Iceman The plaque for the alternates is down in the ladies room.
Played by Val Kilmer 
Top Gun (1986) · 60 quotes
Top Gun (1986) · 60 quotes
Tied for 3rd most-quoted character in Top Gun (1986): in 9 of its 60 quotes
Most scenes with: Maverick (6), Goose (5), Charlie (2)
Maverick, it's not your flying, it's your attitude. The enemy's dangerous, but right now you're worse than the enemy: you're dangerous and foolish. You may not like the guys flying with you, they may not like you. But whose side are you on?
More lines from Iceman
2 quotes Iceman Iceman Wow, you guys really are cowboys.
Scenes with Iceman
6 scenes
Excuse me, Lieutenant. Is there something wrong?
Yes ma'am, the data on the MiG is inaccurate.
How's that, Lieutenant?
Well, I just happened to see a MiG 28 do a...
We!
Uh, sorry Goose. WE happened to see a MiG 28 do a 4G negative dive.
Where did you see this?
Uh, that's classified.
It's what?
It's classified. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
So, lieutenant, where exactly were you?
Well, WE...
Thank you.
Started up on his six, when he pulled in through the clouds, and then I moved in above him.
Well, if you were directly above him, how could you see him?
Because I was inverted.
Iceman [coughs whilst saying]
Bullshit.
No, he was, man, it was a really great move.
You were in a 4G inverted dive with a Mig 28?
Yes, ma'am.
At what range?
Um, about two meters.
It was actually about one and a half I think. It was one and a half. I've got a great Polaroid of it, and he's right there, must be one and a half.
It was a nice picture.
Thanks.
Eh, lieutenant, what were you doing there?
Communicating.
Communicating. Keeping up foreign relations. You know, giving him the bird?
Yes, I know the finger, Goose.
Sorry. I hate when it does that.
Yes, ma'am.
Yeeha, Jester's dead!
Won? That's bullshit!
Didn't everybody?
Hell no, man. We got our butts kicked.
Thirty seconds. We went like this, he went like that. I said to Hollywood, "Where'd he go?" Hollywood says, "Where'd who go?"
Yeah, and he's laughing at us, right on the radio, he's laughing at us.
No, it's me laughing, dickhead. We won!
Pilots
All right! [Handshakes exchanged]
They won too, man. [points to Maverick and Goose]
Iceman That's not what I heard.
We did man. We got Jester-
No, no, below the hard deck does not count.
Hard deck my ass. We nailed that son of a bitch. [gives Goose a high five]
Iceman Wow, you guys really are cowboys.
Iceman [Slams helmet locker's door and faces Maverick]
You're everyone's problem. That's because every time you go up in the air, you're unsafe. I don't like you because you're dangerous.
That's right! Ice...man. I am dangerous. [Iceman bites]
Maverick. [Maverick and Goose look at him], you and Goose get your butts outta that flight gear and up to Viper's office now. [Heads out of the locker room]
Remember, boys, no points for second place.
You're a lot brighter than you look-
Oh, you shut up.
It's the bottom of the 9th, the score is tied its time for the big one.
Iceman You think you can handle that Maverick?
It's just a walk in the park Kazanski.
Iceman You! You are still dangerous. [smiles] You can be my wingman any time.
Bullshit! You can be mine.
Iceman Sorry to hear about Cougar. He and I were like brothers in flight school. He was a good man.
Still is a good man.
Iceman Yeah, that's what I meant. [pause] You need any help?
With what?
Iceman You figured it out yet?
What's that?
Iceman Who's the best pilot.
You know, I think I can figure that one out on my own.
Iceman I heard that about you. You like to work alone.
Mav, you must've sold under a lucky star, huh? I mean, first the MiG, and then you guys slide into Cougar's spot.
We didn't slide into Cougar's spot. It was ours, okay?
Yeah, well, some pilots wait their whole career just to see a MiG up close. Guess you guys are lucky and famous, huh?
Iceman No, you mean notorious. See you later.
You can count on it.
[At the preflight briefing, Charlie talks about what is currently known about the MiG-28]
We will be dealing with F-5s and A-4s as our MiG simulators. Now then, as most of you know, the F-5 doesn’t have the thrust to weight ratio that the MiG-28 has and it doesn’t bleed energy below 300 knots like the MiG-28. However the MiG-28 does have a problem with its inverted flight tank, it won’t do a Negative G push-over. The latest intelligence tells us that the most it will do is 1 Negative- [notices Goose and Maverick are whispering to each other] [to Maverick] Excuse me, Lieutenant. Is there something wrong?
Yes ma’am, the data on the MiG is inaccurate.
How’s that, Lieutenant?
Well I just happened to see a MiG-28—
We!
Sorry, Goose. We happened to see a MiG-28 do a 4G Negative dive.
Where did you see this?
That’s classified.
It’s classified. I could tell you but then I’d have to kill you.
Lieutenant, I have Top Secret clearance. The Pentagon sees to it that I know more than you.
Well ma’am, it doesn’t seem so in this case, now does it?
So, Lieutenant, where exactly were you?
Well, [glances to Goose] we..
Started up on his 6 when he pulled through the clouds then I moved in above him.
Well if you were directly above him, how could you see him?
Because I was inverted.
Iceman [Fake cough]
Bullshit.
You were in a 4G inverted dive with a MiG-28?
Yes, ma’am.
At what range?
Um [turns to Goose] about 2 metres?
Well it’s actually about 1 1/2, I think. I’ve got a great Polaroid of it, he’s right there. Must be 1 1/2.
Uh, Lieutenant, what were you doing there?
Communicating.
Communicating. Keeping up foreign relations. I was, you know, giving him the bird.
Yes, I know the finger, Goose.
I’m sorry, I hate it when it does that. [Embarrassed] Excuse me.
Yes, ma'am.
Other characters in Top Gun
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