[A photo studio a rubber duck and making baby sounds]
A-hyuck! Come on, smile! Smiley wiley! Aw, come on, Kimmie! Gimme a big... [A baby girl named Kimmie. He squeezes a rubber ducky, the squeaker on the rubber ducky pops out which caused Goofy to choke and accidentally swallows it, squeaks when he tried to speak. Kimmie likes it and breaks into a big smile. Goofy takes advantage of this to begin taking pictures and playing peekaboo with the child]
[furiously come up behind Goofy, angrily slaps him on the back and knocks the squeaker out of Goofy's throat]
Stop goofing around! We got work to do!
OK, Kimmie, back to Mommy, now. A-hyuck! You're such a cute little girlie. Oh, come back and see me!
Kimmie's mother: Oh, you have such a way with children!
[angrily mocks Kimmie's mother]
You have such a way with children! Pleh!
[approaches a little girl and her mother; the little girl is wearing a blue dress and hairbow and black Mary Janes. A waiting for a picture]
OK, now! Who's next over he...
[grabs Goofy out of his way]
Step aside, Goof. Let a pro show ya how it's done. OK! Who's next over here? Heh, heh! Oh, hello precious... [A little girl kicks Pete in the knee] D'oh! Ow! You lucky woman! Now-now, now you come on here, honey! It's picture time! She's so cute!
LG Little girl
[giggles and hides]
Peekaboo! Peekaboo!
Gosh, Pete. You sure are good with kids.
Oh, yeah. Well, they love me. Why, PJ, he's been begging me to take him on vacation this summer.
Camping! Nothing like the great outdoors to strengthen the bond between a father and a son. [puts the sitting stamp on the little girl's butt]
Oh, Max would never go for anything like that. [gives a stuffed deer to the little girl]
I don't know, Goof. Something's wrong when a kid won't spend time with his parents. For all you know, he's running around with some gang and stealing stuff and causing riots and... [takes little girl's toy deer away from her]
LG Little girl
Wah! Give me, give me, give me.
Oh, Max is a good kid. He'd never get mixed up in something like that.
[With a loud boom, the scene cuts to the main office of the high school, where Max and Bobby and sitting, waiting their turn to speak with the Principal. Miss Maples, a secretary, is typing and humming the funeral march] [depressed]
I'm a failure--complete loser! My one chance to impress Roxanne and I blew it.
[reveals something he has been working on for a while]
Uh, huh! Max! Look! It's the leaning tower of cheeza! [stuffs the cheese in his mouth]
[comes out of the Principal’s office with a vacant look on his face]
Oh, man! My dad is gonna smash me like a bug!
Hey, PJ! Detention! [laughs jokingly]
[nervously calls Principal Mazur]
OK, I'm coming! Max, here. [hands Max can of cheese] Guard this with your life, dude. [wheels the dolly of video equipment into Principal Mazur's office and gives Max a double thumbs up] Hey, Principal Mazur! What's up, bro!
[The door to Principal Mazur's office shuts. Max puts his head in his hands. Roxanne and Stacey come by the office] [fading]
...with all those kids in my house the place will be like a sauna so I'm all freaked out, but then I thought, "Like, use it!" So my theme's gonna be: "Powerline Goes Rain Forest"! Too much? Roxanne, are you listening?
[Roxanne looks at Max]
Ahhh!
[whispers]
Talk to him! [Roxanne clears her throat a couple of times] Tap him!
[Roxanne taps Max who immediately sits up, startled. Roxanne's books and papers go flying] [looks at Roxanne and smiles, gets up out of the chair then starts to help Roxanne pick up the papers and books]
Gosh, I'm sorry.
It's OK. Really. [Max and Roxanne reach for the same paper at the same time and Max's hand touches hers. They stay that way for a moment, then Max withdraws his hand, a bit embarrassed] Um, I liked your dance.
Yeah. Yeah? Uh, yeah! It's from Powerline's new video!
I know! He's totally a genius!
Uh, yeah! He, he's doing a concert next week in Los Angeles!
Oh, yeah! Stacey is showing it at her party.
[fidgets and fumbles for a while]
Um, uh, Roxanne, I was, uh, sorta kinda thinking that maybe I'd ask you to go with me that is to the party. Of course if you don't want to I'd completely understand!
Well, I was, sorta kinda thinking that ... I'd love to!
[grabs Roxanne's arm and beings to drag her away]
Come on, Roxanne. We don't wanna belabor the moment now, do we?
Well, I'd better be going.
OK! Bye! [backs into the door. Giggles nervously, then with a final "Bye." leaves the office]
See? That wasn't so bad! I told you men are easy to deal with!
Yes! She said yes! Woo hoo hoo hoo! Everybody mambo! [grabs Miss Maples and begins to mambo with her]
M Miss Maples
It's not my break yet!
Yeah! Dance with her! Groove with her!
[enraged]
Miss Maples! Get that boy's father on the phone at once!
M Miss Maples
[sing-songish]
Yes sir! Right away, sir!
[The scene cuts to Goofy answering the phone at the Discount Store]
Hello.
Uh, yes, Mr. Goof. This is Principal Mazur. I'm calling in regard to your son, Maximillian.
Max? Oh my gosh! Is he hurt?
No, Mr. Goof. [enraged] He's in trouble!
Trouble? What kinda trouble?
Dressed like a gang member. Your son caused the entire student body to break into a riotous frenzy!
Gang member? Riot? It couldn't be my...
[ticked off]
If I were you, Mr. Goof, I'd seriously re-evaluate the way you're raising your child, before he ends up IN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR! [angrily hangs up the phone]
The electric chair? [lets the phone drop] What am I gonna do? [bathed in a beam of blue light]
P PA
Blue light special on aisle 3. Blue light special on aisle 3.
[bobs the head of one of the figures, which bounces around a while]
Lake Destiny.
[The scene cuts to Pete with the camera, with the little girl's picture taking all set]
OK, kiddo, now smile!
[interrupts Pete's picture taking]
Lake Destiny, Idaho!
You were right, Pete. Nothing like the great outdoors to strengthen the bond between father and son! You said so yourself!
[takes off his hat and dances away, then puts it back on]
I'm going fishing! I'm going fishing with my boy!
Yah! OK, precious, give me a big smi... [sees the little girl's underwear still attached to the sitting stamp; he realizes that the little girl has gotten out of the sitting spot to avoid having her picture taken]
LG Little girl
[giggles as she runs after Goofy; the little girl's butt is now nude]
Fishy! Fishy!
[The scene fades to the next day. Goofy is driving with the map in front of him so he can't see. Max is moping. The car drifts left of the center. Max glances up and sees a truck coming as his expression changes to concern. The truck horn blows. Max looks alarmed. The truck horn blows again. Max grabs the steering wheel and turns the car back into the right lane just as the truck goes by and would have run into him, his dad, and the car]
[ticked off]
Dad, you're gonna get us killed! Why don't you just give me the map?
Oh, no thanks, son. Navigating's a big responsibility! Besides, you wouldn't wanna spoil the big surprise. I'm taking ya someplace pretty special! [Goofy and Max pull into a rather seedy looking attraction called Lester's Possum Park and stop] Gawrsh! It's even better than I remembered!
LG Little girl
[The scene cuts to a mother attempting to drag her little daughter through the entrance to the park, which resembles the mouth of a possum]
No! Mommy! I don't wanna go!
[not interested]
Yeah, fun. Tell ya what: I'm just gonna wait right here in the car.
[grabs Max and drags him]
Ya party pooper! Come on! This is gonna be fun!
PP Possum Park Emcee
[The scene cuts to the interior of a small old theater]
Howdy there, folks. Lester's is proud to present the Possum Posse Jamboree. Here it is.
[Several patrons clap for the show as Goofy and Max enter]
Oh, boy! Just in time!
L Lester
[The curtain opens and shows four holes in the ground. Out of one of the holes comes a mechanical possum named Lester which has obviously seen better days]
Howdy, folks! Who's your favorite possum?
I got us a seat right up front!
L Lester
Let me introduce you to the posse! Here's Buford, Beulah and Mordechai!
B Buford
[stuck in his hole]
Hey, Lester, ready for yodeling?
L Lester
Sure am, Buford. [singing] Now gather 'round, my possum pals and join the jamboree.
This is pathetic! [A pigtailed girl smiles at Max]
L Lester
[singing]
Come hoot 'n' howl 'n' holler from the heart and every chicken, pig, 'n' goat'll help by yelping out a yodel here at Lester's Possum Park! [speaking] Join in, folks! It's yodeling time!
L Lester
[Many patrons join in the yodeling including Goofy. Max just looks disgusted] [singing]
Lester's Possum Park.
L Lester
[Max is getting more and more disgusted at the show] [singing]
Well don't you wanna be, a'hanging from a tree? We're mighty glad to see ya and the parking's always free! [begins to break down] Here at Lester's Possum Park!
[sees a souvenir stand and gets an idea]
Hey! That's the ticket! I'll be right back, my little possum pal!
[sighs]
My life's a living.
L Lester
Hello, little buddy! Who's your favorite possum?
[getting annoyed]
Don't touch me.
L Lester
Aw, why such a long face? You're so sad! Boo hoo hoo! I know! You need a big hug from Lester.
[angrily gives Lester a warning with his finger]
Don't even think about it...!
L Lester
[gives Max a giant hug which ticks him off]
See? Now you feel all good inside!
[angrily slaps Lester which turns his false head backward]
Beat it, doofus! [Lester staggers off unable to see where he is going and is knocked down and dragged off by several kids] Oh no, no, Dad! Not that, please!
[comes back wearing a dead possum hat and puts one on Max]
Here ya go, sport! Let's say we get our picture taken!
[The scene cuts to the little pigtailed girl crying while her picture is taken]
You have got to be kidding.
Oh, all right. But you're missing out! [foolishly hangs upside down between two possums to get his picture taken] Hiya, son! [A lot of people laughing]
K Kid
Hey, everyone! Check out the dork!
P Photographer
Say, "sassafras".
Sassyfrass! [The branch breaks and Goofy falls to the ground. This sends one of the two possums hurdling toward Max and it hits him in the face. The possum then crawls down Max's sweatshirt. Max beings to jump around in an attempt to get at the possum. A couple of musicians start playing country music, mistaking Max's gyrations for an attempt at dance] That's the spirit, Maxie! [grabs Max and starts dancing with him]
[embarrassed]
Dad, stop, please! Dad, look, this is embarrassing!
[finally finished the dance with Max on his knee]
Ta-da! Hyuck!
K Kid
It's Dork and Dork Junior!
[Max gets ticked off and takes the hat off his head, furiously throws it to the ground and angrily fights his way out of the crowd. He furiously goes to the car only to find it locked. He angrily pounds his fists on the door just as it starts to rain. He furiously walks to the highway and angrily starts hitchhiking. A passing car sprays him with water, but he angrily continues to hitchhike] [comes out]
Max! Hey, what the heck you trying to do?
Trying to get away from you! [furiously leaves the highway and angrily goes back to the car]
I thought we was having fun. What's the matter?
Nothing. Let's just go. Well, come on!
[sadly unlocked the door and Max gets in, goes around and gets in too, then hands Max the hat he threw away which infuriates him]
Oh, you dropped your hat.
[furiously blows up, screams in frustration, angrily yells at Goofy, and furiously takes his hat, but lividly rolls down the window, and angrily throws the hat away again]
This is the stupidest vacation! You drag me from home, you jam me in this dumb car, then drive me a million miles away to see some stupid rat show! Call me when the trip's over. [Goofy sadly starts the car and drives off]
