Funktastic's the name and profit's the game. See, I'm a businessman. And my fiscal policy toward crime consists of two words, zero tolerance. Unless, of course, the criminal in question has an officially authorized franchise. And you ain't got one.
Monk With No Name
Albert Chung · 23 quotes
Kar
Seann William Scott · 22 quotes
Jade
Jaime King · 6 quotes
Struker
6 quotes
Funktastic
Marcus Jean Pirae · 5 quotes
Master Monk
Roger Yuan · 5 quotes
Nina
Victoria Smurfit · 5 quotes
Mr. Kojima
Mako · 4 quotes
Most scenes together: Kar & Monk With No Name (14), Kar & Jade (2), Monk With No Name & Master Monk (2)
Bulletproof Monk quotes
Page 3 of 4I don't like monkeys.
It's not about anger; it's about peace. It's not about power; it's about grace. It's not about knowing your enemy; it's about knowing yourself.
Ladies and gentlemen. As the newly-appointed executive director of the Human Rights Organization, I would like to welcome you all here today. Please, pardon our appearance. As you can see, we're still under construction. But we wanted you, our most generous supporters, to have a preview of our new exhibit. You see, out of the rubble that was Europe at the end of World War II, men and women of good will, people like yourselves, decided to build an organization dedicated to the prevention of human rights abuses all around the Earth. And today I am here to tell you we failed. Thanks to all of you and many others like you, we are able to continue this fight. This fight against hate, violence, oppression, and cruelty in all its forms.
Man, if I knew I was gonna pay, I wouldn't have cabbed it.
Monk, you may be good, but you are not bulletproof.
Of my destiny and the beginning of yours. When you first came to me, you were the most undisciplined youth I had ever laid eyes on. And yet you proved yourself worthy to be the next guardian. You have fulfilled the three noble prophesies. You defeated an army of enemies while a flock of crane circled above. You battled for love in the palace of jade. You freed brothers you never knew with a family you never had. Now you must make the final sacrifice.
So, I figured it out. Why hot dogs come in packages of ten and hot dog buns come in packages of eight. See, the thing is, life doesn't always work out according to plan. So be happy with what you've got, because you can always get a hot dog.
The Scroll of the Ultimate. Whoever reads its words out loud in their entirety will gain the power to control the world and turn it into a paradise or a living hell. Mankind is not ready for so much power and may never be. That is why it is our duty to protect the scroll from being read by anyone, including ourselves. Five times the Year of the Ram has passed since I became the next from my honored predecessor, and his master before him, and so on, and so on. I have been protecting the scroll for 60 years. Now it is your turn. It is done. The next 60 years should be very interesting for you.
Water which is too pure has no fish.
You may be my granddaughter. But that will only protect you for so long.
[Calls for a non responding Mr. Kojima]
Well, my boss doesn't seem to be here. Which means you don't get to watch me get yelled at.
[In torture chamber with Tibetan monks]
My brother monks, when I finally get my hands on your brother with no name, he will, of course, resist my efforts to secure the location of the scroll. But with this machine, I'll torture the information I need out of him. And now for a little test.
[In voiceover, remembering Master Monk parable while watching Kar fighting Funktastic goons]
He will defeat an army of enemies while a flock of cranes circles above. [Aloud] Impossible. Besides, he's going to lose.