Lucky for you, you're here for rock-bottom. You absolute horror of a human being.
Melvin Udall
Jack Nicholson · 51 quotes
Carol Connelly
Helen Hunt · 25 quotes
Simon Bishop
Greg Kinnear · 18 quotes
Frank Sachs
Cuba Gooding Jr. · 15 quotes
Most scenes together: Melvin Udall & Carol Connelly (15), Melvin Udall & Frank Sachs (10), Melvin Udall & Simon Bishop (5)
As Good as It Gets quotes
Page 5 of 6Never interrupt me, okay? Not if there's a fire, not even if you hear the sound of a thud from my home, and one week later there's a smell coming from there that can only be a decaying human body, and you have to hold a hanky to your face because the stench is so thick that you think you're gonna faint. Even then, don't come knocking. Or, if it's election night, and you're excited and you wanna celebrate because some fudge-packer that you date has been elected the first **** president of the United States and he's going to have you down to Camp David. And you want someone to share the moment with. Even then, don't knock, not on this door. Not for ANY reason. Do you get me, sweetheart?
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch.
Police! Donut-munching morons! Help me!
Quit worrying. You'll be back on your knees in no time.
Some of us have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes, with boats, and friends, and noodle salad. Just, no one in this car. But, a lot of people, that's their story. Good times, noodle salad. What makes it so hard is not that you had it bad, but you're that pissed that so many others had it good.
The best thing you have going for you is your willingness to humiliate yourself.
This is New York, pal. If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.
Well then get in your jamies and I'll read you a story!
What if this is as good as it gets?
Where do they teach you to talk like that? Some Panama City sailor wanna hump hump bar? Or is this getaway day and a last shot at his whiskey? Sell crazy some place else, we're all stocked up here.
Worst sidewalk in New York. Look where they put it.
Yes, I hate the doggy! Yes, I hate the doggy!
You don't love anything, Mr. Udall.
You think you can intimidate the whole world with your attitude but you don't intimidate me. I grew up in hell, home boy! My grandmother had more attitude!