Carol the waitress, meet Simon the f**.
Melvin Udall
Jack Nicholson · 51 quotes
Carol Connelly
Helen Hunt · 25 quotes
Simon Bishop
Greg Kinnear · 18 quotes
Frank Sachs
Cuba Gooding Jr. · 15 quotes
Most scenes together: Melvin Udall & Carol Connelly (15), Melvin Udall & Frank Sachs (10), Melvin Udall & Simon Bishop (5)
As Good as It Gets quotes
Page 4 of 6Do you miss the tough guy? [imitating Melvin] Well here I am, sweetheart! C'mere ya little piss-ant mop!
Have you ever let a romantic moment make you do something that you knew was stupid?
How can you diagnose someone as having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and then act as if I had some kind of choice about barging in here?
I like Simon! And I like him enough to batter you unrecognizable if you verbally abuse him, or so much as touch that dog again. In the meantime, I'm gonna try to think of some way you can make it up to him. I hate doin' this! I'm an art dealer! Have a nice day.
I can't do this without you. I'm afraid he might pull the stiff one-eye on me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is... you make me want to be a better man.
I might be the only person on the face of the earth that knows you're the greatest woman alive. I might be the only one who appreciates how amazing you are in every single thing that you do, and how you are with Spencer. And in every single thought that you have, and how you say what you mean, and how you almost always mean something that's all about being straight and good. I think most people miss that about you, and I watch them, wondering how they can watch you bring their food and clear their tables, and never get that they just met the greatest woman alive. And the fact that I get it makes me feel good, about me.
I want your life for one minute where my biggest problem is someone offering me a free convertible so I can get outta this city.
I'm drowning here, and you're describing the water!
I'm in a freakball here!
I'm losing my apartment, Melvin. And Frank, he wants me to beg my parents, who haven't called me, for help. And I won't. And... I don't want to paint any more! So the life that I was trying for, is over. The life that I had is gone, and I'm feeling so damn sorry for myself that it's difficult to breathe.
If you ever mention my son again, you will never be able to eat here again. Do you understand? Give me some sign you understand, or leave now. Do you understand me, you crazy ****!
If you stare at someone long enough, you discover their humanity.
Life is pain management