Producers, The (2005) quotes
100 total quotesMax Bialystock
Multiple Characters
Roger De Bris
Ulla
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Franz: The punishment for breaking the Zigfried Oaths is dess.
Max: Dess? Is that anything like 'Death'?
Franz: Yeth!
Max: Dess? Is that anything like 'Death'?
Franz: Yeth!
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Hold-Me Touch-Me: I made it out just like you told me to: To the title of the play. "Cash". It's a funny sort of name for a play, "Cash"...
Max: So is "The Iceman Cometh."
Max: So is "The Iceman Cometh."
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Judge: And who might you be, my dear?
Ulla: Ulla Inga Hansen Bensen Yonsen Tallen-Hallen Svaden-Svanson... Bloom.
Judge: You're HIS wife?
Ulla: He wouldn't do it unless we got married!
Judge: What a schmuck!
Ulla: Ulla Inga Hansen Bensen Yonsen Tallen-Hallen Svaden-Svanson... Bloom.
Judge: You're HIS wife?
Ulla: He wouldn't do it unless we got married!
Judge: What a schmuck!
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Leo: [sung] I wanna be a producer... 'Cause it's everything I'm not
Accountants: [sung] Unhappy... unhappy... So unhappy
Leo and Accountants: [sung] Very very very very very very very...
Accountants: [sung] Sad.
Leo: [sung] I wanna be a producer... [spoken] Hold everything! What I am I doing here? Mr. Bialystock was right! There is a lot more to me than there is to me! Stop the world, I wanna get on!
Mr. Marks: Bloom, where do you think you're going? You've already had your toilet break.
Leo: I'm not going in the toilet... I'm going in SHOW BUSINESS! Mr. Marks, I've got news for you. I quit! Here's my visor... my Dixon Ticonderoga number two pencil... and my big finish!
Leo: [sung] I'm gonna be a producer Sound the horn and beat the drum I'm gonna be a producer Look out Broadway, here I come!
Chorus Girls and Accountants: [sung] Broadway, here he comes!
Accountants: [sung] Unhappy... unhappy... So unhappy
Leo and Accountants: [sung] Very very very very very very very...
Accountants: [sung] Sad.
Leo: [sung] I wanna be a producer... [spoken] Hold everything! What I am I doing here? Mr. Bialystock was right! There is a lot more to me than there is to me! Stop the world, I wanna get on!
Mr. Marks: Bloom, where do you think you're going? You've already had your toilet break.
Leo: I'm not going in the toilet... I'm going in SHOW BUSINESS! Mr. Marks, I've got news for you. I quit! Here's my visor... my Dixon Ticonderoga number two pencil... and my big finish!
Leo: [sung] I'm gonna be a producer Sound the horn and beat the drum I'm gonna be a producer Look out Broadway, here I come!
Chorus Girls and Accountants: [sung] Broadway, here he comes!
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Carmen Ghia: Well as far as I'm concerned, without your wig on you're only half dressed.
Roger De Bris: Well then, why don't you go and get it, oh Wicked Witch of the Wessst?
Carmen Ghia: [after a long pause] If your intention was to shoot an arrow through my heart... BULLSEYE!
Roger De Bris: Well then, why don't you go and get it, oh Wicked Witch of the Wessst?
Carmen Ghia: [after a long pause] If your intention was to shoot an arrow through my heart... BULLSEYE!
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Roger:Well they all just read Springtime, what'd you think of it guys?
Bryan:[all sung] If it's glamour
Scott:and Glitz
Kevin:It needs sequins
Shirley Markowitz:And tits
Bryan:[all sung] If it's glamour
Scott:and Glitz
Kevin:It needs sequins
Shirley Markowitz:And tits
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Leo:Mr. DeBris, Roger, Roger, actually I think your gown is very stunning
Roger:Why thank you Mr Bloom. Leo. [sniffing] Mmm, what is that enchanting cologne your wearing?
Leo:Me? I'm not wearing any cologne.
Roger:You mean that smell is you. Oh, God. If I could bottle you I'd shove you under my armpits everyday.
Roger:Why thank you Mr Bloom. Leo. [sniffing] Mmm, what is that enchanting cologne your wearing?
Leo:Me? I'm not wearing any cologne.
Roger:You mean that smell is you. Oh, God. If I could bottle you I'd shove you under my armpits everyday.
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Roger: [singing] I'll sign! Roger Elizabeth De Bris! [Max and Leo look up confused, after just finding out the Hitler's middle name was also Elizabeth]
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Roger: So Jason, what have you been up to?
Jason Green: For ze last 16 years I have been touring in No No Nietzsche.
Roger: Ahh, you played Nietzsche?
Jason Green: No no.
Roger: [making a face] What are you going ta sing?
Jason Green: Have you ever heard ze German band?
Roger: No
Jason Green: Zat is za name of ze song I am going to sing!
Jason Green: For ze last 16 years I have been touring in No No Nietzsche.
Roger: Ahh, you played Nietzsche?
Jason Green: No no.
Roger: [making a face] What are you going ta sing?
Jason Green: Have you ever heard ze German band?
Roger: No
Jason Green: Zat is za name of ze song I am going to sing!
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Carmen Ghia: Jaques La Peduex [both Carmen and Roger look around, but no one steps forward] Jaques La Peduex [Roger looks at the name card and whispers into Carmen's ear] Jack Lapidus...