Goofy Gawrsh, Pete. One day, you're changing their diapers, and the next thing you know... they're all grown up and leaving for college.
Well, Goof, the way I see it, it's my last day of babysittin' and I'm a free man! Oh, yeah! [laughing] Free, free, free I tell ya! [laughing] Come on, son! I can't miss ya if you don't leave! [laughing harder]
Goofy Oh, Sylvia, I... oh, if you'll let me I...
Shh! No talking in the library.
Goofy Oh, gawrsh, Sylvia. I really care about you.
Well gee. If a certain someone truly cared about another someone, you would think that the certain someone would show up for a certain special dinner, or at least apologize for not showing up, or even call or... something!
Goofy Oh, you're right. I'm so sorry. I let my head get so filled up with fiddle-faddle that I plumb lost track of everything that’s important to me - countin’ you. Can you ever forgive me?
Oh, how can I not forgive you?
Pencils down. I said... pencils down.
Goofy Wait a minute! I'm not finished! I've got--
IT'S ...over, Mr. Goof.
We'll win how we always win. And how's that, Gammas?
Skill?
Eh, good looks?
No, you dense dolts. We cheat.
CHEAT! CHEAT! CHEAT!
Just like we did last time, sweetheart.
And that was a great cheat. But now...[sinister] I have a much better plan.
Goofy I gotta warn Maxie!
Help! [coughing] Bradley! [coughing] Gammas, help me! [coughing] Anyone! 9-1-1, baby!
Over here, man! Dogboy! Am I glad to see you, sweetheart.
Goofy Max, where are you? Where are you, Max? Maxie! [slips on Max's skateboard]
Dad, help me lift this beam off of Tank! [Goofy gets up and starts to lift the beam up just as the burning debris is about to fall]
Come on! We're about to be baked Alaska here!
That's some kid you got there.
Goofy You're wrong, Tank. He's not a kid anymore.
Goofy But... this is yours.
No, Dad. This is for you. Read the inscription.
Goofy "I might not be your little boy anymore, but I'll always be your son."
[Goofy and Max embrace]
Do you realize going off to college means no more well-meaning, but totally smothering, overprotective, doting, ah-yucking dads?
Yeah. Well, yours at least. My dad's been counting down the days until he can turn my room into a bowling alley.
Max [grins] Hey, we have a surefire way to shoot straight to the top of the freshman heap.
The College X-Games!
First freshman team to win it all!
Bobby [smirks] First team to boot those number one Gammas on their boot-tays!
Huh! The Gammas may be five-time winners, but I hope they're ready for a losing streak!
Let's beat the Gammas! [raise their hands] LET'S DO IT TO IT!!
Goofy Gawrsh, Pete. One day, you're changing their diapers, and the next thing you know...they're all grown up and leaving for college.
Well, Goof, the way I see it, it's my last day of babysitting, and I'm a free man! Oh, yeah! Ha-ha! Free, free, free, I tell ya! Yahoo! Ha-ha! Come on, son! I can't miss ya if you don't leave! [guffaws]
Goofy Yeah. Free.
Goofy Here, let me help you pack.
Goofy I sure hope so. I'm not gonna be there at college to pick up after you. [emotionally] In fact, it's gonna be a long time before you see your old man again. What, maybe Christmas?
Goofy It's time to take charge, live your own life. [picks up Ol' Stuffed Bear] You're a grown man now, Maxie-poo. [places Ol' Stuffed Bear in suitcase]
I'm not taking Ol' Stuffed Bear to college, Dad.
Goofy Sure you are.
No.
Goofy What are you talking about?
No, Dad! [grabs Ol' Stuffed Bear as Goofy and Max both pull]
Goofy C'mon.
Dad, stop this! I'm not kidding!
Goofy You're gonna need him.
No, Dad, NO!! [furiously tosses Old Stuffed Bear and it hits the wall before tumbling off the bed, hitting the floor as it squeaks]
Goofy Well then, I got something else for you. [gives Max a package] Son, I want you to help this.
Whoa, it weighs like a ton! I bet it's one of those combo TV-CD-VCR-Laptop-Scanner-Fax things, right? Oh, man, they are so cool! [opens the box, noticing an old timey-looking receipt typewriter, looking stunned just as the camera Goofy snaps a photo]
Goofy Ah-yuck! Too stunned to speak, huh?
No, just...stunned. Heh. What is it?
Goofy This was my father's. And now, son, it's yours.
Thanks, Dad. This means a lot to me. [puts typewriter down] Oh, listen. I'm gonna turn in. [stretches, takes off his shirt and yawns] You know, big day tomorrow. [gets into his bed. Goofy pulls Max's blanket over him, strokes his hair and leaves the room. As he leaves, he turns back to him] Good night, Dad.
Goofy Good night, son. [turns off the light before leaving the door slightly open. Afterwards, Max sleepily pulls up Ol' Stuffed Bear, cuddling it a bit one last time as it squeaks briefly. Goofy secretly watches, as he tears up]
Goofy Did you brush your teeth?
Goofy Comb your hair?
Goofy Did you put on clean underwear?
Whoop! Gotta go!
Goofy But Max--
Whoa! [falls into the vehicle]
Goofy Goin' already?!
Yeah, I have to get there early for freshman orientation, Dad. See ya!
Goofy What about breakfast? You need your three squares a day, you know!
Don't worry, we'll pick up donuts on the way! Love ya, miss ya, see you at Christmas, bye! [he, P.J. and Bobby hoot and holler happily]
Goofy Don't forget to have some milk with those...donuts! [softly] Good-bye, my little college man. [mournfully enters the house, approaching the stairs before moaning mournfully, walking up. He comes to the top while stopping as he looks inside the now empty bedroom. He sniffles a bit before looking at the ground, noticing a sock with hole on the ground, folds the sock, putting it up before looking at the mirror, noticing something in the reflection. He turns around, looking surprised as he sees Old Stuffed Bear on the bed, walks to it, and sits on the bed before holding Old Stuffed Bear; voice breaking] Gawrsh. [touches Old Stuffed Bear's stomach, which squeaks a bit before he looks around the room, and sobs heartbrokenly and sniffles, cradling Old Stuffed Bear]
Hiya, dad.
Goofy Maxie. [hugs toy robot]
Goofy's Boss: Mr. Goof! An assembly line is for assembling! [a camera appears in front of Goofy, who drops the toy robot in shock] Stop daydreamin' and get back to work, or else!
Goofy's Boss: Goofy, I warned you. You're...FIREEEEEEED!!!
Goofy Sorry, Boss. I'm not gonna happen again.
Ah, this is everything I dreamed it would be.
This place puts the "rage" in "outrageous." [he bows a bit]
No kidding, it buries what we're used to.
Okay, all right. Just remember, there's nothing here that we can't handle.
Oh, I seriously doubt that. We're gonna eat you alive, freshmen.
Attention! Would Gamma Team One and Team 99 report to the street competition platform.
Hey, guys, that's us. Let's do it to it.
Goofy Good luck, son.
Hey-ho and what do you know? Welcome to the sixth annual College X-Games.
WHOO!!
Our contestants are gonna spin, twist, lunge and plunge like there's no tomorrow. Today's qualifying round will determine who will compete in the semi-finals. And now, let's see what's happening at our first venue, the skateboarder's street competition from our man on the street, Ken Clark!
Welcome, one and all. Today...
Thank you, Ken. Word on the street is that there's a new kid in town now who poses a threat to Bradley Uppercrust the Third.
That's right, Chuck, and his name is...
Max Goof!
Goofy Maxie! I've been looking all over for you, son. Where ya been? I can't tell you how sorry I am.
Oh, save your breath. You may have won this time, but Dad... [groans angrily] ...this campus just isn't big enough for the both of us.
Goofy I didn't mean for it to turn out this way, Max. I was just tryin' to get closer to ya.
Oh, don't you get it?! I'm trying to get away from you! I'm not a little kid anymore! NOW JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND GET YOUR OWN LIFE!!! [furiously storms into his class, Goofy tries reaching for Max before he sighs sadly]
Good morning, people. It would appear that it is time to start. You may open-- [Goofy opens the door and enters] Ah, Mr. Goof. Nice of you to join us today.
Goofy Huh? Oh, yeah. Right.
You may open your envelopes and begin. [the envelopes are opened with the papers glanced a bit. The fat dog sighs a bit, looking at where Max is busy writing frustratedly with the students near him glancing; swiftly pushes Goofy's head to the papers] Let's not have any wandering eyes.
[Goofy looks at the papers, but sighs as he starts writing. As that is happening, Tinkerputt looks at the familiar serpent looking at one of the students. Later, as the students are sleeping with the testers taking the tests, Goofy is scribbling Max's name before he sighs, looking depressed. At that moment, Goofy notices the flower in the picture transforming to real flowers before out comes a man. He turns the tape player on before the man motions Goofy, now in white background, to follow. The area swirls before Goofy notices himself on a chair with a table as the sun is starting to rise. He notices a flower blooming before a teacup is shown. The dream tea is poured to one of the cups past a flying teacup. The man grins with Goofy happily taking the drink. Just then, out comes a fairy Max who grins as Goofy grins back. Then out comes another fairy Max, along with a third from the teacups and sugar bowl, much to the bowl's annoyance. Many Max fairies come to the grinning Goofy as they wave]
Hi, Dad.
[At that moment, a man flies past him before going near Goofy. He comes to Goofy, smirking as he points to Max fairies flying below the table. After a moment, a flash occurs before up comes Max, whom grins. He points as Goofy gets scared as the now big shadow begins covering Goofy. To his shock, he sees a furious and monstrous Max growling in anger, violently snatching the tablecloth as Goofy is pulled off, as he yells his Goofy Yell. While falling downward, the familiar visions begin showing up with each shouting]
Goofy's Boss: You're...FIRED!!!
I, uh, notice that you don't have a college degree.
C'mon, son! I can't miss you if you won't leave! [guffaws]
Goofy Whoa! [smashes to the ground as everything flashes. He moans before sitting up at where a white background is at]
Goofy Huh?
Goofy Huh? [looks around with concern before looking up where the top is showing the angriest Max, now normal]
Leave me alone and get your own life! [angrily shuts the door before everything fades as Goofy only looks down in depression, cries]
Pencils down. I said...
Goofy Huh?
...pencils down.
Goofy Wait a minute! I'm not finished! I've got--
It's...over, Mr. Goof.
Goofy Oh, Pete, what am I gonna do now?
Oh, look, Goof, it's no big deal. All that book learning doesn't prepare you for doodly-squat. It's useless in the real world. Ha! All them square roots, and circumnavigating and circumference and...bah! It's all [grabs horseshoe] "garbology." Looky here. If you know that four quarters adds up to a simoleon, you'll survive. [throws horseshoe which hits the stake and falls on the sand] Anyone who tells you anything different is primin' your pump. [throws horseshoe and laughs as the horseshoe hits horseshoe stake and bounces away] Take it from me, pal!
Goofy's Voice: [thinking; as he comes to his senses] If you want that diploma, you gotta fix both eyes on it...
What are ya--?!
Goofy's Voice: ...like it was this here horseshoe stake.
Goofy That's it! I lost my focus! I gotta get back there and straighten things out! [trips over table with food] Whoa! [gets back up] Focus. [leaves, and goes back to the college]
Oh! Oh, you did it! You did it! Oh, look! All A's. [hugs him] Oohhhh!!
Goofy Whoa!
Oh, I am just so proud of you, Goofy. Let's go celebrate.
Goofy Oh, you know I'd love to, but I got a few more things to take care of.
Goofy So, ya see, I have to quit the team.
You what?
Hey, no way!
What is he talking about, huh?
Just what makes you think you can change your mind on the last day of the competition? [Tank grabs Goofy by his ears and lifts him into the air]
Should I knock some sense into his big melon?
Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa. Hey. Down. Down, Tank. Easy, boy. [pokes Goofy's nose] If you're thinkin' you're quitting the Gammas to join that freshman geek son of yours, you've got another thing comin'. [cruelly jabs Goofy's stomach]
Bull's-eye, baby. Dog-Boy's in trouble, and Daddy's gonna bail him out. [The Gammas laugh mockingly, but Goofy grows defiant]
Goofy No, siree, sir. [Furiously grabs Bradley's pool cue and slams it into Tank's foot, making him let go of him]
Ahh! Ow! My bunion! [The rest of the Gammas look shocked at Goofy's unexpected counterattack. Goofy and Bradley confront each other while struggling for control of the pool cue]
Goofy I'm not gonna be on anyone's team.
Smart man, but you forgot one thing: nobody, I repeat, nobody quits the Gammas!
Goofy If you were such darn winners before, you'll be just fine without me. [He pushes Bradley aside] I'm leavin' the Gammas, and that's that. [He tries to leave, but two of the Gammas use pool cues to block his path]
No, you're not leavin' the Gammas.
Goofy WHOA!!!! [lands on the opposite side of the street]
Bradley The Gammas are leavin' you!
Sayonara.
Yeah, Hasta la vista, baby!
Goofy Gee, I think they're a little sore at me. [He pats himself and realizes he still has his "Gamma Mu Mu Pledge" pin on his chest] Whoops. [takes off the pin] Better return my Gamma pin. [He stealthily re-enters to the Gamma house and puts his pin on the dresser, but then overhears the Gammas talking]
We'll win how we always win. And how's that, Gammas?
Skill?
Uh, good looks? What?
No, you dense dolts, we'll cheat. [Goofy hides behind the door into the pool room to avoid being detected]
CHEAT! CHEAT! CHEAT! CHEAT!
And that was a great cheat. [Sinisterly, with a pair of devilish horns behind his head] But now, I have a better plan.
Goofy I gotta warn Maxie.
Goofy NOOOOO! I'm comin', Maxie!
