Sonic
[at a campsite in Green Hills, Montana, Miles Prower, a.k.a. Tails, a yellow-orange and white fox with two tails, gets into a ready stance, narrowing his blue eyes. On the left beside him, Knuckles, a red echidna, does the same, narrowing his purple eyes. In a rubber duck float, diving flippers, and sunglasses, Sonic, a blue hedgehog, walks in the middle of his friends while eating a chilli dog] [mouth full]
Wait a second. I thought we were going tubing. Hold on, hold on, is this a race?
Tails
You're going down!
Knuckles
It is my destiny to claim the throne of Family Champion, hedgehog!
Sonic
Ha-ha, cute! Are you sure you wanna challenge the fastest creature in the universe? I mean, that's kinda my whole brand. [spins out of his floatie and removes his flippers and sunglasses] Okay, Tom and Maddie, count us down!
Tom
Right! [to Maddie] Don't worry, a little sibling rivalry is healthy. Me and my brothers used to do this kind of thing all the time.
Maddie
Tom, your brothers are lunatics and neither of them were born with the power to trigger a global, cataclysmic event, so...
Tom
That's a fair point. Did you hear that, boys? No cataclysmic events, alright? Let's try to keep this cataclysmic-less.
Sonic
10-4!
Tails
Got it!
Knuckles
Understood, Lord of the Donuts!
Maddie
Then, on your marks, get set, go! [Team Sonic takes off fast]
Sonic
And way out in front, to the surprise of absolutely no one, it's the Blue Blur, the Red-Shoed Rocket, the one, the only--
Tails
[flies above]
Come on, Sonic, catch up! Yeah! [flies ahead]
Sonic
What in the what now?
Knuckles
[running ahead]
I am also defeating you, hedgehog!
Sonic
Seriously? Alright, you know what? Time to light the afterburners! [accelerates past, grinding up a fallen tree] Look! It's a bird, it's a plane, it's Air Hedgehog! [passing the Goal Plate, dancing] Yes! I did it! I... [sees Tails and Knuckles tapping their feet] lost?! How is that even possible? I did not lose!
Knuckles
I am also defeating you, hedgehog.
Sonic
Okay, okay, I get it, man. No need to rub it in.
Tails
Come on, Sonic, catch up! Yeah!
Sonic
[getting Déjà vu]
Wait, what's going on?
Sonic
[Sonic distorts Tails' face upon touching it and yelps in shock. He does the same to Knuckles' face.]
Why are you guys acting like... [looks up, sees Tails' hologram projectors] Holograms! Which means I remain the undefeated speed champion of all time! Yeees! And the crowd goes wild! But also, what's going on? [hurries back to the campsite to see a surprise birthday party waiting before him]
TM Tom, Maddie, Tails, & Knuckles
Surprise!
Sonic
Wait a second, you guys, what is all this? [points to the banner] "Happy B-Arthur Day"?
Maddie
No, it's "Happy B-Earth-day."
Tom
Today's the anniversary of the day you came to Earth, bud. It's your Earth Day birthday.
Sonic
So, the race was just a distraction, which I totally didn't fall for, by the way, good try, though, so you could throw a party for me?
Knuckles
Today we honor you, hedgehog.
Tails
If it wasn't for you, none of us would be here right now.
Tom
The boys are right, bud. Y'know, the day you came to this planet is the day all our lives changed forever.
Maddie
And we became a family.
O Ozzy
[barks, subtitled]
You stole my hoomans.
Sonic
You guys, I don't, I don't know what to say, except... Let's party! [high-fives Tom]
Tails
Toga! Toga!
Knuckles
It's now on 'til the break of dawn!
Maddie
What did we do?
Tom
Or what did they do?
Tails
[to Sonic]
What did you do?
Sonic
I don't know, I do a lot of stuff.
Rockwell
Mr. and Mrs. Wachowski. [to the boys, with more spite] Aliens.
Sonic
"Aliens"? Excuse me? It's not like we're from different plan-- Oh, yeah, we are. I guess we are aliens. Please continue.
Rockwell
I'm Director Rockwell. There is a very dangerous situation unfolding right now in Tokyo. Commander Walters is requesting Team Sonic's immediate assistance.
Knuckles
"Team Sonic"? Who picked that name?
Sonic
Love it, 10 out of 10, no notes. Tom and Maddie, put the s'mores on ice, because Team Sonic is off to save the day!
Maddie
[Team Sonic boards the helicopter. Sonic waves goodbye to his family as they take off]
Remember... make good choices!
[Tom gives a thumbs up, and Ozzy waves goodbye]
Tom
[The Wachowskis' living room is cluttered with signs of various activities, from loaves of bread, a knitting set, to a painting of Ozzy. Tom, dressed in a "Donut Lord" sweater, finishes building a model Taj Mahal at the table.]
And done! Masterpiece. Look at that.
Maddie
Yay! [wearing an "All or Muffin" apron, she brings more bread and joins Tom on the sofa.] It's really been great having time to ourselves.
Tom
Right? Absolutely, I just feel so relaxed. You know, clear-headed?
Maddie
Look at all these new interests we found.
Tom
I've got so many hobbies.
Maddie
[whispering]
So many!
Tom
After the action and adventure of the last few years, I could get used to this.
Maddie
Same.
Sonic
[Suddenly, the room starts to shake. The bread pans wobble, puzzles break apart, and the model Taj Mahal comes tumbling down. A ring appears, and Team Sonic emerges, still chained up, with Knuckles in front.]
Tom, Maddie, we need your help on a super… Knuckles, do you mind?
Knuckles
Oh, excuse me. [turns around so Sonic faces Tom and Maddie]
Sonic
(Thank you.)
Tom, Maddie, we need your help on a super dangerous, top-secret mission!
Tom
[Tom and Maddie mull it over.]
Thank God.
Maddie
Let's go.
Tom
[both getting up]
Yeah, we're in.
Tails
Really? You're in, just like that?
Tom
Yeah.
Maddie
[same time]
Yes. It was getting so boring without you guys here.
Tom
[overlapping]
So boring.
Maddie
No offense.
Tom
No, none taken. [to Team Sonic] I mean, whatever crazy plan you're cooking up, the answer's yes.
Maddie
Yes.
Sonic
Great! But first thing's first, what is that? [points to a ventriloquist puppet of Tom with Sergeant Sprinkles. Tom picks it up off the floor. Maddie is unamused.]
Tom
Oh, this is... [puts on a high-pitched voice] Little Tom! [in normal voice] Isn't he great?
Maddie
[Team Sonic is too stunned to speak.]
I told you to get rid of that. It's very creepy.
Tom
[as Little Tom]
I told him to get rid of you. [in normal voice] Okay, that's going a bit too far...
Maddie
You're in so much trouble.
Tails
[sets his Miles Electric on the living room table, creating a hologram of G.U.N. HQ.]
Okay, this is it, the belly of the beast: G.U.N. headquarters in London.
Maddie
Aw, Tom, we're finally gonna get to see London together...!
Tom
Hey, I told you we'd get there someday, baby.
Sonic
Okay, so here's the plan! I run in super fast, fly over that water, no problem, then right when I get to the-- [his hologram turns to ash upon running into G.U.N. HQ's shield, leaving only his shoes behind.] AAAH! What just happened?
Tails
Congratulations, you just got incinerated by their energy shield. We'll need to shut it down by planting a USB drive in their server room. That will give me full control over it. (re: Tom and Maddie) That's what we need you two for.
Tom
A couple bad-**** spies, that's what we are.
Maddie
Mr. and Mrs. Smith. [fist bumps Tom]
Tails
Once we disable the shield, you'll face... the laser hall. These high-density bad boys will cut you into tiny pieces. And cut those pieces into even tinier pieces.
Sonic
Once again... AAH! Can't we just get Tom Cruise to do this?
Tails
Nope, because not even he could break into... the vault.
Sonic
Why is it empty in there?
Tails
Because we have no idea what's on the other side of that door. To prevent the vault from ever being accessed by a ring, all images and schematics have been wiped from G.U.N.'s database. So, for the last leg of this heist...
Tom
[as Little Tom]
We're goin' in blind. [off Maddie's look, quietly] Sorry.
Maddie
Okay, I'm just gonna say it. It sounds like this plan would work a heck of a lot better if Sonic used the Master Emerald to go golden god mode to get the key.
Sonic
No way, Maddie. The Master Emerald is too powerful to ever use again. We made a promise to each other to keep it hidden.
Tails
In a location only Knuckles knows.
Knuckles
As Guardian of the Master Emerald, anyone who tries to take it away for any reason will become a sworn enemy.
Maddie
Okay-okay, sheesh, no need to get all growly on me, buddy.
Sonic
You guys are always telling us to make good choices. Well, this is the right choice.
Tom
Okay! I guess we're going to...
Sonic
[Sonic sits on top of the London Eye capsule and immediately gets impatient, speaking into his comm with his friends and family.]
Guys? Are you ready for me yet? I've been waiting here all day.
Tails
[Tails flies to the roof of 20 Fenchurch Street, setting up his Miles Electric.]
Sonic, we literally just started! Tom, Maddie, are you in position and ready?
Tom
[On the ground, Tom and Maddie scout G.U.N. HQ with binoculars, dressed in G.U.N. soldier attires.]
We were born ready.
Maddie
Let's do this.
Tails
Knuckles, how 'bout you?
Knuckles
[kneels over one of Big Ben's gargoyles]
I have taken my perch atop the giant clock. Now, where is this glass I'm supposed to break?
Sonic
Actually, Knucks, your job is to "break glass in case of emergency".
Knuckles
Understood. I will shatter this glass like the jaw of a vile foe.
Sonic
In case of emergency.
Knuckles
I will pulverize it like the skull of a loathsome rival!
Sonic
Just to be clear, the emergency is the important part.
Knuckles
The glass will beg for mercy under the shadow of my mighty fist!
Tom
Guys, remember, we're a team. Now, let's focus.
Maddie
Please!
Sonic
You know what? Let's move on.
Tails
All right, everyone knows what to do. Tom and Maddie, you guys plant the USB drive. I'll disable the traps. Sonic will snag the launch key. And Knuckles, you stand by to...
Knuckles
[eagerly puts his fists together]
Break glass in case of emergency.
Sonic
See? He gets it.
Maddie
[to Tom]
Then we're all set.
Tom
Hologram time. [hands her a Tails-made disguiser] You go first.
Maddie
[clicks her disguiser, turning her into a hologram version of Rachel, speaking with her voice]
Tom! It's me, Rachel. Can you believe it? We're both in London together!
Tom
Have you met your sister? Try again. Unless... you're not up for this mission? Yeah, maybe you wanna be back in Green Hills baking sourdough and--
Maddie
[grabs Tom by the collar, acting abrasive]
Thomas Michael Wachowski! You brought aliens to my wedding, punched up my husband, and buried me in an avalanche. Your day of reckoning is at hand! (Better?)
Tom
[strained, scared]
Yeah, that's perfect. [after being let go] Okay, now for her better half. [clicks his disguiser, turning into Randall Handel and admires the size of his own arms] Hoo-hoo, my name is Randall, and I am too much to "Handel". [flexes] Welcome to the gun show! ["Rachel" nods along] Baby, would you describe me as jacked, juiced or shredded?
Maddie
I would describe your head as swollen. Let's get to work.
Tom
[Tom, disguised as Randall, and Maddie, disguised as Rachel, enter G.U.N. HQ, marching to the agent at the front desk.]
Agent Randall Handel. I'm here to have lunch with my lovely wife Rachel.
FD Front Desk Agent
Oh, I'm sorry, Agent Handel, this facility's currently locked down. Command-level clearance only.
Tom
One minute. [turns away, whispering into her comm] Tails, we have a problem here.
Tails
They must've tightened security after Shadow's escape.
Maddie
I got this. [to the front desk agent] You must be new here. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Rachel... Rachel Gonna-Get-You-Fired. Do you know what G.U.N. stands for?
FD Front Desk Agent
Of course. Guardian Units--
Maddie
[mimics incorrect buzzer]
Gettin'. Ultra. Nasty. Do you want me… to get ultra nasty?! Nasty-nasty?!?
FD Front Desk Agent
No, ma'am.
Maddie
Okay, then. Then go take those little sad fingers and start tippity type-type-typin'! [the front desk agent starts typing on the computer] Mmm-hmm. That's right, go on.
FD Front Desk Agent
Sorry for the inconvenience, ma'am.
Maddie
Mmm-hmm... That's what I thought! [passing through] My God, I love being Rachel!
Maddie
[Tom and Maddie lift their disguises and find the door to the server room. Maddie then disguises herself as Rockwell.]
Did it work?
Tom
[admiring]
Yeah... [Maddie smacks him] Ow!
Maddie
[inputs a code at the door and speaks into the intercom.]
Director Rockwell. Seeking access to the server room.
Agent's Voice: Just one moment, ma'am.
Tom
[Just as Tom and Maddie exchange smiles at their success, Tom sees something concerning down the hall.]
Oh, no. No-no-no-no. It's her, it's her, it's the real her...!
Rockwell
[Maddie turns around and sees the real Rockwell with a few soldiers walking their way.]
...the incident in Colorado.
GU G.U.N. Soldier
Still assessing.
Rockwell
What do you mean we're still assessing?
Tom
What do we do?
Maddie
[lifting her disguise]
Quick, change faces!
Tom
Okay. [frantically clicks his disguiser, but it instead cartoonishly distorts his face and voice with each click.] Did it work? [off Maddie's weirded out look] What's going on? Why're you looking at me like that?
[the disguiser changes Tom's face to Sergeant Sprinkles, then the head of Little Tom] What am I doin' wrong? [the disguiser then changes Tom's face to Ozzy's. Maddie chops the disguiser, changing Tom into Randall again just before Rockwell and the soldiers approach. "Randall" salutes while Maddie turns away and pretends to look occupied.]
Tom
Aye-aye, Captain!
Maddie
[Rockwell simply gives Tom a look and walks away with the soldiers without breaking stride.]
"Aye-aye, Captain"?! Who are you, Popeye (or what)?!
Tom
[lifting his disguise]
I panicked! I was panicking.
Maddie
Geez! Get it together.
[The door to the server room finally opens.]
Rockwell
[As Rockwell hurries rounds a corner with the second key, she sees Tom (disgusted as Walters) with a cast down the hall, much to her surprise]
Commander Walters, sir. You're...
W "Walters"
Still alive? I'll die before I let that key fall into the wrong hands. [Rockwell walks up] Thanks for keeping it safe. I'll take from here.
W "Walters"
[Rockwell instinctively feels that something seems off...]
That's an order, Director Rockwell. [...but she can't refuse handing him the key] Now, organize the reinforcements.
Rockwell
Yes, sir. [marches off]
Tom
[exits the corridor, clicks his disguiser and briefly changes to normal to radio the others with his real voice]
Guys, guys, I got the key. I repeat, I got the key. Now, let's get outta here. [changes back into Walters, but suddenly Shadow crashes down from the ceiling]
Shadow
[vengefully]
Commander Walters!
Tom
No, no, no, wait!
Shadow
[Shadow teleports and delivers a Chaos energy-infused punch, knocking Tom unconscious. As Shadow takes the dropped second key, the disguiser deactivates and changes Tom back, much to Shadow's confusion]
What?
Sonic
[running in]
Tom, everyone's clear! Come on, let's go! [sees Shadow] You. What are you...? [sees an unconscious Tom] Tom! [runs over to Tom on the floor, trying to wake him up; voice breaking] Tom, what happened? Speak to me, come on. Come on, come on, come on, it's going to be okay. Please, please, please, get up. Come on, please, wake up. Wake up, wake up, wake up, come on. Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up!
Shadow
[watches, reminded of when he was in the same position as Maria after she was killed by the explosion; in a flashback]
Maria...
Sonic
[to Shadow; angrily]
What did you do?!
Shadow
[looks at the key, remembers the mission, and steels himself]
What I had to. [teleports away as Maddie, Tails, and Knuckles run inside]
Maddie
Oh, my God, Tom! [the trio heads over to Tom's unconscious body]
