The Sandlot (1993) · 28 quotes
Tied for 5th most-quoted character in The Sandlot (1993): in 5 of its 28 quotes
Most scenes with: Benny (5), Ham Porter (4), Squints (3)
Yeah yeah, Oscar Meyer even, foot-long Dodger Dog! A weenie!
What are you talking about, Yeah-Yeah? You run like a duck!
Kay kay, but I'm --
Part of the game, right?
Mmm, yeah!
Then how come he don't get to be?
Bertram Cause he's a geek,/ man.
Yeah, man, he ain't game.
It's easy when you play with a bunch of rejects and a fat kid, Rodriguez.
Shut your mouth, Phillips!
What'd you say, crap face?
I said, you shouldn't be allowed to touch a baseball. Except for Rodriguez, you're all an insult to the game.
Come on! We'll take you on, right here! Right now! Come on!
Yeah!
We play on a real diamond, Porter. You ain't good enough to lick the dirt off our cleats.
Watch it, jerk!
Shut up, idiot!
Moron!
Scab eater!
Butt sniffer!
Pus licker!
Fart smeller!
Bertram Ahh.
You eat dog crap for breakfast, geek!
You mix your Wheaties with your mama's toe jam!
Yeah!
You bob for apples in the toilet! And you like it!
You play ball like a girl!
You heard me.
Tomorrow. Noon, at our field. Be there, buffalo-butt breath.
Count on it, pee-drinking crap-face!
Yeah!
Oh, no!
Ah, it's easy when you play with a bunch of rejects and a fat kid, Rodriguez.
Shut your mouth, Phillips!
What'd you say, crap-face?!
I said, you shouldn't be even allowed to touch a baseball. Except for Rodriguez, you're all an insult to the game.
Come on! We'll take you on, right here, right now! Come on!
Yeah!
Yeah, right now!
We play on a real diamond, Porter. You ain't good enough to lick the dirt off our cleats.
Watch it, jerk!
Shut up, idiot!
Moron!
Scab eater!
Butt sniffer!
Pus licker!
Fart smeller!
Bertram Ahh.
You eat dog crap for breakfast, geek!
You mix your Wheaties with your mama's toe jam!
Yeah!
You bob for apples in the toilet! And you like it!
You play ball like a girl!
What did you say?
You heard me.
Tomorrow. Noon, at our field. Be there, buffalo-butt breath.
Count on it, pee-drinking crap-face!
Yeah!
Let's go!
Jerks. [scene fades to Ham putting on Umpire mask] PLAY BALL! [puts on umpire mask] Hurry up, batter. It's gonna be a short game, and I gotta get home for lunch. [Pitcher pitches and the batter doesn't even swing] Ha-ha! That's one. [scene cuts to new pitch] [to the batter] You know, if my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave his butt, and tell him to walk backwards. [scene cuts to new pitch] The heater. Here it comes. I dare ya. [Ham puts the batter off, he swings and misses] Strike three, you're out. [scene cuts to new pitch] Hey. Is that your sister out there in left field, naked? She's naked.
Hey, hey, hey. I'm just trying to start a friendly conversation. Come on. [two seconds later] Think she'll go out with me?
You call that pitching?! [Kenny laughs] This is baseball, not tennis. Give me something to hit!
All right, Ham. This is my heater! I DARE you to hit it!
You'll be sorry.
You want the heater? I'll give it to ya. [Pitches the ball to Ham, who hits a home run over the one fence, much to the team's dismay]
Yeah! That's how you do it, Smalls! [Slowly starts to round the bases]
Ham, you idiot! Now we can't play no more!
Great, you [Throws his glove at Ham] idiot!
Bertram Stupid idiot!
Low and outside! Just like I like it. [The team continues to chase after Ham, smacking him with their hats, and pelting him with their gloves, except Benny, who quietly gathers up his gear, and Smalls, who watches in confusion]
No, you don't understand! That wasn't my ball!
It was my stepdad's. I stole it from his trophy room. It was a present or something. Somebody gave it to him, but we gotta get it back. He's gonna kill me!
Listen to me, Smalls. This is a matter of life and death. Where did your old man get that ball?
What? I don't know. Some lady gave it to him. Why? [the Sandlot kids are confused] Yeah, she even signed her name on it. Some lady named... Ruth. Baby Ruth.
BABE RUTH??!!
Hey, guys! What's going on?
The Beast got it!
You're dead as a doornail, Smalls.
You're dead as a doornail, Smalls.
Smalls, you mean to tell me you went home and swiped a ball that was signed by Babe Ruth, and you brought it out here and actually played with it?!
And actually played with it?!
Yeah. Yeah, but I was gonna bring it back.
But it was signed by Babe Ruth!
Yeah. Yeah. You keep telling me that! Who is she?!
The Sultan of Swat!
Bertram The King of Crash!
The Colossus of Clout!
The Colossus of Clout!
Babe Ruth!
Yes!
Smalls, Babe Ruth was the greatest baseball player that ever lived. I mean, people said he was less than a god, but more than a man. Like, Hercules, or something. That ball you just aced to The Beast is worth...well, more than your whole life, man.
Ohh... I don't feel so good. [collapses to his knees as he's almost about to throw up]
Uh-oh, fan him. Give him air. Give him air. [ they start fanning Smalls to cool him down]
We gotta get that ball back.
