Producers, The (2005) quotes

View Quote Leo: What's your name?
Ulla: Ulla Inga Hansen Bensen Yansen Tallen Hallen Svadon Swanson.
Max: What's your first name?
Ulla: That was my first name. Would you like to know my last name?
Max: We don't have the time.

View Quote Ulla: Would you like Ulla make audition?
Leo: That won't be nece...
Max: Yes, it is nece! Extremely nece!

View Quote Leo: [to Ulla] We might have a position for you.
Max: Actually, we might have several positions for you.

View Quote Leo: So what time can you get here?
Ulla: Well, Ulla wake up every morning at five AM. From five to seven, Ulla exercise. From seven to eight Ulla like to take long shower. From eight to nine Ulla eat big Swedish breakfast. Many different herrings. From nine to eleven, Ulla practice her singing und her dancing. And at eleven, Ulla like to have sex. So, what time should Ulla get here?
Leo and Max: Eleven.
Ulla: Good! Ulla will come at eleven!
Max: [holding his head in his hands] Ulla will come at eleven...
Ulla: God dag min vannina!
Leo and Max: God dag min vannina... ninna...
Ulla: God bless America!
[Ulla leaves]
Max: God bless Sweden!

View Quote Leo: Max, I think we're getting in too deep.
Max: Too deep? This is nothing. I'll tell you when we're getting in too deep.

View Quote Carmen Ghia: Hello, the living room of renowned theatrical director Roger De Bris' elegant Upper East Side townhouse on a sunny Tuesday afternoon in June. Whom may I say is calling? Listen, you broken down old queen. He was drunk, he was hot, you got lucky! Don't ever call here again!
Roger De Bris: Who was that?
Carmen Ghia: Wrong number!

View Quote Leo, Max, Carmen Ghia, Roger De Bris: Break a leg!
[CRASH!]
Max: Franz, what happened?
Franz Liebkind: I broke my leg!

View Quote Leo: [Screams hysterically]
[Max runs over and splashes Leo with a glass of water]
Leo: I'M WET! I'M WET! I'M HYSTERICAL AND I'M WET!
[Max slaps Leo]
Leo: [Pauses] I'M IN PAIN! I'M WET AND IN PAIN! AND I'M STILL HYSTERICAL [Babbles]
Max: What can I do? You're making me hysterical
Leo: Get away, you're too close, you frighten me!
Max: I frighten you?!
Leo: Get down over there, sit over there!
Max: I'm sitting! I'm sitting!
Leo: [Flinches] You still look angry!
Max: I'm sorry, is this better? [Grins goofily] [In Childish, patronising voice] Who's my little accountant? Who's my little accountant? Are you my little accountant? Yes you are!
Leo: [Now calm] Thank you for smiling, that helped a great deal!

View Quote Carmen: I'll take your coats, and hats...and your swastikas.
Max (to Leo): You didn't tell me we were still wearing them!
Leo: I didn't notice.
Max: Sorry. Just came from a big rally, everyone was wearing one.

View Quote Franz Liebkind: [while waving a gun around] You made a fool of Hitler!
Carmen Ghia, Roger De Bris: He didn't need our help.

View Quote Roger De Bris: This crazy Kraut is crackers! He crashed in here and crassly tried to kill us!
Carmen Ghia: Oh, Roger, what alliteration
Roger De Bris: Thank you, darling.

View Quote [With one leg already broken Franz Liebkind falls down the stairs]
Officer O'Rourke: [Calling down the stairs] What happened?
Franz Liebkind: I broke... the other leg!

View Quote Hold Me-Touch Me: I know, let's play the virgin milkmaid and the well-hung stable boy.
Max: Oh, I don't think I have the strength.
Hold Me-Touch Me: Don't worry, I'll be gentle. Oh dear, this milk is so heavy. I'll never reach the house. You there, well-hung stable boy, won't you please help me?
Max: Why of course my little dairy queen. First, I shall take your milk. Then, I shall take your VIRGINITY!

View Quote Leo: I'm very sorry I caught you feeling up the old lady.
Max: "Feeling up the old lady." Thank you Mr. Tact.

View Quote Ulla: Remember when Ulla dance?
Max and Leo: Yes.
Ulla: Ulla dance again!
Max: Ulla dance again!!!