Monk With No Name
[In voiceover, remembering Master Monk parable while watching Kar fighting Funktastic goons]
He will defeat an army of enemies while a flock of cranes circles above. [Aloud] Impossible. Besides, he's going to lose.
Played by Albert Chung 
Bulletproof Monk (2003) · 50 quotes
Bulletproof Monk (2003) · 50 quotes
Enjoy your vacation, Master.
More lines from Monk With No Name
5 quotes Monk With No Name
Monk With No Name
It's not about anger; it's about peace. It's not about power; it's about grace. It's not about knowing your enemy; it's about knowing yourself.
Monk With No Name
An enlightened man would offer a weary traveler a bed for the night, and invite him to share a quiet conversation over a bowl of Cocoa Puffs.
Monk With No Name
Water which is too pure has no fish.
Monk With No Name
[Of Kar]
For some reason, I believe he has potential.
Scenes with Monk With No Name
17 scenes
Master Monk
You must give up your name.
Monk With No Name
I have already forgotten it, Master.
Master Monk
[Leaving temple door]
It's time for me to do what I've always wanted to do ever since those pesky British showed up in 1904.
Monk With No Name
What's that, Master?
Master Monk
Take a vacation. [Gets shot by Waffen-SS]
Kar
[Walking down subway tunnel with Monk With No Name following after rescuing a little girl from getting run over by a train]
You son of a bitch. You just lost my whole stash.
Monk With No Name
Be happy. You helped save a human life.
Kar
Yeah, well, last time I checked there's no reward for that. Tell me, how did you do that back there?
Monk With No Name
Practice.
Kar
[Scoffs]
Who the hell are you, anyway?
Monk With No Name
That's not the question you need to ask. You should be asking yourself who you are. Your mind is filled with compassion. That's why you risked your life to help the child. But your mind is also impure. So you forget the spiritual reward and think only of the financial. Well, if you're so pure, why were all those guys in suits chasing you?
Monk With No Name
It doesn't concern you.
Kar
Let me guess, FBI, CIA, INS.
Monk With No Name
I said it doesn't concern you.
Kar
Unbelievable. [Walks off]
Monk With No Name
I'm sorry! [Kar stops, walks back with Monk With No Name walking up] Every man's life concerns every other man, especially if he is on the noble path to true enlightenment. [Extends a hand] Can you accept my apology?
Kar
Apology accepted. [Hugs Monk With No Name and steals Monk's scroll] Thanks for helping me.
Monk With No Name
No problem, man.
Monk With No Name
[Kar walking in parking lot]
Approaches Congratulations on your victory. Though, technically, you were saved by a girl. It was your charm that convinced the girl to lead them away.
Kar
Hey, Mr. Do-gooder, if you were watching the whole thing back there, how come you didn't help me out?
Monk With No Name
Because you stole from me.
Kar
Oh, yeah. That.
Monk With No Name
But your fighting is very impressive. Where do you study?
Kar
Golden Palace.
Monk With No Name
Golden Palace? You studied with the venerable fighting monks of Jinn Gong?
Kar
Whatever, man. Look, it's been really great spending more quality time with you and all that, but I gotta run, okay? Sorry about stealing your whatever the hell that is. Good luck with that enlightenment stuff. [Walks off]
Monk With No Name
The most undisciplined youth I have ever laid eyes on.
Monk With No Name
So, this is the Golden Palace where you learn how to fight.
Kar
What the hell are you doing here?
Monk With No Name
I should have known from your sloppy technique.
Kar
This is my place, okay? Get out right now.
Monk With No Name
An enlightened man would offer a humble traveler shelter for the night and share a quiet conversation over a bowl of Cocoa Puffs.
Kar
Really? [Places bottle on counter, and walks up to Monk] Well, I guess I ain't that enlightened. 'Cause I was thinking more of kicking your freaky ass back to wherever the hell it comes from.
Monk With No Name
[Walk round Kar]
For someone who says he wants to kick my freaky ass, you do a lot of talking.
Kar
[Takes off jacket]
Really? Well, I warned you, old man. [Starts fighting match]
Monk With No Name
[After fighting match]
Got a little quickness in you, don't you?
Kar
Okay. Fine. Guess I can't make you get out.
Monk With No Name
I overheard people calling you Kar.
Kar
Spelled with a K. It's Cantonese.
Monk With No Name
Funny. You don't look Cantonese.
Kar
It means “family”, okay? I figure I never had one growing up, but from now on I'll never be without it.
Monk With No Name
I'm afraid you are mispronouncing your name, sir. It should sound more like “Ga”.
Kar
Look, it's my name, okay? I'll pronounce it however I want. What about you? What's your name?
Monk With No Name
I don't have one.
Kar
What do you mean?
Monk With No Name
You gave yourself a name. I gave mine up.
Jade
Hey, you! Kar!
Kar
Hey. You don't quite look like the bad girl you did last night.
Jade
My necklace.
Kar
Excuse me?
Jade
Last night, I lost my necklace. Something tells me you may have an idea of how I can get it back.
Kar
Well, I guess I could keep my eyes and my ears open. What's in it for me?
Jade
It belonged to my mom. It's important to me.
Kar
I guess I'd owe you one.
Jade
Who is your friend?
Kar
Him? He's my personal bodyguard. Watches my back. He's an incredibly deadly Shaolin monk. Ten fingers, ten toes. Twenty reasons to die.
Jade
Shaolin monks shave their heads every day. You're no Shaolin monk. Tibetan Buddhist, maybe?
Monk With No Name
This young lady is nobody's fool.
Jade
Thank you. So why are you really hanging out wth him?
Monk With No Name
Somehow I sense he has potential.
Jade
Really? I sense he's mostly full of shit.
Monk With No Name
But rich manure can fertilize fields which will feed millions.
Kar
[After Monk defies gravity by hovering in the air before floating back down]
How did you do that?
Monk With No Name
The Air! You can't see it but it's there... it fills your lungs! Air is as real as you and me... it's as real and the same as blood or flesh or bone or earth or water. Once you understand and realize this... you treat the air the same way as you treat other things. You step on it as you would a stone, you swim through it as you would the sea. And all you have to do is truly believe.
Kar
Believe what, that the laws of gravity don't exist?
Monk With No Name
[Smugly]
If... You... Truly... Believe... That... They... Don't... [shakes head] ..Then ...They ...Don't.
Kar
You can at least tell me why those guys were chasing you
Monk With No Name
All right. [Throws off coat] Let me put it in a language you will understand.
Kar
[Softly]
Okay.
Monk With No Name
Why do hot dogs come in packages of ten while hot dog buns come in packages of just eight?
Kar
What? What the hell is that? You can't answer my question with another question, especially not one as stupid as that!
Monk With No Name
When you attain the state of enlightenment that allows you to answer my question, I will answer yours.
Kar
[Monk is applying ointment on Kar's hand]
Hey, I like this. It's cool. It's comfy. It's fast acting. This stuff is great. What is it?
Monk With No Name
Homemade. From my own urine.
Kar
[Sniffs his hand]
That's disgusting!
Monk With No Name
You must learn the unity of opposites. Be mobile and stationary. Defensive and offensive. You attack with all the wrong weapons, Kar. It is not about anger. It's about peace. [Kar makes amateurish martal arts fighting poses, then the Monk With No Name grabs Kar's finger and twists Kar's arm with him groaning] It's not about power. It's about grace. It's not about knowing your enemy. It's all about knowing yourself.
Kar
How'd you do that?
Monk With No Name
The air. You can't see it, but it fills your lungs. It's as real as blood or flesh or bone or earth, or water. Once you realize this, you treat the air the same way. You step on it as you would a stone. You swim through it as you would the sea. And all you have to do is believe.
Kar
Believe what? The laws of gravity don't exist?
Monk With No Name
If you truly believe that they don't, then they don't.
Kar
[Gets into taxi-cab playing Bhangra song Mundian To Bach Ke by Punjabi MC with no words]
So, who are these guys after the scroll? Mercenaries led by a Nazi.
Monk With No Name
A hungry ghost obsessed with the past. [Speaks Punjabi to cabbie] Never fear, never inflict fear.
Cabbie
[In Punjabi]
God is true and timeless! [In English] You speak like you were born in the Punjab, my friend. In fact, I would say you were a follower of the Guru's path yourself but...
Monk With No Name
[Pats top of head]
I know. Not enough hair.
Cabbie
Do you guys like this music?
Kar and Monk With No Name
Yeah!
Cabbie
It's the bomb diggity. [Phone rings] Excuse me, I have to talk to my baby-mamma-to-be.
Monk With No Name
Go ahead. [To Kar] In Kashmir, I studied the enlightened teachings of the Gurus until Strucker found me again.
Kar
Strucker? He's the leader?
Monk With No Name
His dream is to remake the world in his own image. Every race, creed, color he deems inferior, destroyed. Total genocide.
Kar
If all this insanity is even remotely true, you should've let me die and saved the scroll.
Monk With No Name
I place great value on your life, but not as much as I place on the life of the world.
Nina
[Scene cuts to Nina with Strucker reading the scroll]
Well?
Strucker
It's a recipe for noodle soup.
Nina
Noodle soup? [Strucker motions to Nina to come closer]
Strucker
You may be my granddaughter, but that will only protect you for so long.
Kar
[Scene cuts back to taxi-cab]
Then where's the scroll? On my body. In my soul.
Monk With No Name
I've been running for a long time. Too many close calls. The scroll needed to be someplace safe.
Kar
So you've been protecting the scroll for, like, 60 years? Look at you. You haven't aged one bit.
Monk With No Name
Whoever is entrusted with the scroll gains the trust of time. If you become ill, you will recover. If injured, you will heal. He who protects the scroll is protected by it.
Strucker
[Finding the scroll is incomplete]
Where is the rest of it?
Monk With No Name
I memorized it. Just in case someone like you managed to get this far.
Monk With No Name
[Over the discovery of Mr. Kojima's body]
Kar, over here. I'm sorry, Kar. I should have never gotten you involved. I just...
Kar
You just what?
Monk With No Name
I had a crazy notion that maybe you could fulfill a prophecy once told to me by another old man before he died. They are never going to stop until they get me and the scroll. Go someplace safe and forget about all of this.
Kar
You led me to the path I should have chosen.
Monk With No Name
Thank you, Kar. Isn't it customary to call a girl before you show up at her house?
Kar
Yeah. I figured it's in the middle of the night. If I call her up, she might say, No way in hell. If I show up in person, she's not gonna say no to my charming face. You know what, man? I'm not taking advice about women from a monk.
Monk With No Name
[Puts hand on Kar's shoulder]
I wasn't born a monk. Nobody is. [They both laugh]
Kar
[Standing at palatial residence entrance gate]
Hiding here for the night? Bad idea. [Monk pulls Kar aside]
Monk With No Name
You must trust your instincts. Where could we be safer than in a house surrounded by guards?
Kar
So how we gonna get in, genius?
Monk With No Name
Why ask me? You are the thief.
Monk With No Name
Okay. The two principles of every rip-off are misdirection and speed.
Kar
[Standing under a window]
How about a boost?
Monk With No Name
How about you do this one on your own?
Kar
You're enjoying this, aren't you?
Monk With No Name
Very much. Do it. Yeah.
Kar
[Exhales]
Okay, forget everything you've ever learned about how the universe operates. I can step on the air like a stone, swim through it like the sea. All I gotta do is believe. [Exhales, then successfully flies up to window]
Monk With No Name
Not bad.
Kar [Climbs in] Well, well, well, what do we have here? Lover of weird insects and deadly reptiles.
