King Harold and Queen Lillian and others quotes from Shrek the Third (2007)

I'm sorry, but this isn't working for me!

Sleeping Beauty

Everything's always about you, isn't it? It's not like your attitude is helping, Snow!

I think it just bothers you that I was voted fairest in the land!

Rapunzel

You mean in that RIGGED election?

Oh, give me a break. (dreamy voice) Rapunzel, Rapunzel, (sarcastic voice) let down thy golden extensions.

Ladies, let go of your betty complains and let's work together.

Donkey

I think that went pretty well. [Shrek: Donkey!] Come on now, Shrek!

I'm dying. [coughing] Don't forget to pay the gardener, Lillian.

Of course, darling.

Fiona.

Fiona

Yes, Daddy?

His name is Arthur. [Shrek: Arthur?] [coughing] I know, you'll do what's [exhaling] right-- [sick immediately]
[lilypond snaps]

I'm dying. [Inhales and launches into a violent coughing fit. Shrek looks a bit guilty about his last admission. Queen Lillian comes to the King's aid, and he settles down.]

Harold.

Don't forget to pay the gardener, Lillian. [Queen Lillian is used to these kind of non-sequiturs.]

Of course darling. [The King suppresses a few coughs. He turns to his daughter.]

Fiona…

Fiona

Yes, Daddy?

I know I've made many mistakes with you.

Fiona

It's okay.

But your love for Shrek has taught me so much. [Fiona smiles. The King addresses Shrek.] My dear boy, I am proud to call you my son.

Shrek

And I'm proud to call you my Frog… King Dad-in-law.

Now, there is a matter of business to attend to.[wheezes and coughing, passes out]

Puss

The frog king...is dead. [Fiona starts weeping. The King suddenly wakes up, coughing.]

Donkey

Put your hat back on, fool.

Shrek, please come hither. [Fiona gives Shrek a look. Shrek walks over to the King.]

Shrek

Yeah, Dad?

This Kingdom needs a new king. You and Fiona are next in line for the throne.

Shrek

Oh! [laughing] Next in line. Now you see, Dad, that's why people love you. Even on your deathbed, you're still making jokes. [laughs with a point] [The King stares at Shrek, stone-faced. Shrek leans in closer.] Oh, come on, Dad… an ogre as king? I don't think that's such a good idea. I mean, there's got to be somebody else. Anybody!

Aside from you, there is only one remaining heir.

Shrek

Really? Who is he, Dad?

His name is... is...

Shrek

What's his name? What's his name?!

...is- [wheezing]

Fiona

Daddy! [A fly comes out of his mouth and flies away. Puss starts to take his hat off. The fly buzzes into frame. Harold's tongue catches it. Puss puts his hat back on.]

His name is Arthur.

Shrek

Arthur?

I know... you'll do what's right. [He's sick for real]

Harold?

Shrek

Dad? Dad! [King Harold doesn't respond; his ears droop] Dad?

Donkey

Do your thing, man. [Puss takes his hat off]
[Fiona starts to break down, weeping as she places her fist on Shrek's shoulder. The weight of the King's request hits Shrek. He is in a state of shock. We hold a moment on Queen Lillian, Shrek, Fiona, Puss, and Donkey to let the King's passing sink in. At the funeral, the kingdom mourns the loss of Harold. Prince Charming, watching from the hills, rides off to the Poison Apple.]