Goofy
Behold the legendary Bigfoot!
Played by Bill Farmer 
A Goofy Movie (1995) · 29 quotes
A Goofy Movie (1995) · 29 quotes
Goodbye, house! Goodbye, mailbox! [backs up and damages his fence] Goodbye, pile of broken wood!
More lines from Goofy
2 quotes Goofy
Goofy
Day one. Well, here we are, out on the open road, retracing the steps of my boy hood. And here's Maxie! A-hyuck! Say hi, Max!
Scenes with Goofy
19 scenes Goofy
Garsh, Pete. You sure are good with kids.
Pete
Oh, yeah. Well, they love me. Why, P.J., he's been begging me to take him on vacation this summer.
Goofy
Really? Where ya goin'?
Pete
Campin'! Nothin' like the great outdoors to strengthen the bond between a father and his son.
Goofy
Oh, Max would never go for anything like that.
Pete
I don't know, Goof. Somethin's wrong when a kid won't spend time with his parents. For all you know, he's runnin' around with some gang and stealin' stuff and causin' riots, and...
Goofy
Oh, Max is a good kid. He'd never get mixed up in somethin' like that.
Goofy
[hands Max his discarded possum hat]
Hey, you dropped your hat.
Max
[huffs in extreme fury]
This is the stupidest vacation! Ya drag me from home! Ya jam me in this dumb car, [rolls his window down] then drive 1,000,000 miles away, and see some stupid rat show! [tosses his hat out the window] Call me when the trip's over.
Max
[the car is going out of control, and Max and Goofy are trying to stop it]
You shoulda put the brake on!
Goofy
[he pulls Goofy into the car]
Why don'tcha just put it on yourself?!
Max
[he pulls the brake, but it suddenly breaks off with a "BOING!"]
See? You ruin everything!
Goofy
Well, you ruined the vacation!
Max
I ruined it?!
Max
[the car goes crashing on rock pillars]
I never... wanted to go... on this stupid... VACATION!!!!!!
[the car splashes into the river]
Max
[the car has landed in the stream with the Goofs inside]
Now look where you got us, Dad!
Goofy
Where I got us?!
Max
You should've let me stay at home!
Goofy
Why? So you'd end up in prison?
Max
Prison?! What're you talkin' about?!
Goofy
Your principal called me.
Max
It's not what you think!
Goofy
You even lied to me!
Max
I had to! You were ruining my life!
Goofy
I was only trying to take my boy fishin', okay?!
Max
I'm not your little boy anymore, Dad! I'm grown up! I've got my own life now!
Goofy
I know that! I just wanted to be part of it! You're my son, Max. No matter how big ya get, you'll always be my son.
[The 1990 Walt Disney Pictures logo appears. When the logo disappears, it fades to open on a sky blue screen shows "WALT DISNEY PICTURES presents" which changes to "A MOVIE". Goofy falls down while shrieking a familiar holler and a loud crash as a “GOOFY" sign appears on screen, to reveal a title logo: "A GOOFY MOVIE", the camera pans down to show a wind blown wheat field with a beautiful blue sky and cotton puff clouds]
Roxanne
Max... Max... Max...
Max
[appears close up and gasps at the sound of his name. He looks around for the source, finally squinting into the audience. The camera reverses viewpoint to show a tall pedestal with a female figure on top. Max begins to run through the wheat toward it. Finally reaching the clearing in the wheat, Max can now see who is on the pedestal clearly, a beautiful girl, in Max's age]
Roxanne? [A girl, named Roxanne, is holding a white dandelion and she gently blows the seeds toward Max. Max is mesmerized by the seeds. Roxanne leaps from atop the pedestal and gracefully glides down toward Max. Max attempts to catch her, but they end up falling down on the ground. They giggle for a while, then look at each other. Max sighs. Roxanne puckers her lips for a kiss. Suddenly the sky changes to overcast gray and the wheat changes to thorns. Roxanne gasps and draw away, shocked. The camera switches to Max, who now has incredibly large buck teeth] What's wrong? [notices his teeth. Then his ears and his hand grow. Roxanne backs off, terrified. Max's feet grow so big they burst out of his shoes and he continues to grow and change until he looks exactly like his father, Goofy. Roxanne screams. Max feels a Goofy laugh force its way out of his throat like the howl of a werewolf]
Max
[Lightning flashes as the scene cuts at Max's bedroom. Max awakes from sleep, screams and gasps repeatedly, checks his head and his teeth and sighs when he realizes it was just a scary dream. The Mickey Mouse-themed phone rings] [picks up the receiver and answers it]
Hello? Hello?
PJ
[on phone]
Max? Where the heck are you, man?
Max
PJ?
PJ
[on phone]
You should have been here an hour ago!
Max
What? What are you... Hold on. [hits his alarm clock which was showing 4:02. The numbers spin then show 7:50] Oh, no! [leaps out of bed and begins to dress while still on the phone and puts on his pants]
PJ
[on phone]
Look, maybe we should just call the whole thing off!
Max
No way, man! It's now or never!
PJ
[on phone]
Well, you better get a move on! I'll meet you at my locker!
Goofy
[Max hangs up the phone] [open the door to Max's room, dressed in his green hat, orange top, purple vest, blue pants and brown shoes and has a vacuum cleaner with him]
Morning, son!
Max
[embarrassed]
DAD!!! [yanks up his pants out of embarrassment]
Goofy
Oops! I forgot. [shuts door, knocks, then opens it again] Morning, son! I came to see if you had any dirty clothes...
Max
[grabs his shirt and puts it on]
Well, there they are! Help yourself!
Goofy
[notices that then entire floor is covered with dirty clothes]
Max! I thought we talked about this.
Max
[puts on his shoes]
Yeah, look, I'm sorry, Dad. I'll take care of it later!
Goofy
What's the big rush?
Max
[grabs his baseball hat, shades and his backpack]
I'm running late.
Goofy
[begins to vacuum up the dirty clothes]
Well, I could drive you on my way to work.
Max
Uh, no thanks. I need the exercise.
Goofy
Aw, come on, Max! [accidentally allows the vacuum nozzle to get too close to a cardboard cut out of a singing rock star and The head of it gets sucked in]
Max
DAD! [grabs the cut out, while Goofy holds the vacuum, turns off the vacuum and extracts the cut out, which has been curled in a couple of places; enraged] Aw, Dad! You ruined it!
Goofy
[apologizes to Max]
Sorry about that. Who was he, anyway?
Max
It's only Powerline, Dad. The biggest rock star on the planet.
Goofy
Oh, not bigger than Xavier Cugat, The Mambo King! Everybody mambo! Mambo, mambo, mambo!
Max
Dad! Aw, come on, there's no time for this! What if the neighbors see us, huh? [extracts himself from Goofy and dashes out the door]
Goofy
[The camera switches to the front of the house. Max has exited out the front door] [comes around from the back]
Maxie! Wait up! You forgot your lunch! Have a good day! [kisses Max]
Max
[A few skateboarders passing by see it and start laughing] [singing]
They've been laughing since I can remember, but they're not gonna laugh anymore! No more "Maxie the geek"! No more "Goof of the week" like before!
Girl tearing up test
[singing]
No more algebra tests 'til September!
Boy
[singing]
No more looking at losers like him!
Bully with crib notes on arm
[singing]
No more having to cheat!
Another Bully
[singing]
No more mystery meat!
Boy
[singing]
No more gym!
Another Boy
[singing]
No more gym!
Yet Another Boy
[singing]
No more gym!
Yet Another Another Boy
[shouting]
No more gym!
Girl with credit cards
[singing]
Gonna move to the mall!
Beach Boy
[singing]
Gonna live in the pool!
Max
[singing]
Gonna talk to Roxanne and not feel like a fool!
All
[singing]
'Cause after today I'm gonna be cruising!
Max
[singing]
After today she'll be mine!
All
[singing]
After today my brains'll be snoozing!
Max
[singing]
If I don't faint, I'll be fine!
Twin Girls
[singing]
I've got forty more minutes of Home Economics!
Twin Boys
[singing]
Then down with the textbooks...
Nerdy Boys
[singing]
And up with the comics!
Max
[singing]
Just think of all of the time I've been losing, finding the right thing to say!
All
[singing]
But things'll be going my way, after today!
Max
[waves, but Roxanne does not see him, singing]
She looked right through me! And who could blame her? I need a new me, plus some positive proof that I'm not just a goof! And...
All
[singing]
After today I'm gonna be cruising!
Two Girls in black
[singing]
No more pep rallies to cut!
All
[singing]
After today my brains'll be snoozing!
Bus Driver
[singing]
I'm gonna sit on my butt!
Max
[singing]
I've got less than an hour and when this is ended, I'll either be famous... [slides down the banister and accidentally bumps into Principal Mazur]
Principal Mazur
[shakes his fist, singing]
Or you'll be suspended!
All
[singing]
Just think of all of the time I've been losing, waiting until I could say: Gonna be on my own, kiss the parents good-bye! Gonna party from now 'til the end of July! Things'll be going my way after today!
Max
[school bell rings] [singing]
I wish that this was the day after today! [starts to step down, but trips and tumbles down, falling flat on his face at the bottom, losing his hat and shades]
Roxanne
[Students laugh at him then walk away] [comes over and helps him up]
Are you all right?
Max
[puts on his hat and shades]
Yeah, yeah, I'm OK, I just ah, duh,... [starts laughing, the emits a Goofy "Uhyuck!", covers his mouth and dashes away, accidentally tripping over some garbage cans. He looks back at Roxanne for a moment, then runs away with an cry of anguish]
[Roxanne looks down at the ground for a moment]
Goofy
[A photo studio a rubber duck and making baby sounds]
A-hyuck! Come on, smile! Smiley wiley! Aw, come on, Kimmie! Gimme a big... [A baby girl named Kimmie. He squeezes a rubber ducky, the squeaker on the rubber ducky pops out which caused Goofy to choke and accidentally swallows it, squeaks when he tried to speak. Kimmie likes it and breaks into a big smile. Goofy takes advantage of this to begin taking pictures and playing peekaboo with the child]
Pete
[furiously come up behind Goofy, angrily slaps him on the back and knocks the squeaker out of Goofy's throat]
Stop goofing around! We got work to do!
Goofy
OK, Kimmie, back to Mommy, now. A-hyuck! You're such a cute little girlie. Oh, come back and see me!
Kimmie's mother: Oh, you have such a way with children!
Pete
[angrily mocks Kimmie's mother]
You have such a way with children! Pleh!
Goofy
[approaches a little girl and her mother; the little girl is wearing a blue dress and hairbow and black Mary Janes. A waiting for a picture]
OK, now! Who's next over he...
Pete
[grabs Goofy out of his way]
Step aside, Goof. Let a pro show ya how it's done. OK! Who's next over here? Heh, heh! Oh, hello precious... [A little girl kicks Pete in the knee] D'oh! Ow! You lucky woman! Now-now, now you come on here, honey! It's picture time! She's so cute!
Little girl
[giggles and hides]
Peekaboo! Peekaboo!
Goofy
Gosh, Pete. You sure are good with kids.
Pete
Oh, yeah. Well, they love me. Why, PJ, he's been begging me to take him on vacation this summer.
Goofy
Really? Where you going?
Pete
Camping! Nothing like the great outdoors to strengthen the bond between a father and a son. [puts the sitting stamp on the little girl's butt]
Goofy
Oh, Max would never go for anything like that. [gives a stuffed deer to the little girl]
Pete
I don't know, Goof. Something's wrong when a kid won't spend time with his parents. For all you know, he's running around with some gang and stealing stuff and causing riots and... [takes little girl's toy deer away from her]
Little girl
Wah! Give me, give me, give me.
Goofy
Oh, Max is a good kid. He'd never get mixed up in something like that.
Max
[With a loud boom, the scene cuts to the main office of the high school, where Max and Bobby and sitting, waiting their turn to speak with the Principal. Miss Maples, a secretary, is typing and humming the funeral march] [depressed]
I'm a failure--complete loser! My one chance to impress Roxanne and I blew it.
Bobby
[reveals something he has been working on for a while]
Uh, huh! Max! Look! It's the leaning tower of cheeza! [stuffs the cheese in his mouth]
PJ
[comes out of the Principal’s office with a vacant look on his face]
Oh, man! My dad is gonna smash me like a bug!
Bobby
Hey, PJ! Detention! [laughs jokingly]
Principal Mazur
Robert Zimmeruski.
Bobby
[nervously calls Principal Mazur]
OK, I'm coming! Max, here. [hands Max can of cheese] Guard this with your life, dude. [wheels the dolly of video equipment into Principal Mazur's office and gives Max a double thumbs up] Hey, Principal Mazur! What's up, bro!
Stacey
[The door to Principal Mazur's office shuts. Max puts his head in his hands. Roxanne and Stacey come by the office] [fading]
...with all those kids in my house the place will be like a sauna so I'm all freaked out, but then I thought, "Like, use it!" So my theme's gonna be: "Powerline Goes Rain Forest"! Too much? Roxanne, are you listening?
Stacey
[Roxanne looks at Max]
Ahhh!
Roxanne
No, I don't wanna...
Stacey
[whispers]
Talk to him! [Roxanne clears her throat a couple of times] Tap him!
Max
[Roxanne taps Max who immediately sits up, startled. Roxanne's books and papers go flying] [looks at Roxanne and smiles, gets up out of the chair then starts to help Roxanne pick up the papers and books]
Gosh, I'm sorry.
Roxanne
It's OK. Really. [Max and Roxanne reach for the same paper at the same time and Max's hand touches hers. They stay that way for a moment, then Max withdraws his hand, a bit embarrassed] Um, I liked your dance.
Max
Yeah. Yeah? Uh, yeah! It's from Powerline's new video!
Roxanne
I know! He's totally a genius!
Max
Uh, yeah! He, he's doing a concert next week in Los Angeles!
Roxanne
Oh, yeah! Stacey is showing it at her party.
Max
Yeah!
Roxanne
Yeah!
Max
[fidgets and fumbles for a while]
Um, uh, Roxanne, I was, uh, sorta kinda thinking that maybe I'd ask you to go with me that is to the party. Of course if you don't want to I'd completely understand!
Roxanne
Well, I was, sorta kinda thinking that ... I'd love to!
Max
Yeah?
Roxanne
Yeah!
Max
Good!
Roxanne
Great!
Max
Terrific!
Roxanne
Wonderful!
Max
All right!
Roxanne
OK!
Stacey
[grabs Roxanne's arm and beings to drag her away]
Come on, Roxanne. We don't wanna belabor the moment now, do we?
Roxanne
Well, I'd better be going.
Max
I'll call you later!
Roxanne
OK! Bye! [backs into the door. Giggles nervously, then with a final "Bye." leaves the office]
Stacey
See? That wasn't so bad! I told you men are easy to deal with!
Max
Yes! She said yes! Woo hoo hoo hoo! Everybody mambo! [grabs Miss Maples and begins to mambo with her]
Miss Maples
It's not my break yet!
Bobby
Yeah! Dance with her! Groove with her!
Principal Mazur
[enraged]
Miss Maples! Get that boy's father on the phone at once!
Miss Maples
[sing-songish]
Yes sir! Right away, sir!
Goofy
[The scene cuts to Goofy answering the phone at the Discount Store]
Hello.
Principal Mazur
Uh, yes, Mr. Goof. This is Principal Mazur. I'm calling in regard to your son, Maximillian.
Goofy
Max? Oh my gosh! Is he hurt?
Principal Mazur
No, Mr. Goof. [enraged] He's in trouble!
Goofy
Trouble? What kinda trouble?
Principal Mazur
Dressed like a gang member. Your son caused the entire student body to break into a riotous frenzy!
Goofy
Gang member? Riot? It couldn't be my...
Principal Mazur
[ticked off]
If I were you, Mr. Goof, I'd seriously re-evaluate the way you're raising your child, before he ends up IN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR! [angrily hangs up the phone]
Goofy
The electric chair? [lets the phone drop] What am I gonna do? [bathed in a beam of blue light]
PA
Blue light special on aisle 3. Blue light special on aisle 3.
Goofy
[bobs the head of one of the figures, which bounces around a while]
Lake Destiny.
Pete
[The scene cuts to Pete with the camera, with the little girl's picture taking all set]
OK, kiddo, now smile!
Goofy
[interrupts Pete's picture taking]
Lake Destiny, Idaho!
Pete
Lake Destiny, Idaho?
Goofy
You were right, Pete. Nothing like the great outdoors to strengthen the bond between father and son! You said so yourself!
Pete
Well, yeah, but, ah...
Goofy
[takes off his hat and dances away, then puts it back on]
I'm going fishing! I'm going fishing with my boy!
Pete
Yah! OK, precious, give me a big smi... [sees the little girl's underwear still attached to the sitting stamp; he realizes that the little girl has gotten out of the sitting spot to avoid having her picture taken]
Little girl
[giggles as she runs after Goofy; the little girl's butt is now nude]
Fishy! Fishy!
Boy
[The scene cuts to front of high school. The final bell rings and students come dashing out. Max walks out with a smile on his face and a vacant look]
Cool concert, lad!
Max
What?
Another Boy
You wailed, bud!
Girl
Hey, Max. Wicked dance!
Max
Thanks!
Stacey
[comes by and pushes the girl away]
Forget it, girl. He's Roxanne's.
PJ
Way to go, man! I just heard about you and Roxanne! You stud!
Max
Oh, PJ!
PJ
See? See? I told you our plan would work! [chanting] Max! Max!
Max
PJ, knock it off! Shhh!
Bobby
Maximum! Maximum!
Cheerleaders
Max! Max! Max!
Max (as Tevin Campbell)
[More and more students join in the chant until the entire student body is chanting "Max! Max!" Max is pleasantly shocked. He dances his way home, grabs a skateboard with his arm pads and legs helmet] [lip synching]
All I need is half a chance, a second thought, a second glance will prove I got whatever it takes. It's a piece of cake. To stand out above the crowd. Even if I gotta shout out loud. 'Til mine is the only face you'll see. Gonna stand out. Stand out, hey. Stand out. (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah) Stand Out. 'Til mine is the only face you'll see. Gonna stand out so you notice me. [kicks the gate of his home open and walks through] Going somewhere, Pop?
Goofy
Sure are, Pal-a-roony!
Max
Cool. Well, have a good time, Dad. If you're gonna be gone more than a month, drop me a line.
Goofy
[puts the stuff in his car]
But Max, this isn't just my vacation. It's a vacation with me and my best buddy!
Max
Oh, Donald Duck?
Goofy
No, silly. With you! [Max gets shocked, drops his skateboard, and faints] Are you OK, Maxie?
Max
Wha..What did you say? [gets up]
Goofy
I'm going on vacation with you, Maxie. [hugs Max]
Max
[annoyed]
I think I'm gonna be sick.
Goofy
Hey! Got a present for ya!
Max
[as Goofy puts a life vest on him]
Dad! Stop! I can't do it!
Goofy
[pulls a cord and the vest inflates]
You look just like I did at your age!
Max
[gets worried]
Please don't say that, Dad.
Goofy
Wait! I saved the best for last! [laughs] It's been handed down from Goof to Goof to Goof! And now, it's yours, son.
Max
A stick?
Goofy
[reveals a fishing pole]
No, silly. A fishing pole!
Max
[shocked and annoyed]
Fishing? We're going fishing?
Goofy
Yup, just like my dad and me did! Two best buddies fishing on Lake Destiny, away from it all!
Max
[stubbornly tells Goofy off]
I don't wanna be away from it all, Dad! I like it all!
Goofy
[shows Max a map]
Hey, look, Maxie! We're using the same map me and my dad used. We'll take the same route and make the same stops and see the same sights...
Max
[shocked]
But that trip would take weeks, Dad!
Goofy
Exactly! Getting there's half the fun!
Max
[angrily pushes the map away]
Put the map away, Dad. It's not gonna happen, I'm telling you, it's not...
Goofy
[puts the map back on the car]
Careful, son! You'll wrinkle my past and our future! What the map says, Max, we will follow!
Max
That's very mystical and everything, Dad, but, uh... seriously, there's this party I have to go to...
Goofy
Oh, there'll be plenty of time for parties when you're older, Maxie. Why, when I was your age, I'd never even been invited to a party and look at me now! [holds his hat]
Max
Great, Dad.
Goofy
[opens car door]
Hop in, Maxie!
Max
[angrily closes the car door]
No.
Goofy
[thinks for a second, then starts to feel very sad]
All right, then. Guess I'll just have to go all alone. That's all. Just sit in the boat all alone and talk to myself all alone.
Max
I guess so.
Goofy
[frustratedly opens the car door]
Aw, come on, hop in!
Max
[angrily shuts it]
No, Dad.
Goofy
[frustratedly opens it]
Just hop right in there!
Max
[angrily shuts it]
NO!
Goofy
[frustrated]
Come on, Maxie! Go for it! [calmly] We're ready for take off! [goes around to his door and gets in] Set for adventure, Maxie?
Max
[frustrated]
Why are you doing this to me, Dad?
Goofy
'Cause, I don't want ya to end up in the electric chair!
Max
The electric chair? What are you...
Goofy
I'm not giving up on ya, son. Together, we're gonna work this out.
Max
Work this out? But, Dad...
Goofy
[holds his hand to stop Max from speaking]
No buts about it, Maxie Boy! Your ol' pop knows best. [starts the car and back out] Goodbye, house. Goodbye, mailbox! [accidentally runs over his fence while turning into the street] Goodbye, pile of broken wood.
Max
Goodbye, hopes. Goodbye, dreams. Goodbye, Roxanne. Roxanne! Dad, I gotta stop somewhere first. I have to talk to someone!
Goofy
Well... [Max grabs the steering wheel and the car swerves down a side street. After knocking over a few things, the car stops in front of Roxanne's house and gets out of the car] Now make it quick, Maxie boy. We gotta put some road behind us.
Max
[walks up to the front door]
You get to cancel your first date in less than an hour. [rings the doorbell] Must be some kind of lame-o record. [The door opens to reveal a rather mean looking person who growls at Max. It's Roxanne's father] Hi! Is Roxanne home? Uh, my name is Max. Does Roxanne live here? Does she even live on this block?
Roxanne
Wait! It's OK, Daddy. Max is a friend from school. Go on. Go on. Good Daddy. Hey, Max. You wanna have a seat?
Roxanne
[Roxanne's father lovingly pats Roxanne and growls at Max again. Max mumbles something. Roxanne's father peeks through the mail slot]
Daddy! [Roxanne's father eventually goes away and lets Roxanne have her private time with Max] I promise he'll be better behaved when you pick me up for the party.
Max
Yeah, that's, uh, sorta why I came by.
Roxanne
I'm really looking forward to it, Max.
Max
Yeah, I was, too.
Roxanne
Was?
Max
Well, you see my dad’s on this stupid father/son kick, and...
Roxanne
Oh, don't worry about it, Max. It's just a dumb party.
Max
No, it's not! Roxanne, I really wanted to go with you. I...
Roxanne
No, Max, I understand. Really, it's OK, these things happen...
Max
My dad surprised me, I don't even wanna go, but I have no choice.
Roxanne
I'm sure I can find someone else.
Max
Someone else?
Roxanne
I'll just talk to you later.
Max
[thinking quickly]
Um, uh, Roxanne, my dad’s taking me to the Powerline concert in Los Angeles!
Roxanne
Your dad’s taking you clear across the country just to see a concert?
Max
Uh... well - you see, my dad knows Powerline! They used to play together in a band! Yeah!
Goofy
Come on, son! Let's get this show on the road!
Max
Just a minute, you party animal, you.
Roxanne
[Goofy grins]
You're really serious!
Max
Absolutely. So you aren't still thinking of going with someone else, are you?
Roxanne
Well, I guess...
Max
Because, I was hoping I could, uh, wave to you on-stage when we join Powerline for the final number.
Roxanne
This is incredible!
Max
Well - I wouldn't miss our date for anything that wasn't incredible, Roxanne.
Roxanne
[kisses Max on the cheek]
Have a great time at the concert, Max. I'll see you on TV!
Max
I'm in deep sludge.
Goofy
[The scene fades to Max and Goofy, leaving the city. Goofy is driving and running a video camera at the same time]
Day one: Well, here we are, out on the open road! Retracing the steps of my boyhood and here's Maxie! Say, "Hi", Max! [Max doesn't respond] Well, how 'bout a wave?
Max
[puts his hand in front of the lens]
Not now, dad.
Goofy
[puts the camera down, then notices that Max look really depressed]
What a kidder! [gets an idea and takes out a list from one of his pockets] Hmmm. Fun and games I used to play with my dad. Road bingo... Twenty q---- [to Max] Hey, Maxie! Uh, let's play a game. You think of a name and I'll try and guess who it is. Uh, man or woman?
Max
[disgusted]
Oh, man!
Goofy
Man, huh? Hmmm. That's a toughie! Uh, let's see... Walt Disney!
Max
Right.
Goofy
I'm good at this. Now, I'll think of one. Hmm... [Max turns on the radio which plays Santa Monica by Everclear and starts doing air guitar] Oh, you wanna sing a song, huh? Me and my dad used to sing this one all the time! [puts in an 8-track tape which interrupts the rock music and starts playing "High Hopes". Goofy sings along] He's got high hopes! He's got high apple pie in the sky hopes!
Max
[Max changes back to Santa Monica. Goofy changes back to High Hopes. It goes back and forth until they break the radio] [fed up with Goofy]
Oh, great, Dad! Now we don't have any music!
Goofy
Oh, Maxie, it's not so bad. We'll just have to entertain ourselves!
Goofy
[The beat is established by the car keys; one of them contains the letter D. The car backfiring joins in. The cooking equipment also joins in. Goofy starts to whistle the tune] [singing]
Do ya need a break from modern living? Do ya long to shed your weary load? If your nerves are raw and your brain is fried, just grab a friend and take a ride together upon the open road! [spoken] Come on, Maxie!
Max
[singing]
All in all, I'd rather have detention. All in all, I'd rather eat a toad. An old man drives that's such a klutz that I'm about to hurl my guts directly upon the open road!
Goofy
[singing]
There's nothing can upset me 'cause now we're on our way! Our trusty map will guide us straight and true!
Max
[singing]
Roxanne please don't forget me, I will return some day. Though I may be in traction when I do!
Goofy
[Wilhelm screams] [singing]
Me and Max relaxing like the old days! In a buddy-buddy kind of mode!
Max
[singing]
This is worse than dragon breath and acne! I'm so mad I think I may explode!
Goofy
[singing]
When I see that highway I could cry!
Max
[singing]
You know, that's funny, so could I!
Both
[singing]
Just being out on the open road!
CW Girls in pickup
[a piano player appears on the open road; the piano player is in a pickup truck; a trio of cowgirl singers pop out of the piano] [singing]
Howdy boys! Is this the way to Nashville?
Tow Truck driver
[singing]
Watch it, Mack! Or you'll be getting towed!
Con in paddy wagon
[singing]
I'm in no hurry to arrive 'cause I'll be turning sixty-five, the next time I sees the open road. [Goofy sees the jailbird and imagines Max as a jailbird, reminding him of Principal Mazur's warning as he escapes from the worse]
Wendell
[singing]
Just a week of rest and relaxation.
Wendell's Wife: Yeah!
Wendell
And the odd romantic episode!
Max
[spoken]
Very odd!
Mickey Mouse
[Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck are hitchhiking] [singing]
And it's Californ-eye-ay or bust!
Little Old Lady From Pasadena
[singing]
Look out you dirtbags! Eat my dust! From now on, I own the open road!
Goofy
[singing]
It's me and little Maxie, my pip-squeak pioneer!
Nuns
[singing]
They're pardners forever "Westward Ho!" [spoken] Yee-haw!
Max
[singing]
Could someone call a taxi and get me outta here, to Beverly Hills 90210?
All
[singing]
Oh, every day another new adventure! Every mile another new zip code! And the cares we had are gone for good!
Max
[singing upon seeing a carsick man]
And I'd go with them if I could.
All
[singing]
I got no strings on me! I'm feeling fancy free! How wonderful to be on the open road!
[one of the cooking equipments gets knocked off]
[The scene fades to the next day. Goofy is driving with the map in front of him so he can't see. Max is moping. The car drifts left of the center. Max glances up and sees a truck coming as his expression changes to concern. The truck horn blows. Max looks alarmed. The truck horn blows again. Max grabs the steering wheel and turns the car back into the right lane just as the truck goes by and would have run into him, his dad, and the car]
Max
[ticked off]
Dad, you're gonna get us killed! Why don't you just give me the map?
Goofy
Oh, no thanks, son. Navigating's a big responsibility! Besides, you wouldn't wanna spoil the big surprise. I'm taking ya someplace pretty special! [Goofy and Max pull into a rather seedy looking attraction called Lester's Possum Park and stop] Gawrsh! It's even better than I remembered!
Little girl
[The scene cuts to a mother attempting to drag her little daughter through the entrance to the park, which resembles the mouth of a possum]
No! Mommy! I don't wanna go!
Max
[not interested]
Yeah, fun. Tell ya what: I'm just gonna wait right here in the car.
Goofy
[grabs Max and drags him]
Ya party pooper! Come on! This is gonna be fun!
Possum Park Emcee
[The scene cuts to the interior of a small old theater]
Howdy there, folks. Lester's is proud to present the Possum Posse Jamboree. Here it is.
Goofy
[Several patrons clap for the show as Goofy and Max enter]
Oh, boy! Just in time!
Lester
[The curtain opens and shows four holes in the ground. Out of one of the holes comes a mechanical possum named Lester which has obviously seen better days]
Howdy, folks! Who's your favorite possum?
Patrons
Lester!
Goofy
I got us a seat right up front!
Lester
Let me introduce you to the posse! Here's Buford, Beulah and Mordechai!
Buford
[stuck in his hole]
Hey, Lester, ready for yodeling?
Lester
Sure am, Buford. [singing] Now gather 'round, my possum pals and join the jamboree.
Max
This is pathetic! [A pigtailed girl smiles at Max]
Lester
[singing]
Come hoot 'n' howl 'n' holler from the heart and every chicken, pig, 'n' goat'll help by yelping out a yodel here at Lester's Possum Park! [speaking] Join in, folks! It's yodeling time!
Lester
[Many patrons join in the yodeling including Goofy. Max just looks disgusted] [singing]
Lester's Possum Park.
Lester
[Max is getting more and more disgusted at the show] [singing]
Well don't you wanna be, a'hanging from a tree? We're mighty glad to see ya and the parking's always free! [begins to break down] Here at Lester's Possum Park!
Goofy
[sees a souvenir stand and gets an idea]
Hey! That's the ticket! I'll be right back, my little possum pal!
Max
[sighs]
My life's a living.
Lester
Hello, little buddy! Who's your favorite possum?
Max
[getting annoyed]
Don't touch me.
Lester
Aw, why such a long face? You're so sad! Boo hoo hoo! I know! You need a big hug from Lester.
Max
[angrily gives Lester a warning with his finger]
Don't even think about it...!
Lester
[gives Max a giant hug which ticks him off]
See? Now you feel all good inside!
Max
[angrily slaps Lester which turns his false head backward]
Beat it, doofus! [Lester staggers off unable to see where he is going and is knocked down and dragged off by several kids] Oh no, no, Dad! Not that, please!
Goofy
[comes back wearing a dead possum hat and puts one on Max]
Here ya go, sport! Let's say we get our picture taken!
Max
[The scene cuts to the little pigtailed girl crying while her picture is taken]
You have got to be kidding.
Goofy
Oh, all right. But you're missing out! [foolishly hangs upside down between two possums to get his picture taken] Hiya, son! [A lot of people laughing]
Kid
Hey, everyone! Check out the dork!
Photographer
Say, "sassafras".
Goofy
Sassyfrass! [The branch breaks and Goofy falls to the ground. This sends one of the two possums hurdling toward Max and it hits him in the face. The possum then crawls down Max's sweatshirt. Max beings to jump around in an attempt to get at the possum. A couple of musicians start playing country music, mistaking Max's gyrations for an attempt at dance] That's the spirit, Maxie! [grabs Max and starts dancing with him]
Max
[embarrassed]
Dad, stop, please! Dad, look, this is embarrassing!
Goofy
[finally finished the dance with Max on his knee]
Ta-da! Hyuck!
Kid
It's Dork and Dork Junior!
Goofy
[Max gets ticked off and takes the hat off his head, furiously throws it to the ground and angrily fights his way out of the crowd. He furiously goes to the car only to find it locked. He angrily pounds his fists on the door just as it starts to rain. He furiously walks to the highway and angrily starts hitchhiking. A passing car sprays him with water, but he angrily continues to hitchhike] [comes out]
Max! Hey, what the heck you trying to do?
Max
Trying to get away from you! [furiously leaves the highway and angrily goes back to the car]
Goofy
Me? What'd I do?
Max
Forget it!
Goofy
I thought we was having fun. What's the matter?
Max
Nothing. Let's just go. Well, come on!
Goofy
[sadly unlocked the door and Max gets in, goes around and gets in too, then hands Max the hat he threw away which infuriates him]
Oh, you dropped your hat.
Max
[furiously blows up, screams in frustration, angrily yells at Goofy, and furiously takes his hat, but lividly rolls down the window, and angrily throws the hat away again]
This is the stupidest vacation! You drag me from home, you jam me in this dumb car, then drive me a million miles away to see some stupid rat show! Call me when the trip's over. [Goofy sadly starts the car and drives off]
Goofy
[The scene fades to a campground, where Goofy is setting up a tent and Max is sitting on a rock by a river. He is stirring the water with a stick. In the ripples, he imagines he sees the face of Roxanne. Suddenly, Goofy steps in the middle of her image]
Hey, Max. You wanna get in some fishing practice? Just a couple of days 'til we get to Lake Destiny.
Max
Maybe later. [wanders off]
Goofy
[sadly returns to the tent and begins to unroll a sleeping bag. While in the tent, a huge RV rolls over the top of the tent and proceeds to produce a hot tub, a basketball court, a bowling alley and a swimming pool]
Max
[comes back to see what's happening]
Whoa! Now that's camping!
Goofy
You say something, Max? [gets hit by a door of RV] Ow! Pete?
Pete
Goofy? What a serendipity do dah! Who'da thunk it, huh?!
Max
Is PJ here?
Pete
Who? Oh, yeah. I'm sure he's loafing around here somewhere.
Max
[The scene cuts to the inside of the RV. PJ is buffing the floor and dusting while listening to Powerline on the stereo. He is singing along]
What a goob! [turns off the stereo]
PJ
[begins treating the buffer like a microphone, still singing]
Stand out! Above the crowd! Even if you got to shout out loud! No matter what you look it's Max I get... [spoken] Max!
Max
Hey-hey-hey!
PJ
Woah! Small wilderness, dude! Didn't expect to run into you.
Max
Apparently not!
PJ
You're just jealous man, 'cause you ain't got the moves!
Max
Yeah, you can keep the moves. But I wouldn't mind having this RV. You're so lucky, man!
PJ
Me? Awww, come on! You're the star!
Max
What are you...
PJ
Going to the Powerline concert! Awww, it's unbelievable, man!
Max
Who told you about that?
PJ
Hey, come on! Everybody in town knows about it, Max. [discusses Max's alleged trip to the Powerline concert] You're gonna be famous, buddy. Especially with Roxanne.
Max
There's just one person who doesn't know about this, PJ.
PJ
Who?
Max
My dad.
Pete
[The scene cuts to the roof of the RV where Pete and Goofy are. Pete begins to go bowling]
So tell me, Goof. Is that kid of yours still giving you guff?
Goofy
Oh, I don't know what's wrong. Just seems like everything I try only drives Max further away. Maybe I oughta just back off, I don't know.
Pete
Wrong, Goof. Look, if you keep 'em under your thumb, they'll never end up in the gutter.
Goofy
Too bad, Pete. Almost.
Pete
[angrily looks at Goofy]
Almost? Hah! Watch this. [yelling loudly] PJ!!!
PJ
[runs up to the top of the RV]
Here, sir! Coming, sir! Yes, sir!
Pete
[points at the pin. PJ goes over and kicks it down]
Whoo-hoo! Strike-ola! Yee-haw! Thank you. Thank you. Yes! And the crowd goes wild! Ahh-ha-ha-ha! High five, son! Psych! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Say, Goof. Why don't you two stay for dinner?
Max
Cool!
Goofy
Oh, no thanks, Pete. Max and I have some fish to catch.
Max
[angrily sighs]
Dad, we can do that tomorrow. [to Pete] So what are we having?
Goofy
But Max, I thought...
Pete
[clears throat]
Under your thumb, Goof.
Goofy
[sternly confronts Max]
Maximilian!
Max
[annoyed]
What?
Goofy
[sternly orders Max]
Get your gear, little man! We're going fishing! [loudly shouts] And I mean NOW! [Max walks away]
Max
Dad, I don't even know how to fish.
Goofy
Oh, now come on. That never stopped me! Let me show ya a little family secret handed down through about twelve or thirteen Goof generations: The Perfect Cast.
Max
The Perfect What?
Goofy
The Perfect Cast. My dad taught it to me when I was about your age. OK now, watch carefully. You gotta be loose. Relaxed. With your feet apart, and... Ten o'clock. Two o'clock. Quarter to three! Tour Jete! Twist! Over! Pas de deux! I'm a little teapot! And the windup...!
[Goofy's line goes all the way back to where Pete is barbecuing steaks. The hook grabs a steak] And let 'er fly! [The Perfect Cast. The hook with the steak go sailing and land on the bank of the river a fair ways away in the middle of a large footprint. Two feet that match the footprint then come up. It's Bigfoot, who is holding a log. He chews on the log, but stops and sniffs, then sees the steak] And now, we reel 'er in. [Bigfoot is about to take the steak when Goofy starts to real it in. Bigfoot chases the steak and finally catches it. He bites it and is pulled by Goofy.] Quick! Get the camera! [They manage to get back to the bank and Max hands the camera to Goofy] Must be over three pounds! I don't wanna miss this! [Whispers] Look, Max!
Max
[Horrorly screams]
Uh, Dad, It's BIGFOOT!
Goofy
Could you back up a bit, Mr. Foot? Uh, you're out of focus. [Bigfoot ferociously roars at Goofy and Max. The steak sails back at Pete and hits him in the face]
Pete
[angrily pulls off the steak]
What's the idea? [sees Max and Goofy running from Bigfoot and screaming] BIGFOOT!!! [grabs the BBQ, throws it in the RV, retracts all the equipment attached to the RV and drives off, leaving Goofy's tent where it was]
Goofy
[runs backward getting Bigfoot on video]
Behold the legendary Bigfoot! Fabled but seldom... Whoa! [clumsily trips over the tent and the camera goes flying]
Max
[tries to get in the car]
It's locked!
Goofy
Quick! The sun roof! [starts rolling the window closed]
Max
Hurry up! Hurry up! [The window closes just as Bigfoot gets there. He rocks the car back and forth for a moment, then notices all the equipment Goofy had unpacked. He goes to investigate] I can't believe it... Bigfoot!
Goofy
And I've got the only video!
Max
We're gonna be famous! [disgusted] Let's just get outta here. [Goofy feels for the keys but Bigfoot has found them outside and tosses them away. Bigfoot has discovered the camera and is pulling the tape out in shreds. He then continues rummaging through their equipment. The scene fades to late evening. Goofy and Max are still in the car] Is he gone yet?
Goofy
[Bigfoot does a puppet show using socks. Then goes back to rummaging]
Nope. Still here. [Max's stomach growls] Gee, Max. Was that Bigfoot or your stomach?
Max
[feels his stomach]
Man, I'm starving!
Goofy
[A can of alphabet soup lands on the hood of the car]
Alphabet soup coming up! [rolls down the window and tries to grab the can]
Max
[Bigfoot hears and turns around, roars ferociously, starts coming toward the car and runs toward it]
Dad, stop playing around! He's coming! [grabs his father's hand and turns it so the can gets through]
Goofy
[Bigfoot crashes into the side of the car and is sent sprawling along with a lot of the equipment he dragged along. He lands and a pair of headphones lands on his head, which is playing "Stayin' Alive" by Bee Gees. Bigfoot is startled at first, then begins to enjoy it. The scene cuts to the inside of the car where Goofy has just taken the cigarette lighter out of the dashboard]
Well, it's nice to know this thing’s good for something. [balances the can of soup over the lighter]
Max
[While they wait for the soup to heat up, they sit. Bigfoot does the hustle in the background. Max and Goofy catch each other looking at the other and quickly look away. Goofy then smiles and starts to chuckle]
What's so funny?
Goofy
"Hi Dad" Soup!
Max
Huh?
Goofy
Don't tell me you don't remember "Hi Dad" Soup. Oh, come on! Sure you do! You used to spell things out using the letters, like, uh, "Hi Dad" or "Maxie" or...
Max
..."Ambidextrous"...
Goofy
Yeah, that's...Nah, little words, like...
Max
"Hasta la vista"?
Goofy
Like "Bye bye"!
Max
...or "I pledge allegiance"...
Goofy
...or "I love you"...
Max
[Both Max and Goofy suddenly look sad]
Is it soup yet?
Goofy
Oh, I almost forgot! [uses his teeth to create two holes in the top of the can]
Max
Woah! Where'd you learn to do that?
Goofy
Your granddad taught me that when we went to Yosemite.
Max
You two did a lot together, huh?
Goofy
Yup. [Now looks sad. Suddenly Goofy and Max talk simultaneously] Max, you and I have to...
Max
Dad, listen I have a...
Goofy
How’s the soup?
Max
[drinks and leaves a soup mustache on his upper lip]
Not bad. [sees his dad grinning] What?
Goofy
[Seeing Max with a mustache reminds Goofy of what Max was like as a little boy and just grins]
Nothing. [Bigfoot climbs on top of the car and settles down to sleep] Welp, might as well get some shut eye. I don't think we're going anywhere tonight. [gets comfortable. Max looks lovingly at his dad, then down at the remnants of the soup in his cup. He fiddles with something at the bottom. Max then taps his father and hands him the cup. Goofy looks at the bottom of the cup to see the words "Hi Dad" spelled out. Goofy gets choked up and looks over at Max, who is settling down to sleep]
Goofy
[whispering]
Hi, Maxie.
Max
[The scene fades to later that night. Both Bigfoot and Goofy are snoring. Max can't sleep because of the noise. So, he finds a postcard and begins to write] [writing]
Dear Roxanne, Couldn't sleep... so I thought I'd drop ya a line. Dad and I are having a great time. We're only days away from Los Angeles and I can hardly wait for the big concert. [stops writing and looks sad. Then looks over at Goofy]
Goofy
[in his sleep]
More Hi Dad Soup, please.
Max
[gets a half smile on his face looking at his dad, then decides to re-write the postcard]
Dear Roxanne, sorry I lied, but I'm not really going to the Powerline concert. You may never wanna see me again... [stops when he realizes that won't work either] Oh, man! I'm dead no matter what I do! [angrily stomps his foot on the dashboard. The glove compartment pops open and the map unfolds into his lap. He follows the route on it to Lake Destiny and then looks down to Los Angeles. A pencil rolls out of the glove compartment and conveniently stops, pointing from the route on the map directly to Los Angeles Max picks up the pencil then starts erasing. He then draws a new route to Los Angeles. The pencil tip breaks just before he finishes. Goofy yawns. Max breaks out in a cold sweat, picks up the pencil tip and finishes the drawing, puts the map back in the glove compartment and sits back nervously as Goofy seems to awaken]
Goofy
How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?
Max
Uh... three and a half? [Goofy goes back to sleep] [sighs, looks at the postcard and then tears it up, opens the car window and throws the pieces outside into the wind. The pieces are carried toward the camera. One piece gets caught in a branch close up, with the words, "I lied" written on it]
Cook
[The scene fades to a truck stop the next morning. The short order cook rings a bell on the order counter]
Pick up!
Waitress
Hold your horses! [picks up the food and carries it to Max and Goofy] Short stack?
Goofy
Right here!
Waitress
[gives the pancakes to Goofy]
Here you go, hon. Eggs? Eggs? Eggs!
Max
Oh! Oh! Yeah, yeah! Right here! Sorry.
Waitress
[gives the eggs and bacon to Max.]
Here you go, cutie.
Goofy
[The eggs and strip of bacon form a face. Goofy digs into his pancakes, then notices that Max, who was so hungry the night before is picking at his eggs and looking nervously at the map] [picks up the map, waving it at Max]
Max, I think we need to talk about this.
Max
Huh?
Goofy
Seems to me you need to start taking some responsibility around here. Excuse me. Uh, can I have your attention please? [clears throat] I, Goofy, hereby dub my son, Maximillian, official navigator and head which-wayer of this here road trip!
Max
Seriously?
Goofy
I'm not even looking at the map anymore. As a matter of fact, you can pick all the stops from here to Lake Destiny. I trust ya wholeheartedly, son. To the open road! [picks up his coffee cup]
Max
To the open road.
[With Goofy driving and Max navigating, they continue their journey, stopping at a beach, where Goofy has a terrible time with a jetski, they change a flat tire, at an amusement park Goofy can't stomach the roller coaster, at a monster truck rally where Goofy can't stand the noise. Max notices this and decides his dad needs something he likes, so their next stop is the amazing house of yarn--one of the stops on Goofy's map. A stop in New Orleans is next with an encounter with the mime. Goofy acts along with the mime, and later, a piano falls and lands right on top on the mime. They change another flat tire, they visit "Carl's Butt Caverns" and accidentally awaken the bats and speaking of bats then attend a baseball game where they get an autographed baseball by very unusual means, they change another flat tire and pull into the "Neptune Inn" motel for the night. They take a couple of suitcases and open the door to the room]
Goofy
Gosh!
Max
[notices the waterbeds with goldfish]
Whoa ho ho! Check out the bed!
Goofy
Check out the dresser--coral!
Max
[turns a mermaid lamp off and on]
Nice lamp!
Goofy
Classy choice there, navigator.
Pete
This is the police! We've got the place surrounded, see! You Goofs come out with your hands up! [starts laughing] You should've seen the look on your face!
Goofy
You really had him fooled, Pete!
Max
Me? You jumped out of your skin!
Goofy
Uh uh! I was just pretending for your sake!
Max
Oh, right! Sure!
Goofy
Did too!
Max
Did not!
Pete
Oh, ain't this sweet! [aside to Goofy] Don't let him fool you with that buddy-buddy act, now. Under your thumb! [thumbs Goofy's nose] So, since we're all being palsy-walsy here, how about letting me hook up the RV?
Goofy
Well...
Pete
Oh, it's just a tiny little extension cord. You'll hardly even notice it.
Goofy
OK.
Pete
Great! PJ!
Pete
[PJ comes in hauling an enormous array of ducts and cables. Pete points into the room. PJ hauls it all in]
Hey, Goof. Why don't ya order us a pizza? This might take a while.
PJ
[Goofy gets the pizza, then brings it in to PJ and Max]
...no I mean it, they...
Goofy
Here ya go, kids. I'm gonna go check out the hot tub.
PJ
Oh, OK, sir!
Max
All right.
PJ
I can't believe you, man. Whatever made you think your dad would fall for a stupid idea like that?
Max
It wasn't stupid!
PJ
Come on, it was really stupid! Changing the map?
Max
Look, I didn't know what I was doing, all right? I was panicked!
Pete
[Goofy gets in the hot tub and is joined shortly thereafter by Pete]
Taking a break from the MTV generation, huh? Can't say I blame ya. People are always putting too much water in these things. So, um... you and your son seem to be, uh, getting along just hunky-dory, huh?
Goofy
Yeah, it's been great! You know, it's funny, but none of your techniques worked for me. The harder I tried, the worse it got. Once I eased up, things just clicked!
Pete
Oh, that's swell. So, there's no problems then, huh?
Goofy
Not a one!
Pete
That's, uh I just hate to be the bearer of bad news, but uh...
Goofy
What is it, Pete?
Pete
Your kid's duping ya.
Goofy
What do you mean?
Pete
Well, I heard the little mutant telling PJ that he changed the map, so you're heading straight to Los Angeles, pal.
Goofy
What?
Pete
Oh, you tried, Goof. He's just a bad kid, that's all.
Goofy
I don't believe you.
Pete
What?
Goofy
I don't believe ya, Pete!
Pete
Well, hey, don't take my word for it. Check your map.
Goofy
I don't need to check the map. I trust my son. [with a quietly defiant mien] You know, maybe Max isn't all the things that you think a son should be, but he loves me.
Pete
Hey, my son (PJ) respects me.
Goofy
[listlessly]
Yeah. [walks away]
Pete
[calling after him]
Check the map, Goof!
Max
[Goofy walks back to the room, but decides to get in the car instead. He reaches for the glove compartment, then stop. He thinks, gets upset and angrily pounds the steering wheel and starts to get out. The glove compartment pops open and the map spills out. The scene cuts to an aerial shot of the motel with Goofy's car centered. Goofy goes back to the room]
Hi, dad. Sorry about the mess. I'll clean it up.
PJ
[Goofy looks absolutely dumbstruck and disillusioned. He gets in bed and turns off the light] [whispering]
I think I better go.
Max
[whispering]
See ya, PJ.
PJ
[whispering]
Don't forget Powerline!
Max
Shhh!
[Goofy still has that look of disillusionment and sadness as he lies in bed]
Goofy
[The shot twists and the scene fades to the next morning as Goofy is driving with the same look. He looks over at Max who nervously grins. A sign comes up showing a junction with only left and right turn] [grabs the map and gives it to Max]
Well, here ya go, navigator. Just follow my route on the map, son.
Max
OK.
Goofy
[They pass another sign pointing right to Idaho and left to California]
Here comes our junction. OK, Max, now this is it. Left or right?
Max
[nervously]
Uh...
Goofy
Come on, Max!
Max
LEFT! [The car scrapes the center divider as they barely make it up the left ramp. Max looks back, then sighs. Goofy looks annoyed. Max nervously smiles] Uh... how 'bout a song, Dad? A game? A game! Yeah! Yeah, a game! OK! Uh, man or woman? Man? Man! OK! Uh, Walt Disney! [Goofy angrily swerves the car to a scenic overlook and stops the car, lividly fumbles with the seat belt, furiously gets out and ragefully stomps over to the stone wall at the edge of the overlook, fuming] Dad... Listen, about my directions... Will you listen to me? I gotta tell you something, Dad.
Goofy
[sarcastically]
Why bother? I'm probably too stupid to understand anyway, right?
Max
Aw, forget it!
Max
[angrily kicks the tire and then leans on the hatchback. The car rolls forward and leaves him sprawling in the dirt]
Hey-hey-hey! The car!
Goofy
[turns around]
What? Now you wanna drive too?
Max
No, Dad! The car! [points at the car] LOOK!
Goofy
[shocked]
The car! [Max and Goofy chase their runaway car] What'd you do now, Max?!
Max
I didn't do anything, Dad! I only touched it!
Goofy
[The car goes under a low underpass and knocks their equipment off. Goofy steps on a skateboard and Max joins him. They catch up with the car] [manages to grab the door handle]
You locked it!
Max
[enraged]
I locked it? It's your door. You locked it!
Goofy
Well, you distracted me!
Max
You should've put the brake on! [pulls his father into the car]
Goofy
Why don't you just put it on yourself? [He pulls the brake, but it suddenly breaks off]
Max
See? You ruin everything!
Goofy
Well, you ruined the vacation!
Max
I ruined it?! [The car goes crashing from one rock pillar to another] I never wanted to go on this stupid VACATION! [The car splashes into the river. The car has landed in the stream with the Goofs inside] Now look where you got us, Dad!
Goofy
Where I got us?!
Max
You should have let me stay at home!
Goofy
Why? So you'd end up in prison?
Max
Prison? What are you talking about?
Goofy
Your principal called me!
Max
It's not what you think, Dad!
Goofy
You even lied to me!
Max
I had to! You were ruining my life!
Goofy
I was only trying to take my boy fishing, OK?!
Max
I'm not your little boy anymore, Dad! I'm grown up! I've got my own life now!
Goofy
I KNOW THAT! I just wanted to be part of it! [calmer] You're my son, Max. No matter how big ya get, you'll always be my son.
Max
[The car slowly drifts downstream and Goofy and Max sadly sit on the roof with their backs to each other. The sun breaks through the clouds and Max finally decides to break the silence] [singing]
There are times you drive me, shall we say, bananas... and your mind is missing, no offense, a screw...
Goofy
[spoken]
None taken!
Max
[singing]
Still, whatever mess I land in, who is always understanding? Nobody else but you!
Goofy
[singing]
Oh, you moodiness is now and then bewildering... and you values may be, so to speak, askew!
Max
[spoken]
Gesundheit!
Goofy
[spoken]
Thanks! [singing] Who deserves a hero's trophy as we face each catastrophe? Nobody else but you!
Both
[singing]
Nobody else but you! It's just our luck. We're stuck together! Nobody else but you! It's crazy enough to believe we'll come through!
Max
[singing]
So your jokes are all, let's face it, prehistoric!
Goofy
[singing]
And your music sounds like monkeys in a zoo!
Both
[singing]
But when life becomes distressing, who will I be S-O-S-ing?
Max
[singing]
If you're having trouble guessing here's a clue! 'Though he seems intoxicated, he's just highly animated! And he's nobody else but...
Both
[singing]
Nobody else but you! We've turned into a true blue duo! Hard times--we've had a few...
Goofy
[singing]
Like we're thrown in the drink...
Max
[singing]
Like we're tossed out of town...
Both
[singing]
But when I start to sink, hey, I'd rather go down with nobody else but you!
Max
[Goofy kisses Max] [spoken]
Aw, Dad!
Max
[The scene fades to further down river. Max has apparently explained everything he did and why]
...Well, anyway. I figure she's never gonna wanna talk to me again, much less go out with me. What a dumb lie, huh?
Goofy
Well, whaddya know. My Maxie -- in love! Gosh, you're really growing up! It happened so fast, I... guess I sort of missed it! Welp, I think the only thing for us to do now is to get you up on stage with this Powerline fellar.
Max
Uh, how are we gonna do that?
Goofy
Now, you just leave that up to me.
Max
No, Dad, really. I-I think we should just, you know, forget it.
Goofy
Now, how come you always think I'm gonna lead ya into some sort of calamity?
Max
[looks ahead, shocked]
Duh, duh, Dad?
Goofy
What's wrong now?
Max
[turns his dad’s head forward]
LOOK!
Goofy
[The car is approaching a high waterfall]
A waterfall. [panicked] WATERFALL?!?!
Max
[Goofy and Max attempt to paddle upstream and succeed only for a bit, but fail when the tide gets too much stronger. Goofy gets thrown from the car and grabs a rock. Max continues toward the falls on the car]
DAD!
Goofy
Max! [A fishing pole hits Goofy in the back of the head. Goofy grabs it and climbs over the rock formations trying to find a good place to try and reach for Max. He finally gets to a log and climbs to the end of it. He extends the pole toward Max] Grab a hold, Max!
Max
[Max obeys, tries to grab hold and misses the line, that is reaching out to him. The car goes over a rock in the river and flips over]
Whoa! [Goofy gasps as Max gets tangled in a tarp. He tries to stop the car from going over the falls by casting the line to it and succeeds for a moment. Then the force of the falls breaks the log and Goofy is dumped in the river and crashes into a rock. Max looks down and gasps. He and the car go over the falls, still entangled in the tarp. As he screams and falls, the tarp becomes a parachute and the updraft from the falls carries him up above the falls. Max then sees his father heading for the edge of the falls] Dad!
[With a final effort, Goofy extends the fishing pole still in his hand toward Max in the moment in which he would tumble helplessly down below. Max grabs the end. For a moment, the two are dangling above the falls. They give a happy look at each other. Ignoring the exchange, the cork handle of the fishing pole, which is not able to hold on much longer and due to the weight of Max and his parachute tarp, comes off and snaps with a loud pop as Goofy begins to fall]
Goofy
MAX!
Max
[almost without thinking and now remembering what his dad did at the fishing area, he spins the fishing pole around and starts doing the Perfect Cast and throws the line to his dad]
Ten o'clock. Quarter to three. Tour Jete. Twist. I'm a little teapot. Let 'er fly! [The fishing line flies toward the retreating figure of Goofy, who screams while falling down. Both are soon lost in the mist at the base of the falls. Max begins to worry that he is too late. Then the line goes taut. Max gasps and begins to get pulled down, but starts reeling in the line. Soon, the figure of his father can be seen, hooked by the seat of his pants. Max, relieved, reels Goofy in all the way. Goofy with tears in his eyes knows how his son saved him]
Goofy
The Perfect Cast.
Max
[Goofy and Max hug each other. The map, blown by the wind lands on Goofy's head]
Boy, this has been one crazy vacation.
Goofy
And it's not over yet!
Max
[The map sails toward the camera and showing Los Angeles. The scene cuts to the Powerline concert. Cars are being directed in. A couple of people are tossing instrument cases into a loading dock. A drum case opens and Max gets out] [whispers]
Dad? [he opens a base fiddle base and Goofy falls out.]
Goofy
We made it! Come on, Max! Let's get you on stage!
Max
Uh, maybe this isn't such a good idea.
Max
[A couple of spandex dressed dancers pass by Max. Max looks at them admiringly]
Uh, then again... [he notices that his dad is nowhere to be seren] Dad? Dad!
Powerline
[The scene cuts to the stage. Powerline is starting his final number] [singing]
I got myself a notion and one I know that you'll understand. We set the world in motion by reaching out for each other's hand.
Max
[under the stage trying to find Goofy.]
Dad? [looks up and sees Powerline from the back]
Powerline
[singing]
Maybe we'll discover what we should have known all along.
Security Guard
[Max has a flash light shine in his face]
What are you doing here? Hey!
Powerline
[Max runs from the guard] [singing]
One way or another, together's where we both belong.
Goofy
[is backstage going through a hall of dressing rooms]
Max? Max?
Powerline
[Goofy opens one of the rooms and accidentally discovers Wendell's wife, who is trying to get dressed. She screams in alarm. Goofy looks extremely embarrassed. She hits Goofy and sends him tumbling backward into a rather large and imposing piece of equipment with a door in the side. The door closes with Goofy inside and then starts buzzing] [singing]
If we listen to each other's heart, we'll find we're never too far apart and maybe love is the reason why, for the first time ever, we're seeing it I 2 I.
Bobby
[Through the TV screen, we go to Stacey's party. Everyone is gathered around the TV hoping for a chance to see Max on TV]
That Goof kid ain't there!
Stacey
[Roxanne looks worried] [to Roxanne]
Don't worry, he'll be there.
Goofy
[The scene cuts back to Los Angeles, Max is running from the Security Guard and climbs onto a row of lights which rises. The Guard is right behind him. Goofy is now in a large globe, just like Powerline made his entrance in for the final number which begins to rise through a trap door in the stage]
Excuse me, but uh... [ends up accidentally center stage with Powerline. He squints into the audience] Max?
Max
[Just as with Powerline, Goofy's globe is bathed with electrical charges. Goofy gets the shock of his life and the globe explodes, throwing Goofy at Powerline's feet. Powerline stops and stares at Goofy. Max, from the rafters, sees his dad, is first embarrassed, then gets an idea and shouts down to his dad]
Hey, Dad! Dad! Do the Perfect Cast!
Powerline
[Goofy does it and it looks like some kind of dance. Powerline gets interested and joins Goofy right at the "I'm a little teapot" part] [singing]
If you're ever lonely, stop. You don't have to be. After all it's only a beat away from you to me.
Powerline
[The Guard crawls across the scaffolding to Max. Max leaps over him to the other side. The guy-wire breaks and Max grabs it. The guard grabs Max's feet and they both go sailing. The guard ends up smashing into a large TV display, and Max ends up center stage with Powerline. Max gets up and starts doing the Perfect Cast] [singing]
If we listen to each other's heart, we'll find we're never too far apart.
Bobby
[The scene cuts back to Stacey's party]
Yeah! Max is on the tu-ube! That's Max! I know him!
Powerline
[Roxanne gets a big grin on her face] [singing]
And maybe love is the reason why for the first time ever, we're seeing it I 2 I.
PJ
[The scene cuts to Pete's RV. PJ is scrubbing the floor in front of the TV and sees Max]
He did it!
[Pete comes up behind PJ, sees Max and Goofy and spits the beer he was drinking on the screen. He stares at the TV with his jaw dropped. The scene cuts back to Stacey's party. Stacey and Roxanne are trying to do the Perfect Cast. Bobby comes by and sprays them with cheese. Bobby bumps into someone and drops the can. Bobby and Stacey reach the can at the same time and their hands touch. They look at each other and smile. The concert finishes with a bang]
Goofy
[Goofy is just pulling up in the car in front of Roxanne's house. The car is a total wreck. When they stop, the front bumper comes off]
You're doing the right thing, son.
Max
Yeah, I know. But she'll probably never talk to me again.
Goofy
Well, if she doesn't, maybe she's just not the one for you.
Max
That's what I'm afraid of. [goes to the front door and rings the doorbell] Uh... hi! Remember me?
Roxanne
Daddy! [opens the door and comes out] Max?! I saw you on TV! You were great!
Max
Yeah? I mean, no, no. I mean, uh... Roxanne, I lied to you. I don't even know Powerline.
Roxanne
What are you talking about? A billion people saw you dance with him!
Max
Yeah, well... I-I never met him before. The concert, that is.
Roxanne
You mean that story about Powerline and your dad? Why would you make up something like that?
Max
I don't know. I... I guess, I just... wanted you to like me.
Roxanne
I already liked you, Max. From the very first time I heard you laugh. "Uhyuck!" So... you wanna do something tonight?
Max
Definitely! Oh! Oh no, I can't. I can't.
Roxanne
What?
Max
Well, I'm kinda doing something with my dad. Honest? How about tomorrow?
Roxanne
[extends her hand for Max to shake]
Deal. [Max kisses Roxanne instead. They both giggle and Max lets out a full Goofy laugh. He covers his mouth, but Roxanne just smiles. Back at the car, Goofy has managed to get the front bumper back on the car. He grins and points at it. The car explodes. Goofy is sent flying. With a full Goofy yell, Goofy lands headfirst on the roof of Roxanne's porch. He chuckles and waves at Max and Roxanne]
Max
[smiles]
Roxanne, I'd like you to meet my dad.
Goofy
[takes Roxanne's hand and kisses it]
Enchanté, Mademoiselle.
Max
[They all laugh]
But still, dad, I'm really happy, and I outsmarted you anyway. Hasta la vista. Leave me alone. [He sticks his tongue out at him and laughs.]
Goofy
[annoyed]
Oh no!
