The heffalump ate my honey. Well actually, I did, but it made me do it.
Winnie the Pooh
This is one of my favorite once-upon-a-times, although I'm not quite sure which time it was once upon. But it had been so nice and summery in the Hundred Acre Wood and the sunshine was as warm as a blanket. And the streams were gurgling happily. As - as happily as a tumbly full of honey, hoo, which is very happy. But all that changed when... the stranger came. [sound of heffalump trumpeting]
Winnie the Pooh
You know, we never really did capture a heffalump that day. It was more like... like Lumpy captured all of us.
In the name of Hundred Acre Wood, I capture you!
Roo
No! Lumpy! [hops on Lumpy's head] Leave him alone!
Kanga
Wait!
Roo
You're scaring him!
Kanga
Rabbit, what on Earth are you doing?
Rabbit
We're rescuing Roo from the heffalump!
Roo
Wait, no, stop! You don't understand!
Rabbit
What? Now, see here, Roo...!
Kanga
Ahem. Rabbit, let him finish please.
Roo
We were wrong about the heffalumps. They're not scary creatures. Lumpy is my friend. He's just like us. He gets afraid.
Piglet
Oh!
Roo
He likes honey.
Pooh
Oh!
Roo
And he even learned how to bounce.
Tigger
Oh, look at that.
Roo
So, you gotta uncapture him!
[Rabbit releases the rope and signs]
Rabbit
Alright?! [Opens the doors, to everyones] What?
Tigger
Rabbit!
Pooh
Thank goodness you're alright.
Piglet
It came at me in the dark!?
Roo
I heard this really neat sound!
Tigger
It was terrible!
Rabbit
What's this all about?
Tigger
It chilled me to the bone!
Roo
I was asleep...
Rabbit
Alright!
Pooh
There's somethin' like this.
Rabbit
ONE AT A TIMMMMMME!? [everyone stops and sighs] Thank you. Now what is goin'...?
Tigger
Oh, oh, me! Pick me! Me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me!
Rabbit
Er, Tigger?
Tigger
There I was, sleepin', dreamin' Tiggerish dreams... and suddenly, everything starts shakin', and there's stuff fallin' everywhere! And then, it stops! And I look around. And there it wasn't, my most "favoritest" family portrait. [sobs] It was clean gone.
Pooh
Did it look something like this, Tigger? [pulls the portrait off Tigger's head]
Tigger
Yeah, it was... Actually, it had a little less Pooh in it. [We see a hole in the picture, and we see Pooh's face in it]
Rabbit
I see. [clears throat] And, uh, Pooh Bear, what about you?
Pooh
Well, whatever it was, it ate my honey. Oh...
Roo
And-- [Some honey falls on his face from the pot] Aw!
Pooh
Well, actually, I ate my honey. But it made me do it.
Rabbit
Humph.
Roo
I was asleep in bed, and I heard this neat trumpety sound, and--
Rabbit
Thank you, Roo. Very good. [clears throat] Now, Piglet, tell us what happened to you.
Piglet
Actually, I-I-I'd like very much to forget.
Rabbit
Well, what we have here is a mystery of the most mysterious kind.
Roo
Wow!. H-hey everybody, look what I found!
Tigger
It's a swimming pool.
The sky has finally fallen. Always knew it would.
Piglet
Oh, m-m-m-my!
Roo
It looks like a footprint.
Tigger
That's "impossibibble."
Rabbit
A footprint, indeed. Anyone can see it's only a... a... a...
Pooh
Rabbit, what sort of creature do you suppose would be attached to a foot that... big?
Rabbit
There's only one thing it could be. [inhales] A Heffalump. [Tigger, Pooh and Piglet all gasps]
Roo
Excuse me. What's a heffalump?
What's a heffalump?!
Rabbit
Hem hem. [singing] Everyone knows what a heffalump's like.
Tigger
It's got fiery eyes and a tail on its spike.
Rabbit
Claws on its paws are sharp as a tack.
Tigger
And wing-a-ma-things coming out of its back.
Roo
Out of its back?
Rabbit
Of course, Roo. Precisely.
Tigger
"Exact-tickally." Cause its bottom is up and its top's really down.
Rabbit
So its nose is its tail or the other way 'round.
Tigger
Yeah, and it's wide as a river and tall as a tree.
Rabbit
Imagine gigantic.
Tigger
And times it by three.
Rabbit
It clomps here and there.
Tigger
And it stomps to and fro.
Rabbit
It's got three horns above.
Tigger
And eleven below!
Piglet
Those are its good points.
Pooh
There's much more to know...
About the dreadfully dreaded, thoroughly three-headed, horribly hazardous Heffalumps!
Roo
Wow, neat!
Rabbit
Neat?! It's most certainly not neat! [singing] Everyone knows they lurk and they creep.
Tigger
The best time to see one is when it's asleep.
Rabbit
If you sneak up behind it and get it to jump...
Tigger
You can tell which part's Heffa-hee-hee.
Rabbit
And which part is lump!
They'll steal all your honey and eat your last crust. They'll stomp on your house till it's nothing but dust. The worst part of all is...
Roo
They're different from us?
They're... the... dreadfully dreaded, thoroughly three-headed, fiercely ferociously, mostly atrociously, horribly hazardous... HEFFALUMPS!
Roo
Yeah! [The fantasy ends, and they are all back in the wood. They all sigh in relief.]
Rabbit
And they live right over there. [points to another forest over a fence] Heffalump Hollow.
Pooh
Um... Piglet?
Piglet
Yes, Pooh?
Pooh
Why are you setting out little pink jelly beans?
Piglet
I've been leaving a trail so we can find our way back from the Heffalump expedition.
Pooh
Oh, bother.
Piglet
Oh, no. [gasps] WE'RE... LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOST!! [the cameras zooms out in fastest]
Pooh
I caught a heffalump, Piglet! And so did you! Won't Rabbit be proud of us?
Piglet
Pooh, have you noticed that heffalumps look a lot like rabbits?
Rabbit
And why do you think that is, PIGLET? [Rabbit's ears poke up through the butterfly net]
Piglet
Oh dear! The heffalump knows my name!
Pooh
Well, hello there, Tigger! Did you happen to see the Heffalump I just captured?
Tigger
Hmm, you got me there...
