Chris Knight [to a girl at a party]
Don't eat that. Don't you know that eating that can give you very large breasts? [looks down at her chest] Oh my God, I'm too late!
Played by Val Kilmer 
Real Genius (1985) · 78 quotes
Real Genius (1985) · 78 quotes
Most-quoted character in Real Genius (1985): in 47 of its 78 quotes
Most scenes with: Mitch Taylor (7), Professor Hathaway (6), Kent Torokvei (5)
Ok, calm down, let's just take a step back... No wait, take a step forward... Now take a step back... And a step forward.. And now we're Cha Cha-ing.
More lines from Chris Knight
19 quotes Chris Knight Chris Knight Do you mind if I name my first child after you? "Dipshit Knight" has a nice ring to it.
Chris Knight Self-realization. I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, "I drank what?"
Chris Knight [Looking at Dr. Meredith's bunny slippers, then his own]
...May I take this opportunity to compliment you on your fashion sense, particularly your slippers.
Chris Knight Moles and trolls, moles and trolls, work, work, work, work, work. We never see the light of day. We plan this thing for weeks and all they want to do is study. I'm disgusted. I'm sorry but it's not like me, I'm depressed. There was what, no one at the mutant hamster races and we had one entry into the Madame Curie look-alike contest and he was disqualified later. Why do I bother?
Chris Knight First, you have to get even with Kent. It's a moral imperative.
Chris Knight When you're smart, people need you. You can use your mind creatively.
Chris Knight [to Mitch, as he is hanging upside down]
Would you prepared if gravity reversed itself? The only thing I can't figure out is how to keep the change in my pockets. I've got it. Nudity.
Chris Knight This? This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated.
Chris Knight Oh, Kent, that is so unfair! And we were going to make you King of the Winter Carnival.
Chris Knight Welcome to Pacific Tech's "Smart People on Ice".
Chris Knight You see Mitch, I used to be you, and lately I've been missing me so I asked Dr. Hathaway if I could room with me again and he said sure.
Chris Knight Oh my god! It's heading for the gas tanks! DUCK!!... Would you classify that as a launch problem or a design problem?
Chris Knight [to prospective employers]
I'm sorry. It's just that I didn't want you guys to think I was stuffy. You know, no fun. All brain no penis.
Chris Knight Telstar! Wow! Isn't that the satellite that's raining debris all over Europe?
Chris Knight Put simply, in deference to you Kent, it's like lasing a stick of dynamite.
Chris Knight It's easy to lie to you, Mitch, you trust people. I'm a cynic.
Chris Knight Relax. That's just the fuses at the substation, they'll have it back on in a minute. Maybe I shouldn't have shorted across the building transformer. But more important: did we get a charge?
Chris Knight Okay, given the kind of people you are and the environment you're in, you have to admit the strong probability that this could be the only time in your entire lives to have sex.
Scenes with Chris Knight
27 scenes Chris Knight No seriously, listen...if there's ever anything I can do for you, or more to the point, to you, you let me know, okay?
Susan Decker Can you hammer a six inch spike through a board with your penis?
Chris Knight Not right now.
Susan Decker A girl's got to have her standards.
Chris Knight I'm sorry, but have you ever seen a body like this before in your life?
David Decker
She happens to be my daughter.
Chris Knight Oh. Then I guess you have.
You know, when I first brought you into this school I thought you'd become another Einstein. And you were well on your way. And then?
Chris Knight I got a haircut.
You're disappointing me, Chris.
Chris Knight And you, me Jerry.
I want to see more of you around the lab.
Chris Knight Fine. I'll gain weight.
Jerry Hathaway
You're a very funny boy, Chris.
Chris Knight Thanks, Jerry. We try.
Dr. Dodd Why is that toy on your head?
Chris Knight Because if I wear it any place else, it chafes.
Chris Knight I'm sorry, it was just an infantile response to authority.
Recruiter Yes. You are Chris Knight, aren't you?
Chris Knight I hope so. I'm wearing his underwear.
Chris Knight Did you touch anything?
Uh, no.
Chris Knight Good. Because all of my filth is arranged in alphabetical order. This, for instance, is under 'H' for 'toy.'
What is it?
Chris Knight A penis-stretcher. Wanna try it?
No!
Chris Knight I'm kidding. It's yet another in a long series of diversions in an attempt to avoid responsibility.
Chris Knight Kent put his name on his license plate.
My mother does that to my underwear.
Chris Knight Your mother puts license plates in your underwear? How do you sit?
You still run?
Chris Knight Only when chased.
Something strange happened to me this morning.
Chris Knight Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?
No.
Chris Knight Why am I the only person that has that dream?
Jerry Hathaway
To graduate, dear boy, you need my class. So it seems I have something to say about what you do and where you go.
Chris Knight OK, if you think that by threatening me, you can get me to be your slave, well... that's where you're right, but - and I'm only saying this because I care - there are a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market today that are just as tasty as the real thing.
Jerry Hathaway
I'm not kidding, Chris.
Chris Knight Neither am I, Jerry.
You're all just a bunch of degenerates!
Chris Knight We are? What about that time I found you naked with that bowl of Jello?
You did not!
Chris Knight This is true.
I was hot and I was hungry.
Chris Knight [Kent opens his dorm room door to find his car inside]
Kent isn't that your car?
Kent, you know you're not supposed to park that on campus.
You did this, Knight.
Chris Knight I had help.
[Points to Mitch, who waves]
I'm gonna get you guys. Dr. Hathaway's gonna hear all about this. You know, you'll rue the day!
Chris Knight "Rue the day?" Who talks like that?
Chris Knight Ick, this ice is great! How did you do it?
Ick
Oh sure, I tell you, you tell someone else and the next thing you know, we're in the middle of another ice age.
Well, who's gonna clean it up?
Ick
You don't have to. It goes from solid form directly to gas.
Whoa! What is it?
Ick
I'm not saying. But I can tell you that it's fairly rare and very unstable.
Chris Knight Just like you, Kent.
'Ick: It worked! Now if we can just keep it from exploding.
Kent: Explo-?
Chris Knight [runs into his room] [coughing, as the hall fills with vapor]
Hey Ick, you were just kidding about exploding, right? Ick?
Did you know there's a guy living in our closet?
Chris Knight You've seen him too?
Who is he?
Chris Knight Hollyfeld.
Why does he keep going into our closet?
Chris Knight Why do you keep going into our closet?
To get my clothes - but that's not why he goes in there.
Chris Knight Of course not, he's twice your size - your clothes would never fit him.
Yeah...
Chris Knight Think before you ask these questions, Mitch. Twenty points higher than me? Thinks a big guy like that can wear his clothes?
Chris Knight [Chris is holding a lab beaker with pink liquid in it]
Here Mitch taste this for me. Come on, you won't hurt my feelings... What, too sweet?
No... what is it?
Chris Knight I don't know, I found it in one of the labs.
Chris Knight [Mitch starts to gag and wipe out his mouth]
I'm just kidding. It's yogurt. See? Mmmmm...
Chris Knight Hey, Lazlo... Lazlo?
Oh, that's me. Hello.
Chris Knight I'm such an asshole.
I understand how you feel, Chris. And you're right.
How did you do?
Chris Knight I passed... but I failed.
Then I'm happy... and sad for you.
My condolences on your meltdown, Knight.
Chris Knight What meltdown, Kent?
I'm not saying you had one, because how would I know? But just in case you do.
Chris Knight You slime!
It's your own fault, Knight. Didn't anyone ever tell you to make sure your optics are clean?
Chris Knight You are very beautiful.
Sherry Nugel
Thank you. You certainly don't act like one of the top ten minds in America.
Chris Knight Oh, really? How many of them have you met?
Sherry Nugel
Seven. You'll be eight. Professor Hostetler at M.I.T. was number six.
Chris Knight Old Professor Hostetler? Isn't he dead?
Sherry Nugel
He is now.
Chris Knight I have advanced your project more than any three students on campus.
Jerry Hathaway
That was yesterday. What have you done for me today?
I thought you might need some help with the test, so I dug into the computer and got every question Hathaway ever asked on every final he's ever given.
Chris Gee, I, I didn't get you anything. Are those they?
No. These are entries into the Frito-Lay Sweepstakes. "No purchase necessary, enter as often as you want" - so I am.
Chris That's great! How many times?
Well, this batch makes it one million six hundred and fifty thousand. I should win thirty-two point six percent of the prizes, including the car.
Chris That kind of takes the fun out of it, doesn't it?
They set up the rules, and lately I've come to realize that I have certain materialistic needs.
Chris So, um, where are the questions?
I memorized them.
Chris Knight If you want to leave, go ahead. But you're going to miss out on all the fun.
What fun?
Chris Knight Ick invented a new virus and we're going to release in Kent's room.
Jerry Hathaway
I want five megawatts by mid-May. Look, I don't care if you're arrogant. I don't care if you're disrespectful. But your attitude's distracting Mitch, and that I won't have. The rules have changed. I want it by mid-May.
Chris Knight I think that you're just forgetting about one little detail, and that's that I am out of here. I'm gone, I'm history, I'm Casper, I'm graduating.
Jerry Hathaway
To graduate, you need my course, dear boy. So it seems I have something to say about what you do and where you go. So from now on you and Mitch are going to spend every waking moment in the lab. You will solve my power problem, and you will solve it by my deadline.
Chris Knight OK, if you think that by threatening me, you can get me to be your slave, well... that's where you're right, but - and I'm only saying this because I care - there are a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market today that are just as tasty as the real thing.
Jerry Hathaway
I'm not kidding, Chris.
Chris Knight Neither am I, Jerry.
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