[at a campsite in Green Hills, Montana, Miles Prower, a.k.a. Tails, a yellow-orange and white fox with two tails, gets into a ready stance, narrowing his blue eyes. On the left beside him, Knuckles, a red echidna, does the same, narrowing his purple eyes. In a rubber duck float, diving flippers, and sunglasses, Sonic, a blue hedgehog, walks in the middle of his friends while eating a chilli dog] [mouth full]
Wait a second. I thought we were going tubing. Hold on, hold on, is this a race?
It is my destiny to claim the throne of Family Champion, hedgehog!
Ha-ha, cute! Are you sure you wanna challenge the fastest creature in the universe? I mean, that's kinda my whole brand. [spins out of his floatie and removes his flippers and sunglasses] Okay, Tom and Maddie, count us down!
Tom Right! [to Maddie] Don't worry, a little sibling rivalry is healthy. Me and my brothers used to do this kind of thing all the time.
Tom, your brothers are lunatics and neither of them were born with the power to trigger a global, cataclysmic event, so...
Tom That's a fair point. Did you hear that, boys? No cataclysmic events, alright? Let's try to keep this cataclysmic-less.
Understood, Lord of the Donuts!
Then, on your marks, get set, go! [Team Sonic takes off fast]
And way out in front, to the surprise of absolutely no one, it's the Blue Blur, the Red-Shoed Rocket, the one, the only--
[flies above]
Come on, Sonic, catch up! Yeah! [flies ahead]
[running ahead]
I am also defeating you, hedgehog!
Seriously? Alright, you know what? Time to light the afterburners! [accelerates past, grinding up a fallen tree] Look! It's a bird, it's a plane, it's Air Hedgehog! [passing the Goal Plate, dancing] Yes! I did it! I... [sees Tails and Knuckles tapping their feet] lost?! How is that even possible? I did not lose!
I am also defeating you, hedgehog.
Okay, okay, I get it, man. No need to rub it in.
Come on, Sonic, catch up! Yeah!
[getting Déjà vu]
Wait, what's going on?
[Sonic distorts Tails' face upon touching it and yelps in shock. He does the same to Knuckles' face.]
Why are you guys acting like... [looks up, sees Tails' hologram projectors] Holograms! Which means I remain the undefeated speed champion of all time! Yeees! And the crowd goes wild! But also, what's going on? [hurries back to the campsite to see a surprise birthday party waiting before him]
TM Tom, Maddie, Tails, & Knuckles
Surprise!
Wait a second, you guys, what is all this? [points to the banner] "Happy B-Arthur Day"?
No, it's "Happy B-Earth-day."
Tom Today's the anniversary of the day you came to Earth, bud. It's your Earth Day birthday.
So, the race was just a distraction, which I totally didn't fall for, by the way, good try, though, so you could throw a party for me?
Today we honor you, hedgehog.
If it wasn't for you, none of us would be here right now.
Tom The boys are right, bud. Y'know, the day you came to this planet is the day all our lives changed forever.
O Ozzy
[barks, subtitled]
You stole my hoomans.
You guys, I don't, I don't know what to say, except... Let's party! [high-fives Tom]
It's now on 'til the break of dawn!
Thanks for the surprise party. It really means a lot to me.
Tom Ah, you deserve it, pal.
[sees something in the distance]
No way, is that...? [runs off]
Tom [walking after him]
Wha-- Dude, just for once, walk at my speed.
Tom [Tom drops down into Sonic's old cave from the first film.]
Whoa, Sonic, this is your...
Tom Oh, man, I can't believe this is where you lived all those years.
(re: nunchaku)
Heh-hey! My state-of-the-art security system! [flails them around and hits himself, again like in the first film] Still works.
Tom Hey, bud. what's this? [finds a drawing of young Sonic and Longclaw]
Wow. You know, I drew that on my first night on Earth. I wanted to remember where I came from. I still miss her. You think Longclaw would be proud of me?
Tom I know she would, pal. Because even though you lost her at such a young age, you didn't let your pain change who you are... in here. [points at Sonic's chest]
Tom [amused]
Or your heart.
Heart, right. Yeah, makes more sense. Not lungs, heart.
Tom That's the thing about life, Sonic, it's all about the choices we make. You're gonna make some good ones, and... knowing you, you're gonna make some bad ones. [Sonic innocuously rolls his eyes] But, as long as you remember to listen to your heart, you're gonna make the right choice when it matters the most.
Thanks. I don't know what I'd do without you. [cut to Shadow miserably marching in the rain in Tokyo] I'd probably be a totally different hedgehog.
Tom [The Wachowskis' living room is cluttered with signs of various activities, from loaves of bread, a knitting set, to a painting of Ozzy. Tom, dressed in a "Donut Lord" sweater, finishes building a model Taj Mahal at the table.]
And done! Masterpiece. Look at that.
Yay! [wearing an "All or Muffin" apron, she brings more bread and joins Tom on the sofa.] It's really been great having time to ourselves.
Tom Right? Absolutely, I just feel so relaxed. You know, clear-headed?
Look at all these new interests we found.
Tom I've got so many hobbies.
Tom After the action and adventure of the last few years, I could get used to this.
[Suddenly, the room starts to shake. The bread pans wobble, puzzles break apart, and the model Taj Mahal comes tumbling down. A ring appears, and Team Sonic emerges, still chained up, with Knuckles in front.]
Tom, Maddie, we need your help on a super… Knuckles, do you mind?
Oh, excuse me. [turns around so Sonic faces Tom and Maddie]
(Thank you.)
Tom, Maddie, we need your help on a super dangerous, top-secret mission!
Tom [Tom and Maddie mull it over.]
Thank God.
Tom [both getting up]
Yeah, we're in.
Really? You're in, just like that?
Tom Yeah.
[same time]
Yes. It was getting so boring without you guys here.
Tom [overlapping]
So boring.
Tom No, none taken. [to Team Sonic] I mean, whatever crazy plan you're cooking up, the answer's yes.
Great! But first thing's first, what is that? [points to a ventriloquist puppet of Tom with Sergeant Sprinkles. Tom picks it up off the floor. Maddie is unamused.]
Tom Oh, this is... [puts on a high-pitched voice] Little Tom! [in normal voice] Isn't he great?
[Team Sonic is too stunned to speak.]
I told you to get rid of that. It's very creepy.
Tom [as Little Tom]
I told him to get rid of you. [in normal voice] Okay, that's going a bit too far...
You're in so much trouble.
[sets his Miles Electric on the living room table, creating a hologram of G.U.N. HQ.]
Okay, this is it, the belly of the beast: G.U.N. headquarters in London.
Aw, Tom, we're finally gonna get to see London together...!
Tom Hey, I told you we'd get there someday, baby.
Okay, so here's the plan! I run in super fast, fly over that water, no problem, then right when I get to the-- [his hologram turns to ash upon running into G.U.N. HQ's shield, leaving only his shoes behind.] AAAH! What just happened?
Congratulations, you just got incinerated by their energy shield. We'll need to shut it down by planting a USB drive in their server room. That will give me full control over it. (re: Tom and Maddie) That's what we need you two for.
Tom A couple bad-**** spies, that's what we are.
Mr. and Mrs. Smith. [fist bumps Tom]
Once we disable the shield, you'll face... the laser hall. These high-density bad boys will cut you into tiny pieces. And cut those pieces into even tinier pieces.
Once again... AAH! Can't we just get Tom Cruise to do this?
Nope, because not even he could break into... the vault.
Why is it empty in there?
Because we have no idea what's on the other side of that door. To prevent the vault from ever being accessed by a ring, all images and schematics have been wiped from G.U.N.'s database. So, for the last leg of this heist...
Tom [as Little Tom]
We're goin' in blind. [off Maddie's look, quietly] Sorry.
Okay, I'm just gonna say it. It sounds like this plan would work a heck of a lot better if Sonic used the Master Emerald to go golden god mode to get the key.
No way, Maddie. The Master Emerald is too powerful to ever use again. We made a promise to each other to keep it hidden.
In a location only Knuckles knows.
As Guardian of the Master Emerald, anyone who tries to take it away for any reason will become a sworn enemy.
Okay-okay, sheesh, no need to get all growly on me, buddy.
You guys are always telling us to make good choices. Well, this is the right choice.
Tom Okay! I guess we're going to...
[Sonic sits on top of the London Eye capsule and immediately gets impatient, speaking into his comm with his friends and family.]
Guys? Are you ready for me yet? I've been waiting here all day.
[Tails flies to the roof of 20 Fenchurch Street, setting up his Miles Electric.]
Sonic, we literally just started! Tom, Maddie, are you in position and ready?
Tom [On the ground, Tom and Maddie scout G.U.N. HQ with binoculars, dressed in G.U.N. soldier attires.]
We were born ready.
[kneels over one of Big Ben's gargoyles]
I have taken my perch atop the giant clock. Now, where is this glass I'm supposed to break?
Actually, Knucks, your job is to "break glass in case of emergency".
Understood. I will shatter this glass like the jaw of a vile foe.
I will pulverize it like the skull of a loathsome rival!
Just to be clear, the emergency is the important part.
The glass will beg for mercy under the shadow of my mighty fist!
Tom Guys, remember, we're a team. Now, let's focus.
You know what? Let's move on.
All right, everyone knows what to do. Tom and Maddie, you guys plant the USB drive. I'll disable the traps. Sonic will snag the launch key. And Knuckles, you stand by to...
[eagerly puts his fists together]
Break glass in case of emergency.
[to Tom]
Then we're all set.
Tom Hologram time. [hands her a Tails-made disguiser] You go first.
[clicks her disguiser, turning her into a hologram version of Rachel, speaking with her voice]
Tom! It's me, Rachel. Can you believe it? We're both in London together!
Tom Have you met your sister? Try again. Unless... you're not up for this mission? Yeah, maybe you wanna be back in Green Hills baking sourdough and--
[grabs Tom by the collar, acting abrasive]
Thomas Michael Wachowski! You brought aliens to my wedding, punched up my husband, and buried me in an avalanche. Your day of reckoning is at hand! (Better?)
Tom [strained, scared]
Yeah, that's perfect. [after being let go] Okay, now for her better half. [clicks his disguiser, turning into Randall Handel and admires the size of his own arms] Hoo-hoo, my name is Randall, and I am too much to "Handel". [flexes] Welcome to the gun show! ["Rachel" nods along] Baby, would you describe me as jacked, juiced or shredded?
I would describe your head as swollen. Let's get to work.
Tom [Tom, disguised as Randall, and Maddie, disguised as Rachel, enter G.U.N. HQ, marching to the agent at the front desk.]
Agent Randall Handel. I'm here to have lunch with my lovely wife Rachel.
FD Front Desk Agent
Oh, I'm sorry, Agent Handel, this facility's currently locked down. Command-level clearance only.
Tom One minute. [turns away, whispering into her comm] Tails, we have a problem here.
They must've tightened security after Shadow's escape.
I got this. [to the front desk agent] You must be new here. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Rachel... Rachel Gonna-Get-You-Fired. Do you know what G.U.N. stands for?
FD Front Desk Agent
Of course. Guardian Units--
[mimics incorrect buzzer]
Gettin'. Ultra. Nasty. Do you want me… to get ultra nasty?! Nasty-nasty?!?
FD Front Desk Agent
No, ma'am.
Okay, then. Then go take those little sad fingers and start tippity type-type-typin'! [the front desk agent starts typing on the computer] Mmm-hmm. That's right, go on.
FD Front Desk Agent
Sorry for the inconvenience, ma'am.
Mmm-hmm... That's what I thought! [passing through] My God, I love being Rachel!
[Tom and Maddie lift their disguises and find the door to the server room. Maddie then disguises herself as Rockwell.]
Did it work?
Tom [admiring]
Yeah... [Maddie smacks him] Ow!
[inputs a code at the door and speaks into the intercom.]
Director Rockwell. Seeking access to the server room.
Agent's Voice: Just one moment, ma'am.
Tom [Just as Tom and Maddie exchange smiles at their success, Tom sees something concerning down the hall.]
Oh, no. No-no-no-no. It's her, it's her, it's the real her...!
[Maddie turns around and sees the real Rockwell with a few soldiers walking their way.]
...the incident in Colorado.
GU G.U.N. Soldier
Still assessing.
What do you mean we're still assessing?
Tom What do we do?
[lifting her disguise]
Quick, change faces!
Tom Okay. [frantically clicks his disguiser, but it instead cartoonishly distorts his face and voice with each click.] Did it work? [off Maddie's weirded out look] What's going on? Why're you looking at me like that?
[the disguiser changes Tom's face to Sergeant Sprinkles, then the head of Little Tom] What am I doin' wrong? [the disguiser then changes Tom's face to Ozzy's. Maddie chops the disguiser, changing Tom into Randall again just before Rockwell and the soldiers approach. "Randall" salutes while Maddie turns away and pretends to look occupied.]
Tom Aye-aye, Captain!
[Rockwell simply gives Tom a look and walks away with the soldiers without breaking stride.]
"Aye-aye, Captain"?! Who are you, Popeye (or what)?!
Tom [lifting his disguise]
I panicked! I was panicking.
Geez! Get it together.
[The door to the server room finally opens.]
Tom [G.U.N. soldiers bring Tom, Maddie, and Tails into the vault. They find Sonic and the Robotniks trapped by Rockwell and the vault's variable gravity.]
Robotnik. Goin' full spandex, huh? (re: Gerald) Who's the fossil?
That's my grandfather, you dough-eating dim-becile!
(re: Tom and Maddie)
Who are they?
A couple of bleeding hearts, here to rescue their emotional support animals.
Enough! It's over. The only way you're leaving here is in handcuffs. There is no other way out.
You know, there might be one other way out.
And what is that supposed to mean?
[on Knuckles' comm]
Hey, big guy, I think it's time to...
[launches off the face of Big Ben, propelled forward by the Flames of Disaster]
Break glass in case of emergency! [glides straight through G.U.N. HQ's energy shield and breaks into the vault, roaring and slamming his flaming fist down against the floor. The resulting shockwave blasts Rockwell back, and Knuckles snags the vault's gravity controls from her.] Ha! Nothing can stop Team Knuckles!
[The soldiers obey, firing on Sonic, who frantically flips over their shots.]
Knuckles, turn this stuff off! Hurry!
[thumbs up]
On it! [smashes the controls with his fist. The controls turn all red, forming an X-eyed frowny face] Uh-oh.
[Tails facepalms as the vault's gravity goes haywire, randomly sending soldiers up and down.]
[As Rockwell hurries rounds a corner with the second key, she sees Tom (disgusted as Walters) with a cast down the hall, much to her surprise]
Commander Walters, sir. You're...
W "Walters"
Still alive? I'll die before I let that key fall into the wrong hands. [Rockwell walks up] Thanks for keeping it safe. I'll take from here.
W "Walters"
[Rockwell instinctively feels that something seems off...]
That's an order, Director Rockwell. [...but she can't refuse handing him the key] Now, organize the reinforcements.
Tom [exits the corridor, clicks his disguiser and briefly changes to normal to radio the others with his real voice]
Guys, guys, I got the key. I repeat, I got the key. Now, let's get outta here. [changes back into Walters, but suddenly Shadow crashes down from the ceiling]
[vengefully]
Commander Walters!
Tom No, no, no, wait!
[Shadow teleports and delivers a Chaos energy-infused punch, knocking Tom unconscious. As Shadow takes the dropped second key, the disguiser deactivates and changes Tom back, much to Shadow's confusion]
What?
[running in]
Tom, everyone's clear! Come on, let's go! [sees Shadow] You. What are you...? [sees an unconscious Tom] Tom! [runs over to Tom on the floor, trying to wake him up; voice breaking] Tom, what happened? Speak to me, come on. Come on, come on, come on, it's going to be okay. Please, please, please, get up. Come on, please, wake up. Wake up, wake up, wake up, come on. Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up!
[watches, reminded of when he was in the same position as Maria after she was killed by the explosion; in a flashback]
Maria...
[to Shadow; angrily]
What did you do?!
[looks at the key, remembers the mission, and steels himself]
What I had to. [teleports away as Maddie, Tails, and Knuckles run inside]
Oh, my God, Tom! [the trio heads over to Tom's unconscious body]
[along with Gerald watching Shadow running at super-speed around the Cannon's core.]
Excuse me, Grampasadoble. What is that thermonuclear gerbil doing?
Infusing the core with Chaos Energy. That's my little secret: the Eclipse Cannon is about to turn this planet into a flaming pile of rubble, wiping out everything in a 25,000-mile radius... including us.
WHAT?! [laughing incredulously] We can't annihilate the Earth! By combining our genius, we can rule humanity. Together!
Humanity is a failed experiment. If anyone should know that, it's you. All your life, you've been rejected by this world. You have nothing down there... no one who cares about you.
But I have you now. We're family... we have each other.
[coldly]
Oh, Ivo... you're no Maria. The moment I lost her, my family was gone forever. The only way to give Maria's life meaning is to destroy the world that took her from me... so I'm BURNING IT ALL DOWN!
[teleports back down]
It's done.
Good work, Shadow. I'm prepping the firing sequence. [flicks a switch] The weapon will be fully charged in ten minutes.
[puts his hand to the window, and looks out at Earth below]
It's almost finished, Maria. You will have justice. [then notices a golden light flying up from the planet]
Is G.U.N. launching missiles at us?
Impossible. It's moving too fast.
[takes out Sonic's quill, which changes from blue to gold before his eyes; realizing]
It's him.
SS Super Sonic
[The light, revealing to be Super Sonic, blitzes Shadow straight out of the Eclipse Cannon, leaving a hole in the glass window. A metal door seals the hole before the Robotniks can be pulled into space.] [enraged]
YOU'VE HURT MY FAMILY! THIS ENDS NOW!
Now you know my anger. The pain I felt for fifty years! And you’ve made the same choice I did.
SS Super Sonic
I'M NOTHING LIKE YOU!
SS Super Sonic
[Super Sonic and Shadow re-enter the atmosphere and crash-land in a volcanic region, creating a crater upon impact. Once the dust clears, Super Sonic notices that Shadow has vanished.]
SHOW YOURSELF, COWARD!
[Shadow shows himself behind Super Sonic and knocks the Chaos Emeralds out of him, reverting Sonic to his base form. They see the Emeralds falling in the air and both make a mad dash for them at the same time. A pillar of golden light shoots up from the Emeralds, and when it leaves, Sonic sees that he has regained his Super form... but Shadow has also gained his for the first time, his limiter rings glowing with power and his fur whitish gold. Super Sonic tries to punch Super Shadow, but the latter effortlessly blocks, the impact causing the earth to crack beneath their feet.]
SS Super Shadow
You were right about one thing... This ends NOW.
[Super Shadow strikes back at Super Sonic, and an epic battle between the two enraged, godlike hedgehogs begins. The Robotniks watch the fight unfold around the world from the Eclipse Cannon.]
What's happening? Where are they?
[Ivo chops Gerald in the neck, causing the latter to fall in pain]
Ah!
Left yourself open. [runs for the Cannon's controls]
[enraged; as Ivo betrays him]
Ivo! What are you doing?!
Thwarting your evil plan!
B Both
[Gerald catches up to him with a nano jetpack. Both Robotniks begin fighting each other, and they start by grabbing each other's mustaches.] [screaming]
WHOA-WHOA-WHOA-WHOA-WHOA-WHOA! OW-OW-OW-OW-OW-OW!
Let go on three. One, two, three! [they both let go and shake their mustaches before Gerald creates a giant fist out of nanobots] Ooooh... A nanofist. I haven't seen that since I hate-watched Green Lantern in 2011!
I was saving it for Comic-Con. But now there won't be a Comic-Con! [slaps Ivo which sends him flying]
SS Super Shadow
[Super Sonic and Super Shadow continue their fight all the way to Greece. Super Shadow teleports behind Super Sonic and kicks him down into the Parthenon]
Why are you alone? Where are your friends? [Super Sonic merely grunts in pain.] They tried to stop you, didn't they? But you came anyway. Your anger was too much. What kind of hero abandons his friends to pursue revenge? Abandons his family?
SS Super Sonic
Don't you dare talk about my family!
SS Super Shadow
And here I thought you cared for them. Especially the one... What's his name? Tom?
SS Super Sonic
HYNAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
[With rage boiling over, Super Sonic punches Super Shadow so hard that he sends him flying out of Earth and straight to the moon, knocking him out of his Super form. Super Sonic charges after him, grabs him by the chest fur, and poises his fist to deliver the final blow.]
Go ahead! Finish it! [Super Sonic pants heavily and prepares to hit, but hesitates] What are you waiting for?! Do it! [points at his heart] I’m right here!
Tom [Super Sonic's eyes widen, remembering Tom's words in the old cave]
You didn't let your pain change who you are... [points at Sonic's heart] in here.
SS Super Sonic
[calms down and lets Shadow go, looking at himself with remorse]
This is not who I am.
What are you doing? You won. Take your revenge.
[reverts to base form, sits down sadly]
There are no winners with revenge.
[The two hedgehogs sit in somber silence. Shadow looks up at the stars.] [echoing in Shadow's mind]
Wow. Look at all those stars. They're like diamonds.
The last time I sat beneath stars like this, I was with her. I've felt this pain for so long, it's all I know.
When I lost Longclaw, I felt the same way.
Did your pain eventually go away?
No. But in time, I learned there's something more powerful than pain. The love we felt for each other. That's what you need to hold on to, Shadow. Maria might be gone, but your love will always remain.
[at that moment, the sun peaks out from behind Earth, illuminating them both]
The light shines, even though the star is gone. [Sonic sees Shadow's understanding, along with the Eclipse Cannon still looming over the planet in the distance] This whole mess is my fault. I've been so blinded by rage, I thought... I had no choice.
[stands up, offers his hand]
You always have a choice. [Shadow thinks for a second, then takes Sonic's hand and gets back up] Making the right one is never easy. One more thing I learned, is that when you really screw something up... you can't fix it on your own.
SS Super Sonic
[As a familiar tune begins to play, Shadow smiles for the first time in fifty years. The two hedgehogs transform into their Super forms once more, preparing for the final battle.]
Gotta go fast!
SS Super Shadow
Don't tell me you've got a catchphrase.
SS Super Sonic
That's right, new hedgehog, and everyone loves it!
[at long last, the vocals of Crush 40's "Live and Learn" kick in, and Super Sonic and Super Shadow launch off the moon together toward the Eclipse Cannon] [spanking Ivo with his nanofist]
I... will... not... try... to stop... my... elders... from... destroying... the... world!
[Ivo makes a nano drill and drives it into Gerald's foot, who shouts in pain and relents, so Ivo rolls away and gets to his feet] Playtime is over! [makes a pair of nano scorpion pincers and a tail, the latter destroying the Eclipse Cannon controls]
There's no going back now!
[to his glove]
Set up defense. [accidentally makes a fence] Damn you, autocorrect! [Gerald lunges to attack with his pincers; to his glove] Mantis. [makes a pair of mantis blades, hovering around Gerald's next attack via mantis wings.] I'm right here, arach-nerd. [Gerald lunges again, but Ivo catches his pincer with one mantis blade and slices off part of his mustache with the other.] Hahahahaaa! That's what I call "mantiscaping".
[furious]
That's ELDER ABUSE!
C Computer
[He prepares his pincers for another attack, only to spin around and whip Ivo off the platform with his scorpion tail. Ivo hangs on the edge, but before Gerald can finish him off, the Eclipse Cannon's alarm and computer voice divert his attention.] [repeating]
Alert.
[retracts his nano weapons and sees Super Sonic and Super Shadow on the monitor]
Shadow, I see you've chosen betrayal. And you were once so useful to me.
