So, we're going to the lodge?
Porter I think I have an answer to your question; Are you out of your juice-drinking little minds?!
5th most-quoted character in Unaccompanied Minors (2006): in 4 of its 23 quotes
Most scenes with: Charlie Goldfinch (2), Donna (2)
Scenes with Porter
4 scenes Porter 
So where are we staying?
Porter What's wrong with right here?
It smells like a horse died in it.
Watch it, Dr. Evil.
Porter Oh no, did I offend you? Well, I don't know what else to call someone who commits grand theft auto, reckless driving and destruction of property all in the course of ten minutes.
Someone cooler than you'll ever be.
Porter Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho! Whoo! That's fantastic! I didn't know we had Ellen DeGeneres in the house! [to Spencer] And what about a young man who orders the heart attack special and can't pay for it? [to Grace] Or a girl who exfoliates herself all over the airport lounge? [to Beef] Then, the abominable snowman who transforms the Emergency Equipment Center into his own private amusement park and then blames it on Aquaman? Aren't you a little too old to be playing with dolls? I mean, what are you, like, forty?
Zach
Actually, Beef is twelve, sir.
Porter Good Lord. And Charlie Goldfinch, my most frequent underage flyer, and formerly model passenger. Karaoke, son? Was it worth it?
I had a song in my heart. [Mr. Porter gives him a look] Oh my gosh, I'm a juvie.
Porter Please tell me you're gonna stop at the hotel!
Yeah, we are, but you're not!
