go off to college, they dump you with some old lady who can't throw a ball without so much as BREAKING HER HIP! [He starts walking away]
Lou Is that what happened to you? [Butch stops] You gonna blame my family for what some boy did to you?
[looks at Lou, shocked; walks to the fence-door]
Look, kid, I'm sorry it played out like this, but it's over. We're shut down. [fence-door closes]
Hey, can I show you something terrific? [leaps into the skip and tosses out a roast chicken] The Brodys have the best garbage on the block! Go on, take a bite!
Lou [tasting the chicken]
Oh my... whoa! You mean this is what they get to eat? What a gyp!
Mmm, glad I'm not the only one excited about the chicken. I was beginning to think I've been a stray too long.
Lou Stray? Cool... I've never met a stray. [chuckles nervously]
Actually, I prefer "domestically challenged."
Lou [trying to sound tough]
Well, Miss Challenged, I'm sorry, but I think you gotta leave! My orders are clear! I am not gonna permit--
Lou That's right! I'm a secret agent!
Lou I don't have time for fun!
Ooh, tough guy... [she tickles his neck and belly, making him roll over in pleasure] Stop with the agent stuff, okay? You have your very own kid to play with. Don't take it for granted. [starts to leave]
Lou Whoa... Hey, where you going? Could you do that again?
Next time the boy talks to you, just tilt your head and perk up your ears. You'll see what I'm talking about. And do me a favour - tell Butch Ivy's back in town.
Lou [After Mrs. Brody brings home a Russian Blue kitten]
I'm onto you kitty, and you're in big trouble.
Lou [Lou barks. The Russian Blue then hacks up a large metal fur ball.]
Ugh, yuck!
[The Russian Blue opens the ball, dropping a pile of dog feces.]
From Russia with love...
Lou Uh-oh...
...stealth poop.
Mrs. Brody [Mrs. Brody walks in and gasps at the sight. Cut to the outside of the backyard, where she drops him off.]
I don't have time for this. Bad dog!
[over the phone, in a taunting "nyah nyah" sing-song]
Meow-meow-me-meow-meow! How many dogs does it take to overthrow mankind? Just one stupid puppy.
Lou Where is my family?!
Oh, they're alive... for now. But it won't matter. You see, I've--
[The limousine Tinkles is riding in swerves, sending him sliding and slamming into the side]
THIS ISN'T NASCAR, YOU IDIOT! [clears throat] I have seized the professor's formula, and in a mere hour I will reverse it, giving me the power to make all humans allergic to dogs!
What?!
[The limousine swerves again, sending Tinkles sliding into the other side]
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GLOAT GLEEFULLY WHEN YOU'RE DRIVING LIKE A CHIMPANZEE?!? I MEAN, REALLY! [clears throat again] Now I will make all of humanity violently allergic to your wretched kind, and when you are all hated and despised by those you protect, you will be CAST OUT, leaving me to lead all of cat-kind in a glorious revolution to conquer the world! [laughs evilly]
Lou What will we do?
"We"? You just handed the world back to the cats and doomed the human race forever! There's nothing left to do.
Is that what I think it is?
Lou What, Butch?
Yep, it's the Cat Tracker 2000.
[A beacon is shown to be planted on the limousine]
Those fleabags must be running for the hills! [chuckles]
Yeah, I... yeah, that's what I was thinking.
