Elaine But Mortimer, you're going to love me for my mind, too.
One thing at a time!
Played by Priscilla Lane 
Arsenic and Old Lace (1944) · 62 quotes
Arsenic and Old Lace (1944) · 62 quotes
Tied for 4th most-quoted character in Arsenic and Old Lace (1944): in 9 of its 62 quotes
Most scenes with: Teddy (8), Mortimer Brewster (5), Abby (2)
We were married today. We were going over Niagara Falls in a barrel. Your brother tries to kill me. A taxi is waiting and now you want to sleep on a window seat. You can take the honeymoon, your wedding ring, your taxi, your window seat, and put 'em in a barrel and push 'em all over Niagara Falls!
Scenes with Elaine Harper
8 scenes Elaine Yeah, yeah, I know that bromide. Something borrowed, something blue - old, new! Rice and old shoes, carry you over the threshold, Niagara Falls — all the silly tripe I've made fun of for years. Is this what I've come to? I can't go through with it. I won't marry you and that's that!
Elaine [adoring]
Yes, Mortimer.
What do you mean, "Yes, Mortimer"? Aren't you insulted? Aren't you going to cry? Aren't you going to make a scene?
Elaine [adoring]
No, Mortimer.
And don't "No, Mortimer" me either! Don't... Don't you see, marriage is a superstition, it... It's old-fashioned, it's... I... Ohhhh...
[He kisses her and hauls her into the marriage license office]
Rev. Harper
Have you ever tried to persuade him that he wasn't Teddy Roosevelt?
Oh, no.
Oh, he's so happy being Teddy Roosevelt.
Oh... Do you remember, Martha, once, a long time ago, we thought if he'd be George Washington, it would be a change for him, and we suggested it.
And do you know what happened? He just stayed under his bed for days and wouldn't be anybody.
Elaine Well, that's a fine thing. We're married one minute and you're throwing me out of the house the next.
I am not throwing you out of the house, I am not throwing you out of the house, I am not throwing you out of the house. Will you get out of here?
[He pushes her out and slams the door]
Elaine But, Mortimer — Niagara Falls.
Perhaps we should introduce ourselves. This is Dr. Einstein.
Elaine Dr. Einstein?
Yes, a surgeon of great distinction... and something of a magician.
Elaine Now, I suppose you're going to tell me that you're Boris Kar—
I am Jonathan Brewster!
Elaine [Mortimer is feeling amorous in the cemetery with Elaine]
Mortimer! Right out here in the open with everyone looking?
Yes, right out here in the open with everyone looking. Let everyone in Brooklyn over sixteen look!
Reverend Harper
The bunkhouse?
Yes. The stairs are always San Juan Hill.
