Santa
Dear Arthur, what a puzzle.
Tied for 5th most-quoted character in Arthur Christmas (2011): in 7 of its 46 quotes
Most scenes with: Steve (6), Arthur (3), Grandsanta (3)
Scenes with Santa
7 scenes
Grandsanta says he's not here.
Hi, I'm looking for a missing relic.
Steve, 3 words.
Is the first one "help"?
Yes. You can help us, Steve!
It was him! Frosty the Madman, he forced me to come! [to Bryony] Elf, back me up if you want a career.
I forced you?
Ya see?! Look!
What did you want, Grandsanta? Let me guess. Hmm, a picture of you in the sleigh delivering the gift to show me how it's really done?
You know the picture they'll have tomorrow? You lead away in handcuffs! The Santa who was seen by everybody on Earth. The Santa who ruined Christmas.
We'll fix this, Steve. We'll be back home in a wobble of a reindeer's buttocks. A-And Evie can go back in mothballs. You can forget she ever existed.
You can't just go home! [pulls away the reins] What about Gwen?!
Gwen? For that you'd threaten my whole operation?
Steve, you said if there was any way to get there, you would. Well, this is it! Look, the old sleigh's perfect! [a piece broke off of Evie] Oh, right. Well, anyway, it goes really fast, even with bits missing, and we've got quite a few reindeer left. And if I'm sick again, I can be sick in a bag.
I'll wrap him one!
Elf 1
We can help them, sir!
Elf 2
No one missed, sir!
Elf 3
All correct presents, present and correct, sir!
Elf 4
[Steve considers helping Arthur and Grandsanta while Peter offers him a drink]
Grandsanta and Arthur would be the heroes of the night, sir! [Peter drops the drink in shock]
Arthur, this is Dad we're talking about. There was a time when he cared about every last gift tag, but now he just wants to be loved and get some rest.
No! He's-He's lying awake, worrying his beard off about Gwen.
Santa
[Steve presses a button on his HOHO, revealing a voicemail] [in the voicemail]
Ho-ho-ho! Off to the land of nod. Please do not disturb until December 26. Is that it, dear?
[after learning Santa has gone to bed without caring about Gwen]
No. Santa's the most caring man in the world!
Then why are you here, not him?
[Grandsanta pulls the reins really hard, causing Evie and the remaining reindeer to turn upside down, and then he, his pet reindeer, Bryony, and Arthur fall down onto a deserted island and Gwen's gift falls near Arthur, who walks away in disappointment]
Don't leave me, Arthur! Poor old man and his reindeer on our own at Christmas? At least have the decency to finish us off with a rock!
[Arthur stops, and then walks away again]
[Santa, Steve and Grandsanta argue over who is the real Santa and gets to deliver the present] [grabs the present]
Gimme that! [Grandsanta grabs it too] I'm Santa! I'm delivering it!
Don't be silly. I'm Santa! Can't you see from me suit?
Santa
I am actually Santa, and I think it would best if...
Santa
I didn't, in fact. Technically...
I am Santa, you naughty boys. Here, have a bonbon.
Gwen
[offscreen]
It's Christmas!
Please! Gwen just has to have a present from Santa.
Santa
[hands Arthur the present]
You do it, Arthur.
[Steve accidentally delivers the new gift to the wrong child in Mexico rather than England] [enters the S-1]
Okay, so I'm not great with children. Does that make me a bad Santa? You're hardly perfect. Let me guess: You put in the address, saw a list of Trelews and clicked on the first one? You're just like Arthur!
Santa
[stunned]
Am I?
North Pole incoming.
Elf 1
Sir the soldiers have shot the sleigh! [Margaret gasps]
Elf 2
But sir, it's Arthur! He's still going!
Santa
[the elves chant for Arthur, who is still riding Gwen's bike to her house] [amazed]
Arthur?
[Grandsanta, Malcolm and Steve start to leave while Arthur turns back to watch Gwen open her gift]
Dad, wait! Please, let's... [gestures to the door]
Santa
[joins Arthur]
Oh. In all my years, I've never actually... Always so busy. [Steve comes up beside them] Too busy. I'm not good at... [pats his sons on the back, they both look at him] In my day, a pat on the back and a walnut went a long way.
Gwen
Come on! It's downstairs! [she runs down the stairs] I think it's under the tree. [her parents follow, she tears the wrapping] I can see pink. [Santa, Grandsanta, Steve and Arthur watch as Gwen opens her present] It's a BIKE! Santa brought me the bike I wanted! Can I have a go? Please, please, please?
Santa
[Santa looks from the beaming Arthur to Steve]
Steve, you deserve to be Santa. [Steve gasps and looks at the Santa figure Arthur earlier gave him] But Steve, I wonder... if Gwen is right. [looks at Arthur]
Gwen
[as she rides her bike]
Careful, I'm gonna bump into you!
[considers for a moment then holds out the figure to Arthur]
I'll be the candle, eh? [Arthur gasps as he realizes the implications]
Santa
You're better men than... [sniffles] Both of you.
Gwen
A bike and... a squirrel?! Oh! [the squirrel runs away]
[The Clauses exit the house, and Bryony picks up Steve's dropped HOHO to report in]
Drop complete! [the number of children without a gift changes from 1 to 0] And we have a new Santa! [pans the HOHO to show Arthur climbing out the window. Everyone cheers]
Santa
Alright, um... 23 Mimosa Avenue, Trelew. [the S-1's rocks and oxygen masks are knocked out]
Really, Malcolm, there's no harm in using a manual. Men.
Santa
Margaret, I order you to disembark. It's not safe. [he makes the S-1 rock again]
Piffle. I did a microlight flying course on the Internet. [she stabilizes the S-1] It can't be that different.
Santa
[the doors open to reveal an angry Steve]
Oh. Steve.
Malcolm, you told me he knew. You know how Steve feels about his S-1.
Santa
[as he makes the S-1 rock twice]
It's my S-1. S for "Santa". I'm flying to this child.
Of course she's all that matters, not me, your son! Not the 2 billion things I did right tonight, no!
Santa
[awkward silence]
This is about that pool table, isn't it? I told you; you should have written to me!
I was 8! You're my dad!
For goodness' sake! [stomps her thermos] Arthur and Grandsanta are out there, probably not wearing nearly enough layers, and you 2 are bickering over a big red toy?!
Santa
I-I'm not bickering. If Steven could just stand back... [the airbag blows on him]
S-1 Computer
Air bag.
Santa
[the air bag slowly deflates, and Santa stands up and faces Steve] [sadly]
You drive, Steven. [sits down]
Thank you. [stabilizes the S-1 and puts on a pair of gloves] So, since gift delivery to child 47785BXK is all that seems to matter, I'll do it myself. Then we'll pick up Arthur and Grandsanta from whatever ditch they've ended up in.
S-1 Computer
Maximum thrust. [the S-1 sinks to launch]
Santa
[Santa, Margaret, and Steve have arrived in Trelew, Mexico on the S-1]
Out with the old, in with the new.
Santa
[back on the Bridge of the S-1 as Steve has gone to give who he thinks is Gwen what is believed to be another version of the bike]
Poor Arthur. He tried so hard. He's flunked again.
Of course he hasn't, dear. We're here. The little girl will get her present. I think he's done rather splendidly.
Santa
[exclaiming]
My Margaret.
[rings the doorbell, the door opens and a young boy appears]
Good morning, Gwen. Ho, ho, et cetera. Apologies for the minor delay. I'm sure that even a child can understand that in an operation as complex as Christmas, there's always an insignificant margin of error, which is you. As a gesture, I've upgraded you to the... [reveals a big purple hi-tech bicycle] ...Glamorfast Ultra X-3, which retails at $9.99 more than your requested gift. Bigger, ergo better. If you wouldn't mind just signing a legal waver? [attempts to give Pedro the HOHO with a pen for him to sign]
Pedro
[confused]
No le entiendo señor! Soy Pedro! [I don't understand sir. I am Pedro!]
P-Pedro? A boy?
Pedro
¿Quien es usted? [Who are you?]
A Spanish boy? This is an error. No hablo Español. [I don't speak Spanish] [snatches the bike off Pedro] Now get off the bike. [Pedro and Steve start fighting, Pedro starts weeping and wailing in a tantrum, Santa and Margaret back up on the S-1's bridge can see the commotion on the S-1's Steve-cam] Will you get...? No, no, no. Please don't cry. No cry-o. No, uh, "sob-idad". Uh...