Peter
[after learning about Arthur being the new Santa]
You know, I've always liked Arthur. Ya think he likes espresso?
Played by Marc Wootton 
Arthur Christmas (2011) · 46 quotes
Arthur Christmas (2011) · 46 quotes
Scenes with Peter
4 scenes Peter
Grandsanta
[referring to Steve]
Tell him I'm not here!
Bryony
Grandsanta says he's not here.
Steve
Hi, I'm looking for a missing relic.
Grandsanta
Steve, 3 words.
Steve
Is the first one "help"?
Arthur
Yes. You can help us, Steve!
Grandsanta
It was him! Frosty the Madman, he forced me to come! [to Bryony] Elf, back me up if you want a career.
Arthur
I forced you?
Grandsanta
Ya see?! Look!
Steve
What did you want, Grandsanta? Let me guess. Hmm, a picture of you in the sleigh delivering the gift to show me how it's really done?
Grandsanta
[puts away camera]
No.
Steve
You know the picture they'll have tomorrow? You lead away in handcuffs! The Santa who was seen by everybody on Earth. The Santa who ruined Christmas.
Peter
[tauntingly]
Ruined it!
Grandsanta
We'll fix this, Steve. We'll be back home in a wobble of a reindeer's buttocks. A-And Evie can go back in mothballs. You can forget she ever existed.
Arthur
You can't just go home! [pulls away the reins] What about Gwen?!
Steve
Gwen? For that you'd threaten my whole operation?
Arthur
Steve, you said if there was any way to get there, you would. Well, this is it! Look, the old sleigh's perfect! [a piece broke off of Evie] Oh, right. Well, anyway, it goes really fast, even with bits missing, and we've got quite a few reindeer left. And if I'm sick again, I can be sick in a bag.
Bryony
I'll wrap him one!
Elf 1
We can help them, sir!
Elf 2
No one missed, sir!
Elf 3
All correct presents, present and correct, sir!
Arthur
[the elves set up to deliver Gwen's present]
If you'd help us, Steve, we can do it.
Elf 4
[Steve considers helping Arthur and Grandsanta while Peter offers him a drink]
Grandsanta and Arthur would be the heroes of the night, sir! [Peter drops the drink in shock]
Steve
[quickly]
Come home now! If we all just gave in to Christmas spirit, there'd be chaos.
Grandsanta
[pulls the reins toward him]
We're on our way, Steve!
Arthur
[pulls the reins away again]
NO! Santa would want us to get to Gwen. Ask him! Please!
Steve
Arthur, this is Dad we're talking about. There was a time when he cared about every last gift tag, but now he just wants to be loved and get some rest.
Arthur
No! He's-He's lying awake, worrying his beard off about Gwen.
Santa
[Steve presses a button on his HOHO, revealing a voicemail] [in the voicemail]
Ho-ho-ho! Off to the land of nod. Please do not disturb until December 26. Is that it, dear?
Margaret
[in the voicemail]
Yes, Malcolm. Press the red... [the voicemail ends]
Arthur
[after learning Santa has gone to bed without caring about Gwen]
No. Santa's the most caring man in the world!
Bryony
Then why are you here, not him?
Grandsanta
[Grandsanta pulls the reins really hard, causing Evie and the remaining reindeer to turn upside down, and then he, his pet reindeer, Bryony, and Arthur fall down onto a deserted island and Gwen's gift falls near Arthur, who walks away in disappointment]
Don't leave me, Arthur! Poor old man and his reindeer on our own at Christmas? At least have the decency to finish us off with a rock!
[Arthur stops, and then walks away again]
Steve
[watches the footage of Grandsanta and Arthur departing the North Pole aboard Evie]
The old sleigh? What is happening here?! It was supposed to be chopped up for firewood decades ago. How on earth did that devious...?
Peter
[interrupts Steve]
Old people, sir. Shall I get you your stress ball?
Steve
We have a finer comms array than the Pentagon, and you're saying we can't contact them unless by some crazy, ancient... [interrupted once again]
Ernie
[offscreen]
Toodle-ooh! Here comes the cavalry! [An elderly elf, probably as old as Grandsanta comes hobbling down the Communications Center pushing a Signalator device]
Peter
Ernie Clicker, sir.
Ernie
Head of Polar Communications for 46 missions. Oh crikey-blikey! Me and your granddad saw some times. I remember once...
Steve
[interrupts Ernie and puts him in the chair]
Wow, must catch up soon. Now.
Ernie
Oh, you're in a hurry. I can tell.
Steve
[Ernie blows the dust off the Signalator, Peter plugs the cord in]
Oh, this is ridiculous. Could we hurry this?
Ernie
Oh, you can't rush the Signalator. Gotta play gentle. [unhurriedly tries to communicate with Grandsanta and Arthur] So, what do you wish to say? I wouldn't worry. It's not like they're surrounded by man-eating lions.
Arthur
[cut to Arthur, Grandsanta and Bryony being surrounded by 7 lions in Africa] [desperately serenading the lions by waving his musical slippers and singing "Silent Night" with different lyrics]
Silent night / Holy night / All is calm... [one lion roars at Arthur] Aah! All is bright / I realize this is mental / But it's all that I know / It's Christmas, nice kitties / So please let us go
Bryony and Grandsanta
[shrug and join Arthur]
Sleep in heavenly peace / Sleep in heavenly peace.
[because of the "lullaby", the lions fall asleep and the three tiptoe slowly to make an escape, but a bang from the sleigh wakes the lions again. They chase after the trio, and they escape in Evie]
Steve
[gets a phone call on his HOHO, it wakes him up]
Hello? What elf?
Peter
Bryony Shelfley, sir! The crazy wrapping elf, you know? Security tracked her to Sector 19. And we think Arthur was here.
Steve
Arthur?
Peter
Who else leaves the door open, huh, sir?
Steve
The old sleigh barn? That was sealed up decades ago. After that terrible night, Grandsanta sneaked out and... Thank goodness he is too old these days to get into trouble.
