Jonathan Winters movie quotes

Papa Smurf

I'm 546 years old.

Papa Smurf

Gnap! Gnap! Gnap! Gnap! Gnap! Gnap! Gnap! Gnap! Gnap! Gnap! Gnap! Gnap! Gnap! Gnap!

Papa Smurf

Not this time, Gargamel.

Lennie Pike

So lets see, now, I got 1 share for being 1 person, 1 share for going down the hill, 1 share for the truck, and 1 share for being a person in the truck, but no matter how you figure it out, I still don't get as much as anybody else!

Melville Crump

Let me explain once more. [Points pen at J. Russell Finch, Mrs. Marcus, and Emmeline Marcus-Finch] Them, their group, they, those 3, they get $112,000. [Points pen at Dingy Bell and Benjy Benjamin] Those over there, them, they get $97,000. [Points pen at himself and Monica] We, we, us they get $84,000. [Points pen at Pike] And you, by yourself, you get $56,000, alone, and that's tax free money.

Lennie Pike

What do you mean "tax free"?

I don't think you have to worry about that. My wife is divorcing me; my mother in-law is suing me for damages; my daughter is petitioning the court to get her name changed; my pension has been revoked, and the ONLY reason, that you ten idiots will very likely get off lightly, is because the judge will have me up there.....to throw the book at!

Look, there's this dough see. There's all this dough. Three hundred and fifty g's! Do you hear what I'm saying? Three hundred and fifty g's! In the park. Rosita. Rosita Beach State Park. Just south of Daygo in Santa Rosita. It's in this box, buried under this... [continuing after coughing in his injured state] ...buried under this big W. You'll see it! You'll see it under this big W. You can't miss it! A big, big, W! And it's been there. And it's been laying there for fifteen years! Watch out. Watch out for the bulls. Lousy, stinking bulls are everywhere. Bulls all over the place. You just drive down and dig it up. Dig it all up. And then - and then you fix yourselves all up. Fix yourselves all up. Walk down the street like a king, back to the old neighborhood. See the fellas, the dames - the dames, all with a big hello - a big hello for old Smiler. Good old Smiler, everybody's friend. [lies his head down, almost dead. Benjy takes his hat off, until he jolts awake and grabs Melville's jacket] Aunt Belle, I didn't mean to do it!

Lennie Pike

Holy mackerel, take it easy, mister!

Russell

Easy!

Please! Please say it don't make any difference, Aunt Belle! Please! You gotta say! You gotta tell me it don't make any difference!

Dingy Bell

For heaven's sake, tell him.

Melville Crump

It - It don't make any difference.

Lennie Pike

That guy is dead. You better believe it.

Benjamin

Oh, I believe it all right, but if he jumps up again like he did before, I'm gonna get the hell out of here.

Russell

Here, take this and go hire us the best car you can find.

Lennie Pike

But...this is a little girl's bike. This is for a little girl. Oh listen, I got to get this stuff back in so I can lock up the van.

Russell

We'll put everything away. Will you get going please, will you hurry?

Lennie Pike

Oh, okay...I gotta admit. I feel kinda silly. You know what I mean? [nonetheless pedals away on the bicycle]

Papa Smurf

It doesn't matter where you came from. What matters is who you choose to be.

Papa Smurf

Time to smurf some magic. Let's see.There you are. Mimosa pollen. [laughs] Yes, tiger lily to make her essence magical and blue. Unless this spell be all for naught, the final thing, one hopeful thought.

Papa Smurf

Life is the most precious thing to protect.

Plucky

"Uh, hey, Is it just me, or is it hot in here? How bout' a little A.C., huh?"

Wade

"Air conditioning wastes gas. I'll just crack a window."

Winnie

"Don't you dare, Wade! People will think we can't afford air conditioning!"

Plucky

"So long. Sayonara, and good riddance. At least I don't have to live through that again."

Wade

"Hold on, Plucky. You haven't seen the slideshow of our trip."

Plucky

"SLIDESHOW?!?!?"

Hamton

Oh, look! The parking lot at HappyWorldLand!

Wade

And that's the last slide.