[A photo studio a rubber duck and making baby sounds]
A-hyuck! Come on, smile! Smiley wiley! Aw, come on, Kimmie! Gimme a big... [A baby girl named Kimmie. He squeezes a rubber ducky, the squeaker on the rubber ducky pops out which caused Goofy to choke and accidentally swallows it, squeaks when he tried to speak. Kimmie likes it and breaks into a big smile. Goofy takes advantage of this to begin taking pictures and playing peekaboo with the child]
Pete [furiously come up behind Goofy, angrily slaps him on the back and knocks the squeaker out of Goofy's throat]
Stop goofing around! We got work to do!
OK, Kimmie, back to Mommy, now. A-hyuck! You're such a cute little girlie. Oh, come back and see me!
Kimmie's mother: Oh, you have such a way with children!
Pete [angrily mocks Kimmie's mother]
You have such a way with children! Pleh!
[approaches a little girl and her mother; the little girl is wearing a blue dress and hairbow and black Mary Janes. A waiting for a picture]
OK, now! Who's next over he...
Pete [grabs Goofy out of his way]
Step aside, Goof. Let a pro show ya how it's done. OK! Who's next over here? Heh, heh! Oh, hello precious... [A little girl kicks Pete in the knee] D'oh! Ow! You lucky woman! Now-now, now you come on here, honey! It's picture time! She's so cute!
[giggles and hides]
Peekaboo! Peekaboo!
Gosh, Pete. You sure are good with kids.
Pete Oh, yeah. Well, they love me. Why, PJ, he's been begging me to take him on vacation this summer.
Pete Camping! Nothing like the great outdoors to strengthen the bond between a father and a son. [puts the sitting stamp on the little girl's butt]
Oh, Max would never go for anything like that. [gives a stuffed deer to the little girl]
Pete I don't know, Goof. Something's wrong when a kid won't spend time with his parents. For all you know, he's running around with some gang and stealing stuff and causing riots and... [takes little girl's toy deer away from her]
Wah! Give me, give me, give me.
Oh, Max is a good kid. He'd never get mixed up in something like that.
[With a loud boom, the scene cuts to the main office of the high school, where Max and Bobby and sitting, waiting their turn to speak with the Principal. Miss Maples, a secretary, is typing and humming the funeral march] [depressed]
I'm a failure--complete loser! My one chance to impress Roxanne and I blew it.
[reveals something he has been working on for a while]
Uh, huh! Max! Look! It's the leaning tower of cheeza! [stuffs the cheese in his mouth]
[comes out of the Principal’s office with a vacant look on his face]
Oh, man! My dad is gonna smash me like a bug!
Hey, PJ! Detention! [laughs jokingly]
[nervously calls Principal Mazur]
OK, I'm coming! Max, here. [hands Max can of cheese] Guard this with your life, dude. [wheels the dolly of video equipment into Principal Mazur's office and gives Max a double thumbs up] Hey, Principal Mazur! What's up, bro!
[The door to Principal Mazur's office shuts. Max puts his head in his hands. Roxanne and Stacey come by the office] [fading]
...with all those kids in my house the place will be like a sauna so I'm all freaked out, but then I thought, "Like, use it!" So my theme's gonna be: "Powerline Goes Rain Forest"! Too much? Roxanne, are you listening?
[Roxanne looks at Max]
Ahhh!
[whispers]
Talk to him! [Roxanne clears her throat a couple of times] Tap him!
[Roxanne taps Max who immediately sits up, startled. Roxanne's books and papers go flying] [looks at Roxanne and smiles, gets up out of the chair then starts to help Roxanne pick up the papers and books]
Gosh, I'm sorry.
It's OK. Really. [Max and Roxanne reach for the same paper at the same time and Max's hand touches hers. They stay that way for a moment, then Max withdraws his hand, a bit embarrassed] Um, I liked your dance.
Yeah. Yeah? Uh, yeah! It's from Powerline's new video!
I know! He's totally a genius!
Uh, yeah! He, he's doing a concert next week in Los Angeles!
Oh, yeah! Stacey is showing it at her party.
[fidgets and fumbles for a while]
Um, uh, Roxanne, I was, uh, sorta kinda thinking that maybe I'd ask you to go with me that is to the party. Of course if you don't want to I'd completely understand!
Well, I was, sorta kinda thinking that ... I'd love to!
[grabs Roxanne's arm and beings to drag her away]
Come on, Roxanne. We don't wanna belabor the moment now, do we?
Well, I'd better be going.
OK! Bye! [backs into the door. Giggles nervously, then with a final "Bye." leaves the office]
See? That wasn't so bad! I told you men are easy to deal with!
Yes! She said yes! Woo hoo hoo hoo! Everybody mambo! [grabs Miss Maples and begins to mambo with her]
M Miss Maples
It's not my break yet!
Yeah! Dance with her! Groove with her!
[enraged]
Miss Maples! Get that boy's father on the phone at once!
M Miss Maples
[sing-songish]
Yes sir! Right away, sir!
[The scene cuts to Goofy answering the phone at the Discount Store]
Hello.
Uh, yes, Mr. Goof. This is Principal Mazur. I'm calling in regard to your son, Maximillian.
Max? Oh my gosh! Is he hurt?
No, Mr. Goof. [enraged] He's in trouble!
Trouble? What kinda trouble?
Dressed like a gang member. Your son caused the entire student body to break into a riotous frenzy!
Gang member? Riot? It couldn't be my...
[ticked off]
If I were you, Mr. Goof, I'd seriously re-evaluate the way you're raising your child, before he ends up IN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR! [angrily hangs up the phone]
The electric chair? [lets the phone drop] What am I gonna do? [bathed in a beam of blue light]
P PA
Blue light special on aisle 3. Blue light special on aisle 3.
[bobs the head of one of the figures, which bounces around a while]
Lake Destiny.
Pete [The scene cuts to Pete with the camera, with the little girl's picture taking all set]
OK, kiddo, now smile!
[interrupts Pete's picture taking]
Lake Destiny, Idaho!
Pete Lake Destiny, Idaho?
You were right, Pete. Nothing like the great outdoors to strengthen the bond between father and son! You said so yourself!
Pete Well, yeah, but, ah...
[takes off his hat and dances away, then puts it back on]
I'm going fishing! I'm going fishing with my boy!
Pete Yah! OK, precious, give me a big smi... [sees the little girl's underwear still attached to the sitting stamp; he realizes that the little girl has gotten out of the sitting spot to avoid having her picture taken]
[giggles as she runs after Goofy; the little girl's butt is now nude]
Fishy! Fishy!
[The scene fades to a campground, where Goofy is setting up a tent and Max is sitting on a rock by a river. He is stirring the water with a stick. In the ripples, he imagines he sees the face of Roxanne. Suddenly, Goofy steps in the middle of her image]
Hey, Max. You wanna get in some fishing practice? Just a couple of days 'til we get to Lake Destiny.
Maybe later. [wanders off]
[sadly returns to the tent and begins to unroll a sleeping bag. While in the tent, a huge RV rolls over the top of the tent and proceeds to produce a hot tub, a basketball court, a bowling alley and a swimming pool]
[comes back to see what's happening]
Whoa! Now that's camping!
You say something, Max? [gets hit by a door of RV] Ow! Pete?
Pete Goofy? What a serendipity do dah! Who'da thunk it, huh?!
Pete Who? Oh, yeah. I'm sure he's loafing around here somewhere.
[The scene cuts to the inside of the RV. PJ is buffing the floor and dusting while listening to Powerline on the stereo. He is singing along]
What a goob! [turns off the stereo]
[begins treating the buffer like a microphone, still singing]
Stand out! Above the crowd! Even if you got to shout out loud! No matter what you look it's Max I get... [spoken] Max!
Woah! Small wilderness, dude! Didn't expect to run into you.
You're just jealous man, 'cause you ain't got the moves!
Yeah, you can keep the moves. But I wouldn't mind having this RV. You're so lucky, man!
Me? Awww, come on! You're the star!
Going to the Powerline concert! Awww, it's unbelievable, man!
Hey, come on! Everybody in town knows about it, Max. [discusses Max's alleged trip to the Powerline concert] You're gonna be famous, buddy. Especially with Roxanne.
There's just one person who doesn't know about this, PJ.
Pete [The scene cuts to the roof of the RV where Pete and Goofy are. Pete begins to go bowling]
So tell me, Goof. Is that kid of yours still giving you guff?
Oh, I don't know what's wrong. Just seems like everything I try only drives Max further away. Maybe I oughta just back off, I don't know.
Pete Wrong, Goof. Look, if you keep 'em under your thumb, they'll never end up in the gutter.
Pete [angrily looks at Goofy]
Almost? Hah! Watch this. [yelling loudly] PJ!!!
[runs up to the top of the RV]
Here, sir! Coming, sir! Yes, sir!
Pete [points at the pin. PJ goes over and kicks it down]
Whoo-hoo! Strike-ola! Yee-haw! Thank you. Thank you. Yes! And the crowd goes wild! Ahh-ha-ha-ha! High five, son! Psych! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Say, Goof. Why don't you two stay for dinner?
Oh, no thanks, Pete. Max and I have some fish to catch.
[angrily sighs]
Dad, we can do that tomorrow. [to Pete] So what are we having?
Pete [clears throat]
Under your thumb, Goof.
[sternly confronts Max]
Maximilian!
[sternly orders Max]
Get your gear, little man! We're going fishing! [loudly shouts] And I mean NOW! [Max walks away]
Dad, I don't even know how to fish.
Oh, now come on. That never stopped me! Let me show ya a little family secret handed down through about twelve or thirteen Goof generations: The Perfect Cast.
The Perfect Cast. My dad taught it to me when I was about your age. OK now, watch carefully. You gotta be loose. Relaxed. With your feet apart, and... Ten o'clock. Two o'clock. Quarter to three! Tour Jete! Twist! Over! Pas de deux! I'm a little teapot! And the windup...!
[Goofy's line goes all the way back to where Pete is barbecuing steaks. The hook grabs a steak] And let 'er fly! [The Perfect Cast. The hook with the steak go sailing and land on the bank of the river a fair ways away in the middle of a large footprint. Two feet that match the footprint then come up. It's Bigfoot, who is holding a log. He chews on the log, but stops and sniffs, then sees the steak] And now, we reel 'er in. [Bigfoot is about to take the steak when Goofy starts to real it in. Bigfoot chases the steak and finally catches it. He bites it and is pulled by Goofy.] Quick! Get the camera! [They manage to get back to the bank and Max hands the camera to Goofy] Must be over three pounds! I don't wanna miss this! [Whispers] Look, Max!
[Horrorly screams]
Uh, Dad, It's BIGFOOT!
Could you back up a bit, Mr. Foot? Uh, you're out of focus. [Bigfoot ferociously roars at Goofy and Max. The steak sails back at Pete and hits him in the face]
Pete [angrily pulls off the steak]
What's the idea? [sees Max and Goofy running from Bigfoot and screaming] BIGFOOT!!! [grabs the BBQ, throws it in the RV, retracts all the equipment attached to the RV and drives off, leaving Goofy's tent where it was]
[runs backward getting Bigfoot on video]
Behold the legendary Bigfoot! Fabled but seldom... Whoa! [clumsily trips over the tent and the camera goes flying]
[tries to get in the car]
It's locked!
Quick! The sun roof! [starts rolling the window closed]
Hurry up! Hurry up! [The window closes just as Bigfoot gets there. He rocks the car back and forth for a moment, then notices all the equipment Goofy had unpacked. He goes to investigate] I can't believe it... Bigfoot!
And I've got the only video!
We're gonna be famous! [disgusted] Let's just get outta here. [Goofy feels for the keys but Bigfoot has found them outside and tosses them away. Bigfoot has discovered the camera and is pulling the tape out in shreds. He then continues rummaging through their equipment. The scene fades to late evening. Goofy and Max are still in the car] Is he gone yet?
[Bigfoot does a puppet show using socks. Then goes back to rummaging]
Nope. Still here. [Max's stomach growls] Gee, Max. Was that Bigfoot or your stomach?
[feels his stomach]
Man, I'm starving!
[A can of alphabet soup lands on the hood of the car]
Alphabet soup coming up! [rolls down the window and tries to grab the can]
[Bigfoot hears and turns around, roars ferociously, starts coming toward the car and runs toward it]
Dad, stop playing around! He's coming! [grabs his father's hand and turns it so the can gets through]
[Bigfoot crashes into the side of the car and is sent sprawling along with a lot of the equipment he dragged along. He lands and a pair of headphones lands on his head, which is playing "Stayin' Alive" by Bee Gees. Bigfoot is startled at first, then begins to enjoy it. The scene cuts to the inside of the car where Goofy has just taken the cigarette lighter out of the dashboard]
Well, it's nice to know this thing’s good for something. [balances the can of soup over the lighter]
[While they wait for the soup to heat up, they sit. Bigfoot does the hustle in the background. Max and Goofy catch each other looking at the other and quickly look away. Goofy then smiles and starts to chuckle]
What's so funny?
Don't tell me you don't remember "Hi Dad" Soup. Oh, come on! Sure you do! You used to spell things out using the letters, like, uh, "Hi Dad" or "Maxie" or...
Yeah, that's...Nah, little words, like...
...or "I pledge allegiance"...
[Both Max and Goofy suddenly look sad]
Is it soup yet?
Oh, I almost forgot! [uses his teeth to create two holes in the top of the can]
Woah! Where'd you learn to do that?
Your granddad taught me that when we went to Yosemite.
You two did a lot together, huh?
Yup. [Now looks sad. Suddenly Goofy and Max talk simultaneously] Max, you and I have to...
[drinks and leaves a soup mustache on his upper lip]
Not bad. [sees his dad grinning] What?
[Seeing Max with a mustache reminds Goofy of what Max was like as a little boy and just grins]
Nothing. [Bigfoot climbs on top of the car and settles down to sleep] Welp, might as well get some shut eye. I don't think we're going anywhere tonight. [gets comfortable. Max looks lovingly at his dad, then down at the remnants of the soup in his cup. He fiddles with something at the bottom. Max then taps his father and hands him the cup. Goofy looks at the bottom of the cup to see the words "Hi Dad" spelled out. Goofy gets choked up and looks over at Max, who is settling down to sleep]
[The scene fades to later that night. Both Bigfoot and Goofy are snoring. Max can't sleep because of the noise. So, he finds a postcard and begins to write] [writing]
Dear Roxanne, Couldn't sleep... so I thought I'd drop ya a line. Dad and I are having a great time. We're only days away from Los Angeles and I can hardly wait for the big concert. [stops writing and looks sad. Then looks over at Goofy]
[in his sleep]
More Hi Dad Soup, please.
[gets a half smile on his face looking at his dad, then decides to re-write the postcard]
Dear Roxanne, sorry I lied, but I'm not really going to the Powerline concert. You may never wanna see me again... [stops when he realizes that won't work either] Oh, man! I'm dead no matter what I do! [angrily stomps his foot on the dashboard. The glove compartment pops open and the map unfolds into his lap. He follows the route on it to Lake Destiny and then looks down to Los Angeles. A pencil rolls out of the glove compartment and conveniently stops, pointing from the route on the map directly to Los Angeles Max picks up the pencil then starts erasing. He then draws a new route to Los Angeles. The pencil tip breaks just before he finishes. Goofy yawns. Max breaks out in a cold sweat, picks up the pencil tip and finishes the drawing, puts the map back in the glove compartment and sits back nervously as Goofy seems to awaken]
How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?
Uh... three and a half? [Goofy goes back to sleep] [sighs, looks at the postcard and then tears it up, opens the car window and throws the pieces outside into the wind. The pieces are carried toward the camera. One piece gets caught in a branch close up, with the words, "I lied" written on it]
[notices the waterbeds with goldfish]
Whoa ho ho! Check out the bed!
Check out the dresser--coral!
[turns a mermaid lamp off and on]
Nice lamp!
Classy choice there, navigator.
Pete This is the police! We've got the place surrounded, see! You Goofs come out with your hands up! [starts laughing] You should've seen the look on your face!
You really had him fooled, Pete!
Me? You jumped out of your skin!
Uh uh! I was just pretending for your sake!
Pete Oh, ain't this sweet! [aside to Goofy] Don't let him fool you with that buddy-buddy act, now. Under your thumb! [thumbs Goofy's nose] So, since we're all being palsy-walsy here, how about letting me hook up the RV?
Pete Oh, it's just a tiny little extension cord. You'll hardly even notice it.
Pete Great! PJ!
Pete [PJ comes in hauling an enormous array of ducts and cables. Pete points into the room. PJ hauls it all in]
Hey, Goof. Why don't ya order us a pizza? This might take a while.
[Goofy gets the pizza, then brings it in to PJ and Max]
...no I mean it, they...
Here ya go, kids. I'm gonna go check out the hot tub.
I can't believe you, man. Whatever made you think your dad would fall for a stupid idea like that?
Come on, it was really stupid! Changing the map?
Look, I didn't know what I was doing, all right? I was panicked!
Pete [Goofy gets in the hot tub and is joined shortly thereafter by Pete]
Taking a break from the MTV generation, huh? Can't say I blame ya. People are always putting too much water in these things. So, um... you and your son seem to be, uh, getting along just hunky-dory, huh?
Yeah, it's been great! You know, it's funny, but none of your techniques worked for me. The harder I tried, the worse it got. Once I eased up, things just clicked!
Pete Oh, that's swell. So, there's no problems then, huh?
Pete That's, uh I just hate to be the bearer of bad news, but uh...
Pete Your kid's duping ya.
Pete Well, I heard the little mutant telling PJ that he changed the map, so you're heading straight to Los Angeles, pal.
Pete Oh, you tried, Goof. He's just a bad kid, that's all.
Pete What?
I don't believe ya, Pete!
Pete Well, hey, don't take my word for it. Check your map.
I don't need to check the map. I trust my son. [with a quietly defiant mien] You know, maybe Max isn't all the things that you think a son should be, but he loves me.
Pete Hey, my son (PJ) respects me.
[listlessly]
Yeah. [walks away]
Pete [calling after him]
Check the map, Goof!
[Goofy walks back to the room, but decides to get in the car instead. He reaches for the glove compartment, then stop. He thinks, gets upset and angrily pounds the steering wheel and starts to get out. The glove compartment pops open and the map spills out. The scene cuts to an aerial shot of the motel with Goofy's car centered. Goofy goes back to the room]
Hi, dad. Sorry about the mess. I'll clean it up.
[Goofy looks absolutely dumbstruck and disillusioned. He gets in bed and turns off the light] [whispering]
I think I better go.
[whispering]
Don't forget Powerline!
Shhh!
[Goofy still has that look of disillusionment and sadness as he lies in bed]
