Cab Driver: I knew this would end up in the nuthouse.
Mr. Witherspoon: [offended] We like to think of it as a rest home!
Mortimer Brewster
Cary Grant · 37 quotes
Teddy
John Alexander · 33 quotes
Jonathan Brewster
Raymond Massey · 12 quotes
Abby
Josephine Hull · 9 quotes
Elaine Harper
Priscilla Lane · 9 quotes
Dr. Einstein
Peter Lorre · 8 quotes
Martha
Jean Adair · 5 quotes
Most scenes together: Mortimer Brewster & Teddy (19), Elaine Harper & Teddy (8), Teddy & Abby (7)
Arsenic and Old Lace quotes
Page 3 of 5Lt. Rooney: Who are you? What's your name?
Well, usually I'm Mortimer Brewster, but I'm not quite myself today.
I've got thirteen!
No, Johnny, twelve — don't brag.
Thirteen! There's Mr. Spinalzo and the first one in London, two in Johannesburg, one in Sydney, one in Melbourne, two in San Francisco, one in Phoenix, Arizona...
Phoenix?
The filling station...
Filling station? Oh!
Then three in Chicago and one in South Bend.
You cannot count the one in South Bend. He died of pneumonia!
He wouldn't have died of pneumonia if I hadn't shot him!
No, no, Johnny. You cannot count him. You got twelve, they got twelve. The old ladies is just as good as you are!
[Mortimer is feeling amorous in the cemetery with Elaine]
Mortimer! Right out here in the open with everyone looking?
Yes, right out here in the open with everyone looking. Let everyone in Brooklyn over sixteen look!
[watching the fighting, lighting up a cigarette]
I got the papers signed — papers are all signed, what do I care? Go ahead — fight, fight. [watching the police trying to bring down Jonathan with a shoe] Oh, don't do that. It never works. [Jonathan collapses] What do you know? it worked!
All I did was cross the bridge and I was in Brooklyn. Amazing.
Certainly there are thirteen bodies in the cellar and there are hundreds more in the attic!
CHAAARGE!!!
Even the cat's in on it!
I shall be in my office vetoing some bills.
Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.
The home of my youth... As a child, I wanted to escape it. Now, I want to escape back into it.
This time, I want the face of an absolute non-entity!
We better not leave the car parked in the street; it might be against the law.