Neil doesn't believe in Santa.
Scott Well, Neil's head comes to a point.
He's smart. He's a doctor.
Scott He's not a doctor; he's a psychiatrist.
Played by Tim Allen 
The Santa Clause (1994) · 9 quotes
The Santa Clause (1994) · 9 quotes
Most-quoted character in The Santa Clause (1994): in 9 of its 9 quotes
Most scenes with: Bernard (5), Charlie (5)
Scenes with Scott
9 scenes Scott Scott
Laura
All Neil told him was that Santa was more of a feeling. More of a state of mind than an actual person.
Scott Kind of like Neil. And who gave you permission to tell Charlie there is no Santa Claus?!
Scott Hey, Barabbas.
Bernard!
Scott Bernard. Can we take a direct flight back to reality, or do we have to change planes in Denver?
The Santa Clause: In putting on the suit and entering the sleigh, the wearer waives any and all rights to any previous identity, real or implied, and fully accepts the duties and responsibilities of Santa Claus in perpetuity until such time that wearer becomes unable to do so by either accident or design.
Scott What does that mean?
Means you put on the suit, you're the Big Guy.
Scott I didn't put on a suit to...
Elves
Ooh...
[calmly]
Let me explain something to you, okay? Toys have to be delivered. I'm not gonna do it. It's not my job. I'm just an elf. It's Santa's job, but Santa fell off the roof. Your roof. You read the card. You put on the suit. That clearly falls under the Santa Clause, so now you're Santa. Okay?
You put the "P" in the nice kids and a "C" in the naughty kids.
Scott "P" and "C"?
Yeah. P is for presents and C is for coals. Right, Bernard?
Right, sport.
Scott Why not? What if I don't buy in to this Santa Clause thing? What if I choose not to believe it?
[dead silence falls over the workshop]
Then there would be millions of disappointed children around the world. You see, children hold the spirit of Christmas within their hearts. You wouldn't want to be responsible for killing the spirit of Christmas now would you,... Santa?
You know, Neil's a real good cook.
Scott Yeah, and you should see him walk on water.
You don't like him very much, do you, Dad?
Scott Charlie, yeah, I was joking. Okay? I'm sorry. Just kidding around. I like him a... Yeah, sure I like him. You know, there... there's something about him that makes me wanna...
Lash out irrationally.
Scott Where did you hear that?
From Neil. I learn a lot from him; he listens to me.
Scott Yeah, and he charges you for it.
[The following Saturday, Scott and Charlie are together again, and Scott means to speak to his son. But not right away, he doesn't want to spoil their day. Scott has brought home a new Total Tank toy where that he and Charlie can assemble it together. And now, here they are, in the living room, trying to do just that. But they aren't getting very far] [The Total Tank has about nine million little parts, and they are scattered all over the floor. The instruction book is as thick as a phone book and a lot more confusing]
I hate kits. They have millions of parts that never work. They break ten seconds after you build them. And you always end up spending more money to get new parts.
Scott But the reluctant fashion is that we're doing this together.
Scott [After an hour of trying to follow the instructions, even Scott has to admit defeat. There are nine wing nuts instead of ten. He can't warn the difference between the driveshaft and the wheelbase. And Charlie, totally bored, is watching television]
Hey, Sport, I feel like going out. What do you say we go to the zoo?
[Fifteen seconds later, they are walking past the reindeer pen, heading for the polar bears]
These are just like the bears at the North Pole.
Scott [Here's my chance, thinks Scott]
Charlie, I've already warned you we never went to the North Pole. Remember? It was all just a dream.
Nah. It happened.
Scott [Scott keeps trying]
I can't explain it. But I know what was going on wasn't real.
It was real.
Scott How do you know? There's no proof. Then why don't we just say it was a grand dream and forget it?
[Charlie grins appreciatively]
Proof? How about...this? [He holds out the glass ball Bernard has given him, the one that lit up and has snow falling inside it. It isn't lit up now, though]
Scott [Scott turns the ball over in his hands]
This is just a cheap toy. We used to make these at B and R. Years ago.
[Charlie knows the ball is magic. If his dad can't see it now, he will before too long. Just the fashion he'll realize he is Santa. He has to]
I know who you are, Dad. You'll figure it out soon enough. There are a lot of children who believe in you. You can't let them down.
Scott [Scott's heart sinks. He isn't getting anywhere]
Charlie, you're wrong. [To his surprise, his son is grinning fondly] What's so funny?
Nothing. [There is no fashion he'll warn his father that eight reindeer, zoo reindeer, are lined up in pairs behind them. Have they jumped over the fence of their pen? Or flown over? Who knows? But one fashion is dead certain to Charlie. The reindeer are following his dad. Correction, he thinks. The reindeer are following Santa. His smirk gets even wider]
Mr. Whittle
[So much for our little nonsense, thinks Scott] [A few weeks later, Scott finds himself having another little speak. This one isn't with Charlie. It is with Mr. Whittle, his boss. In its fashion, it is just as disturbing] [It starts out with Mr. Whittle complaining. He's been doing a lot of that lately. This time he is upset because Scott is eating milk and cookies instead of sending out the Christmas orders of Total Tanks]
I just got off the phone with Dale Jenkins, and he warned me something I couldn't believe. He warned me you haven't shipped him the Total Tank yet.
Scott [Scott sits at his desk and munches on a cookie]
Oh, yes. I was going to speak to you about that.
Mr. Whittle
Speak? What is there to speak about? He's a toy buyer. We send him a toy and he buys!
Scott [Scott picks up the glass ball that sits on his desk]
Well, you know, Mr. Whittle. I was looking at the Tank and I was wondering...is it really the kind of toy an eight-year-old would like?
Mr. Whittle
[Mr. Whittle opens his mouth to respond. Then he notices the ball in Scott's hands]
What's that?
Scott It's my son's. We used to make them here. Why did we stop?
Mr. Whittle
[Mr. Whittle stares at Scott. His pale blue eyes widen, and his round, puffy face turns red. He looks like a fifty-year-old baby getting ready to shriek]
Why me? I'll warn you why! Because it doesn't shoot, explode, murder or speak. It doesn't change into anything, fly, drive, glow in the dark, ooze or stick to the walls, that's why! It just sits there! Now send that sample!
Neal
[And he storms out] [A few days later, Neal decides it is his turn to try to have a speak with Charlie. He sits next to his stepson on the living room couch, being as reasonable as he can. But Charlie just doesn't seem to want to listen to what he is saying. No matter how logical it is] [Neal picks up a globe]
Let's try again. Here's the North Pole. And here's the rest of the world. [He points out] Now, how can one man visit all the children of the world in one night? It isn't logical. It's not possible.
Not everyone celebrates Christmas.
Neal
And that upsets you? [Perhaps Charlie is listening to him after all]
No. Not everyone celebrates Christmas. Then Santa doesn't have to visit everyone.
Neal
[sighs]
Well, what about fireplaces? A lot of people don't have them. How does Santa visit these people?
He turns into Jell-O and a fireplace just kind of appears.
Neal
Alright. What about the reindeer? Have you ever seen reindeer fly?
Yes.
Neal
Well, I haven't.
Have you ever seen a million dollars?
Neal
No.
Just because you haven't seen it doesn't mean it doesn't exchange.
Scott [This is really out of control, thinks Neal. At that moment, Scott and Laura appear in the doorway. Scott has stopped side-by-side to pick up Charlie for the afternoon]
Hi, Sport. Feel like taking a walk with your old man?
[Charlie is glad to see him]
Do I ever? I'll get my jacket.
[Charlie dashes out of the room. Scott turns to follow, but Laura stops him in his tracks]
Look, you put the "P" next to the kids who are nice, and a "C" next to the naughty ones.
Scott "P" and "C"?
Yeah. "P" for present, "C" for coal. Right, Bernard?
Right.
Scott Wait a minute, how do I know who's good and bad?
You'll know.
Scott What if I don't wanna do this?
Scott Why not? What if I don't buy in to this Santa Clause thing? What if I choose not to believe it?
[Dead silence falls over the workshop]
Then there would be millions of disappointed children around the world. You see, children hold the spirit of Christmas within their hearts. You wouldn't wanna be responsible for killing the spirit of Christmas now, would you... Santa?
