Phillips It's easy when you play with a bunch of rejects and a fat kid, Rodriguez.
Shut your mouth, Phillips!
What'd you say, crap face?
Phillips I said, you shouldn't be allowed to touch a baseball. Except for Rodriguez, you're all an insult to the game.
Come on! We'll take you on, right here! Right now! Come on!
Phillips We play on a real diamond, Porter. You ain't good enough to lick the dirt off our cleats.
Phillips Shut up, idiot!
Phillips Scab eater!
Phillips Pus licker!
Phillips You eat dog crap for breakfast, geek!
You mix your Wheaties with your mama's toe jam!
Phillips You bob for apples in the toilet! And you like it!
You play ball like a girl!
Phillips [entire group stands in shocked silence]
What did you say?
Phillips Tomorrow. Noon, at our field. Be there, buffalo-butt breath.
Count on it, pee-drinking crap-face!
Come on batter this is a short game and i have to get home for lunch.
Is that your sister out in left field? Naked? She's naked, you know.
Phillips [distracted by Ham, he swings and misses]
Shut up, Porter!
Hey, hey, hey. I'm just trying to have a friendly conversation, come on. [two seconds later] Think she'll go out with me?
Phillips [A snooty rival baseball team called the Tigers, whom the Sandlot kids are enemies with arrive in their uniforms and bicycles.]
Ah, it's easy when you play with a bunch of rejects and a fat kid, Rodriguez.
Shut your mouth, Phillips!
What'd you say, crap-face?!
Phillips I said, you shouldn't be even allowed to touch a baseball. Except for Rodriguez, you're all an insult to the game.
Come on! We'll take you on, right here, right now! Come on!
Phillips We play on a real diamond, Porter. You ain't good enough to lick the dirt off our cleats.
Phillips Shut up, idiot!
Phillips Scab eater!
Phillips Pus licker!
Phillips You eat dog crap for breakfast, geek!
You mix your Wheaties with your mama's toe jam!
Phillips You bob for apples in the toilet! And you like it!
You play ball like a girl!
Phillips [the Sandlot kids gasp as the entire group stands in shocked silence; the Sandlot kids start laughing] [shocked smile]
What did you say?
Phillips Tomorrow. Noon, at our field. Be there, buffalo-butt breath.
Count on it, pee-drinking crap-face!
Phillips Let's go!
[the Tigers ride away, and the Sandlot kids cheer for Ham] [to Ham; pats his arm]
Good job.
[about the Tigers]
Jerks. [scene fades to Ham putting on Umpire mask] PLAY BALL! [puts on umpire mask] Hurry up, batter. It's gonna be a short game, and I gotta get home for lunch. [Pitcher pitches and the batter doesn't even swing] Ha-ha! That's one. [scene cuts to new pitch] [to the batter] You know, if my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave his butt, and tell him to walk backwards. [scene cuts to new pitch] The heater. Here it comes. I dare ya. [Ham puts the batter off, he swings and misses] Strike three, you're out. [scene cuts to new pitch] Hey. Is that your sister out there in left field, naked? She's naked.
Phillips [gets distracted and misses]
Shut up, Porter!
Hey, hey, hey. I'm just trying to start a friendly conversation. Come on. [two seconds later] Think she'll go out with me?
