[First lines; the car is on the run. The driver is non other than the elderly criminal Smiler Grogan. He passed the other cars and a truck and jumped off the side of the hilly road, and crashed down below. All the cars pull over one by one, the men quickly jump out in shock at having just witnessed everything]
Whoa! Hey d-did ya see it, the way he went sailing right out there? He just went sailing right out there.
It was terrible, I m-a-mean just terrible. He musta been doin' over eighty ya know.
An ambulance - we better, we oughta call an ambulance.
Dingy Bell Oh...Oh look at that car.
[The group starts bickering and talking over one another]
He went sailing right out there.
Dingy Bell How 'bout you doin' ninety miles an hour?
I wasn't doin' - he was passin' me.
Dingy Bell We weren't standin' still when he passed us...
I never saw such a crazy guy in my life!...
Come on, let's get down there!
[The group immediately starts scrambling down the rocky hill] [to Emmeline and Mrs. Marcus]
W...We're gonna go down there, you stay in the car.
E Emmeline
Now Russell, be careful, remember your condition.
[gestures her hand with disdain]
Eh.
[to himself]
Ooh, boy the way he just sailed out there. [follows down after the group]
SG Smiler Grogan
[while dying]
Look, there's this dough see. There's all this dough. Three hundred and fifty g's! Do you hear what I'm saying? Three hundred and fifty g's! In the park. Rosita. Rosita Beach State Park. Just south of Daygo in Santa Rosita. It's in this box, buried under this... [continuing after coughing in his injured state] ...buried under this big W. You'll see it! You'll see it under this big W. You can't miss it! A big, big, W! And it's been there. And it's been laying there for fifteen years! Watch out. Watch out for the bulls. Lousy, stinking bulls are everywhere. Bulls all over the place. You just drive down and dig it up. Dig it all up. And then - and then you fix yourselves all up. Fix yourselves all up. Walk down the street like a king, back to the old neighborhood. See the fellas, the dames - the dames, all with a big hello - a big hello for old Smiler. Good old Smiler, everybody's friend. [lies his head down, almost dead. Benjy takes his hat off, until he jolts awake and grabs Melville's jacket] Aunt Belle, I didn't mean to do it!
Holy mackerel, take it easy, mister!
SG Smiler Grogan
[last words]
Please! Please say it don't make any difference, Aunt Belle! Please! You gotta say! You gotta tell me it don't make any difference!
Dingy Bell For heaven's sake, tell him.
It - It don't make any difference.
[Smiler Grogan groans, finally passes away, and kicks the bucket - literally, stunning the men]
That guy is dead. You better believe it.
Oh, I believe it all right, but if he jumps up again like he did before, I'm gonna get the hell out of here.
Look! We've figured it seventeen different ways, and every time we figured it, it was no good, because no matter how we figured it, somebody don't like the way we figured it! So now, there's only one way to figure it. And that is, every man, including the old bag, for himself!
Dingy Bell And may the best man win!
Right! [points to Mrs. Marcus] Except you, lady! You can just DROP DEAD!!!
All right, now we all agree on that. Now look, let's be sensible about this thing. There's money in this for all of us. Right? There's enough for you, there's enough for you, and for me, and for you, and there's enough for...
[They all race to their cars]
AT Air Traffic Control Tower Staffer
If you can, give us your position. Who is flying the plane?
Dingy Bell [Benji is at the controls]
What do you mean "who's flying the plane"?! Nobody's flying the plane!
[Benji scowls at Ding]
[Last lines; after they got injured by the ladder and putting the men into the prison hospital with bandages and casts] [to Culpeper]
It's all your fault, It's your fault right from beginning to end!
You know, even for a policeman, your behavior was ruddy outrageous!
Yeah, you could have taken a fair share like the rest of us, but no! You just had to go and grab up the whole scene, baby.
Dingy Bell We had 350,000 bucks right in our hands.
Dingy Bell [groans]
Oh, shut up!
I wish I knew what they're going to do to us. But no matter what happens to us... [turns to Culpeper] ...what happens to you, I hope will be worse!
I don't think you have to worry about that. My wife is divorcing me; my mother in-law is suing me for damages; my daughter is petitioning the court to get her name changed; my pension has been revoked, and the ONLY reason, that you ten idiots will very likely get off lightly, is because the judge will have me up there...to throw the book at!
2C 2nd Cabbie
Awww...that's tough! [laughs along with the 3rd Cabbie who smiles to Culpeper]
I'd like to think that sometime, maybe 10 or 20 years from now, there will be something that I could laugh at, anything.
[Benjy finished eating the banana and throws the banana peel on the floor. Mrs. Marcus, Emmeline and Monica enter the hospital room, wearing blue prison dresses] [yelling at the bandaged men]
Now see here, you idiots, it's all your fault, because if you hadn't...! [slips on the banana peel and falls back-first on the floor]
[All the hospitalized men, except Sylvester and Culpeper, burst out laughing uproariously] [yelling while being put on the stretcher and taken away by the doctors]
Don't you dare touch me! Get away from me! Let me go! Leave me alone...!!!
[Then Culpeper joins the laughter]
