Wet Hot American Summer (2001) · 33 quotes
Most-quoted character in Wet Hot American Summer (2001): in 11 of its 33 quotes
Most scenes with: Gary (4), Andy (3), Lindsay (3)
Excuse me, ladies. You may remember me as the guy who came to dinner a few weeks ago with underwear on my head. My name is Keith Stat from Millburn, New Jersey. State bird, the mosquito. And as you may have heard I am recently a crowned class B dungeon-master. So if any of you would like to play D&D today, please speak now or forever hold your peace. Anyone? Alexa! Maybe you would like to join in? We do need a druid, and you have definitely cast a level 5 charm spell on me. (Alexa: In your dreams, douche-bag!) Douche-bags are hygienic products, I take that as a compliment. Thank you.
Mallrat Girl There's got to be another way.
Cure Girl Maybe we should just let them all die.
No! My friend Jimmy's in there!
Cure Girl You have a friend?
I'm kidding.
...I've seen more **** up shit out there in five minutes than you've seen in your whole life.
Well, I'm sorry Gene, and if I could change history I would, but-
**** you! Now we need fifteen gallons of bug juice by snack time, do you know where the powder packets are?
Yeah.
In the pantry above the sink, right next to my bottle of dick cream, Wait... Forget that last comment.
Did you say dick cream?
No! I said ... stick... team, you know stick team! Stickball! Go away leave me alone!
You French great.
You're not so bad yourself, Mr. Man.
Now finish up them taters, I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.
Come on - what?
Finish up the taters.
And then what did you say?
And then what did I say?
You said you were going to... fondle your sweaters.
Ah, uh - no I didn't. I said fondue with cheddar, I was thinking about making fondue with cheddar cheese for dinner tonight.
No Gene, that is not what you said.
That is what I said. Fondue with cheddar.
J.J. He gets so uncomfortable whenever we talk openly about sexual issues. You know he's never been with a girl before.
McKinley needs to experience "The Ultimate" And I think you know what I'm talking about.
J.J. You mean, penis-in-vagina?
No, dickhead. Sex.
Hey Beth, like the new look. Tres chic
Thank you, Henry...
Please, call me Henry.
Okay, Henry it is.
Hey, what'cha writin on?
My gurnal. I write my thoughts in it every day.
Oh, you mean a journal?
Yeah, whatever. Guess I'm not all smart like you.
You guys, I'm really gonna miss this place.
Me, too.
Ben Hey, let's all promise that in ten years from today, we'll meet again, and we'll see what kind of people we've blossomed into.
Yeah!
Ben What time do you wanna meet?
J.J. You mean ten years from now?
Ben Yeah.
Let's meet in the morning so we can make a day of it.
Okay, so what is it? Is it like 9:00 or 9:30?
Well, let's say 9:00, that way we can be here by 9:30.
Well, no, why don't we say 9:30, and then make it your beeswax to be here at 9:30? I mean, we're all gonna be in our late 20s by then. I just don't see any reason why we can't be places on time.
Okay, then, it's settled. 9:30 it is. All agreed?
Agreed.
Great, 'cause I have something at 11:00.
You've just got like a trapper-keeper full of appointments, right?
No, I just, I have something at 11:00, and I can't change it, because I already moved it twice.
Well, I just wanna spend some time with you, you know? It's our last day at camp.
My butt itches.
What are you talking about. Hey, we're soulmates right?
What? Yeah, whatever, if you want... J.J. save me a waffle man!
Hey you, penny for your thoughts.
Beth, tomorrow is the least of our problems.
Don't tell me, Oh don't tell me, don't even tell me you have crabs!
No... Well, yes, but that's not the point.
