(Talking about the coin he used to flip at the Super Bowl)
You know what this is...its actually a commemerative coin.
Donald Sinclair
John Cleese · 9 quotes
Randy Pear
Jon Lovitz · 9 quotes
Enrico Polinni
8 quotes
Duane Cody
Seth Green · 6 quotes
Six Racers
6 quotes
Blaine Cody
Vince Vieluf · 5 quotes
Owen Templeton
Cuba Gooding Jr. · 5 quotes
Vera Baker
Whoopi Goldberg · 5 quotes
Kimberly Pear
Jillian Marie Hubert · 3 quotes
Nick Schaffer
Breckin Meyer · 2 quotes
Most scenes together: Duane Cody & Randy Pear (2), Duane Cody & Blaine Cody (2)
Rat Race quotes
Page 1 of 4[after explaining the game]
The first one there, keeps it all! Oh, by the way, I put little tracking devices on your key rings so I'll always know where you are and...that's it! Go.
Y-You can't just pick people at random!
I can do anything I like, Owen! I'm eccentric! [Growls] Go!
Wait. So, it's like a race? [Sinclair points to him with an "Ah-ha!" expression]
A race! It's a race! I hope I win!
Uh, what are the rules?
There's only one rule. Are you ready? Here it is: There are, no rules! Go! [Nobody moves] Go!!
Merrill So, when you say "go", you mean, just go?
Uh, begin, commence, start moving, [looks at his watch] theoretically you have been racing for about forty-five seconds now, and so far Mr. Schaffer is winning because he's nearest to the door.
[Everyone continues staring at Sinclair, visibly confused. Finally, he sighs in frustration, pulls out a revolver, and fires it into the ceiling.]
Kimberly Pear : Dad, I'm prairie dogging back here!
Randy Pear : Well, what the hell does that mean?
Jason Pear : You know, like when a prairie dog sticks his head in and out of the ground.
Randy Pear : Oh. [Five seconds later]
Randy Pear : Ohh, god, I do not wanna picture that!
Randy Pear : You're playing Hitler's harmonica!
Jason Pear : Well, you're driving his car.
Randy Pear : Yeah, but I'm not touching it with my mouth! I'm not suckin' on the dashboard! I'm not getting his germs!
Ay id it y-elf!
What?
He said he did it himself. Sent away for a kit.
Squirrel Lady
I wasn't talkin' to you, was I? I was talkin' to Vera!
Vicki
So, what can I do for you, Harry?
Harold Grisham Okay... here's what I want. First... we both get naked.
Vicki
So far so good.
Harold Grisham Except... we're both wearing sailor hats. Then we get into a jacuzzi filled with Pepto-Bismol, I clip your toenails, and you shave my buttocks.
Employee
Oh, those are your in-room movies.
Oh, I didn't watch any movies.
Employee
Let's see..."Afro Whores".
"Afro Whores"?
Employee
It says you watched it... 11 times.
No, I didn't watch that.
Employee
2:00 "Afro Whores", 3:30 "Afro Whores", 5:00 "Afro Whores"... It says in the morning you watched "The Grinch" for ten minutes, then switched back over to "Afro Whores".
I swear I didn't watch it. Okay? I was at a bachelor party. There were 35 people there. You can ask any of them. You have to take that off my record.
Hotel Clerk This is not a record, sir.
It... It's a delete.
Hotel Clerk Okay, fine. How many times *did* you watch it?
None! I didn't watch it!
Hotel Clerk Are you sure? "Sizzling, three-way, backdoor action featuring two sexy soul sisters...”
[screaming]
I don't need to know what it's about! I did not watch it! I didn't.
'[hotel clerk raises her eyebrows]
[Duane and Blaine Cody walk up to the top of a flight of stairs, Duane places a glass on the ground]
Okay, see that shot glass? Walk across the lobby, slip on the glass, let gravity do the rest.
I-ight 'eak y eck!
It's true, you could break your neck, but it's a risk I'm willing to take.
Hy ont u oo it?
Because, Einstein, one of us needs to be the victim and one of us needs to be the witness! What kind of witness would you make? I'm your own brother, I don't know what the hell you're saying. How's your tongue, let me see.
[Blaine opens his mouth, showing a blackened tongue with a stud in it; Duane cringes]
Ows it ook?
...It looks good, getting better.
[In the initial stage of the race, everyone, with the exception of Nick and Enrico, try to beat each other down the stairs and fall over one another into a pile on a landing]
Hey, wait-wait-wait! Wait! This is crazy! Listen, if we're all going to go for it, why don't we go for it together? You know, split the money fifty-fifty?
Fifay-fifay?
Oh, you know what I mean. Fifty-fifty; whatever!
Yes, yes, that's a good plan.
[Running down the stairs]
It's a race! It's a race! [Goes past everyone on the landing] I am winning! I am winning!
[After a pause, everyone runs after him]
[Sinclair has told the teams repeatedly to "go", to no avail.]
Merrill : So, when you say "go", you mean, just go?
Uh, begin, commence, start moving... theoretically you have been racing for about forty seconds now, and so far Mr. Schaffer is winning because he's nearest to the door.
[Entering room]
Am I too late? Look I won a coin! A gold coin! [looks around] Uh, isn't this wonderful? Look at this room. What a beautiful room! Have you seen this room?
[Talking about the coin he used to flip at the Super Bowl]
It's really a commemorative coin.
[To Duane]
Duane, Mom's watching 'ou from 'eaven righ' now. Wha' would 'he doo? For starving children, Duane. 'O it for mom.