Madmartigan quotes from Willow (1988)

Madmartigan

Goodbye, Sticks. If you really are a princess, take care of him.

Madmartigan

Well my mother raised me on blackroot. It's good for you. It puts hair on your chest, doesn't it, Sticks?

Madmartigan

Let me out of here, Airk. Give me a sword, I'll win this war for you.

Madmartigan

Get your hair out of my face or I'll chop it off.

Madmartigan

Ooh, I'm really scared. No! Don't! There's a- a peck here with an acorn pointed at me!

Willow:

Don't call me a peck!

Madmartigan:

Oh, I'm sorry! Peck! Peck! Peck, peck, peck, peck, peck, peck, peck!

Willow:

We need your help!

Madmartigan:

My help? Why would you need my help? You're a sorcerer.

Willow:

You're a great warrior! And a swordsman!... And you're ten times bigger than I am, stupid!

Willow:

Madmartigan, you never, ever drive that fast with an infant!

Madmartigan:

I just saved that infant's life!

Willow:

What's that?

Madmartigan:

Smells like a battle.

Willow:

I suppose you're a warrior.

Madmartigan:

I am the greatest swordsman that ever lived. Say, um, can I have some of that water?

Madmartigan:

Did I really... Did I really say those things, last night, in your tent?

Sorsha:

You said you loved me.

Madmartigan:

I don't remember that.

Sorsha:

You lied to me.

Madmartigan:

No, I... I just wasn't myself last night.

Sorsha:

I suppose my power enchanted you and you were helpless against it.

Madmartigan:

Sort of.

Sorsha:

Then what?

Madmartigan:

It... went away.

Sorsha:

Went away? 'I dwell in darkness without you' and it went away?

Madmartigan:

What the hell happened up there?

Willow:

You started spouting poetry. 'I love you Sorsha! I worship you Sorsha!' You almost got us killed!

Madmartigan:

'I love you Sorsha?' I don't love her, she kicked me in the face! I hate her... Don't I?

Madmartigan:

What are you going to look like if this works?

Fin Raziel:

Don't interrupt.

Madmartigan:

Sorry.

Fin Raziel:

I'm a young beautiful woman.

Madmartigan:

Concentrate, Willow!

Madmartigan:

She is kinda cute... When she's quiet.

Willow:

She's really a princess.

Madmartigan:

Really? And you're a great sorcerer... And I'm the king of Cashmir. Go to sleep, Willow.

Sorsha:

What are you looking at?

Madmartigan:

Your leg. I'd like to break it.

Llug:

Wanna breed?

Madmartigan:

Tempting... but no.

Madmartigan

Well, looks like I got ya here.

Franjean

You? What did you do?

Rool

All you did was hang around, and eat our eggs! Eh?

Willow

I found a boat, we're all set!

Madmartigan

Good. Take these lizards out and drown'em!

Franjean

Lizards?!? Who're you calling lizards?!? (Franjean and Rool growl threateningly)

Rool

You're mother was a lizard!