Over the Hedge (2006) · 82 quotes
In 8 of the 82 quotes from Over the Hedge (2006)
Most scenes with: Lou and Penny (8), RJ (6), Hammy (6)
Can I be the car?!
I wanna be the car!
No, I'm the car! You be the shoe!
The shoe's lame.
Why not be that snazzy lookin' iron there?"
Hey! It's not important! Besides, I'm the car! I'm always the car!
Hey, no fighting while we're driving!
We will turn this van around, mister!
Oh, hey there, little... ...fella.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Operator. Can I help you?
Verne's back.
Verne!
Jeepers!
You OK?
Help him up.
What was over there?
Freaky pink primates! They must have come while we were hibernating. It was awful. They had wheels on their feets...[RJ hops onto a tree, listening to their conversation] ...and there sticks, and they were whacking me with sticks like it was some sort of sick game.
You should have died! You should have laid down and died!
Dad.
That's not the worst part. Half the forest is gone. The oak trees and the berry bushes, they're just... they're just... gone.
Jeepers.
What'll we do for food?
How are we gonna live? [Vernes looks at his family]
I don't know. But here's what I do know. We will be fine as long as no one goes over Steve again.
It's called a hedge. [the animals all look up at him with a ray of light shining on him; introducing himself] And it is not to be feared, my amphibious friend. It is the gateway to the good life.
I'm a reptile, actually. But, you know, it's a common mistake. And, uh, you are?
Where are my manners. [walks off the tree branch] I'm RJ. [the branch smacks on Verne's face] Now please don't think I'm prying, but I couldn't help overhearing, [throwing out items from his bag while looking through] and I can shed a little light on what this whole hedge situation is about. [takes out a map] You see, what was once mere wilderness is now 54 acres of man-made, manicured, air-conditioned paradise. Except for that little-bitty speck. [takes out a magnifying glass, showing a red circle surrounding their location] You are here. [the animals gasp in shock] No, no, that's a good thing. You're hibernators, right? You gather up a bunch of food, store it away for the winter?
Uh-huh. We fill the log!
Hammy!
Really? This log? This cave-like log?
All the way to the top.
Ozzie!
Let me ask ya, how long's it takes, you know, to fill the log?
274 Days.
Ooh! Ever done it in a week?
That's impossible.
Not if we work together. You see, you got the food-gathering skills, I got the know-how, and they have the food.
How much food?
Loads of food! Heaps of food! Food out the wazoo!
Well, whatever kind of food comes out of a wazoo, I don't think we're interested in eating it.
I don't know, the guy's making a lot of sense to me. I think we should listen.
Yeah, I'm OK with wazoo food here.
No, you're not. The tail is tingling.
When something doesn't feel right, my tail tingles, and let me tell you something, everything you've said so far is driving my tail crazy.
Listen. Verne, right? This isn't something you need to be afraid of.
Well, I am. And for good reason. This is not a birthmark.
Aw, that's because you went over there without a guide, Verne.
Whatever. Thanks for stopping by. We're not interested.
Not interested in the most delicious food you've ever tasted?
No!
Come on.
Not! Interested!
OK. I get it. I understand. This is something that you're just not open to.
Jeepers.
What is THAAAT!?
That, my friend, is a magical combination of corn flour, dehydrated cheese solids, BHA, BHT, and good old MSG, a.k.a., the chip. Nacho cheese flavor.
More please! More.
Yeah, Verne, those were good!
It's all good! And we're going over there, tonight! Yeah!
Wow! Look at that!
Hey, Mom, look at us! Look at us!
Oh, my! Hon, look at this.
Jeepers.
How's that tail, Verne?
Listen, if anybody in this family gets hurt, I'm holding you personally responsible.
They're having a good time. I'll take responsibility for that.
This is neat. Look at that. Hey, Spike, look at that.
Hey, Verno, I took a few clippings out of my quills to do a little comparison. Look at this, the grass seems to be greener over here.
Verne, are you certain you came to the same place?
Yeah, 'cause the raccoon says...
OK, enough about him. I get it. So he can do a couple of tricks. I mean, it's not like he can walk on water.
What is that?
That is an SUV. Humans ride around in it because they are slowly losing their ability to walk.
Jeepers, it's so big!
How many humans fit in there?
Usually? One.
Hi, this is Gladys Sharp. Your president? Of the homeowner's association? Right.
Jeepers.
What is that?
Easy, easy, don't worry. That's just a human being. And they are just as scared of us as we are of them. Now, if a human does happen to see you, just lay down, roll over and give your privates a good licking. They love it.
The homeowner's charter, which you signed, says the grass is supposed to be two inches, and according to my measuring stick, yours is 2.5.
Could we just get the food and go? Really, do they have it or not?
Didn't you see it? It was in the box. They've always got food with them. We eat to live, these guys live to eat! Let me show you what I'm talking about.
The human mouth is called a "pie hole." The human being is called a "couch potato.” [A phone] That is a device to summon food. [A doorbell] That is one of the many voices of food. [The door] That is the portal for the passing of the food. [A moped] That is one of the many food transportation vehicles. [food trucks] Humans bring the food, take the food, ship the food, they drive the food, they wear the food! That gets the food hot. That keeps the food cold. That... I'm not sure what that is. What do you know? Food! That is the altar where they worship food. That's what they eat when they eat too much food. That gets rid of guilt so they can eat more food. Food, food, food, food! FOOOOOD!!! So, you think they have enough? Well, they don't. For humans, enough is NEVER enough! And what do they do with the stuff they don't eat? They put it in gleaming, silver cans, just for us.
Sweet jeepers.
Wow.
Share there, everyone, share.
Uh, that's a baby diaper. And that does come out of a wazoo. So, what do you think? Was I right or was I right? And these things are just the scraps! Wait'll you see what comes in the boxes, packages and cans! I'm telling you, stick with me, and in one week we will gather enough food to... To feed a bear!
Halt! Intruders! Intruders! Get out, all of you.
Well, you said to lick our...
No! Nix that! RUN!
Run!
Get outta here! Shoo!
To the hedge!
Get out of here! I just mopped this patio! Filthy vermin!
Verne's right, that was horrible.
You kids okay? Hon, you alright there?
We'll find other food, right?
See what I mean? That's what I was talking about! These humans don't want us around!
So we scared her, and she overreacted. No biggie.
No biggie? OH! That is what we call a biggie.
Come on, think about the food. It was worth it for that food, huh? That stuff is to die for! [Ozzie faints] Let me rephrase that.
No, "to die for." You nailed that part. Look, maybe our little forest life looks primitive to a guy with a bag.
What?
But I think I speak for the whole family when I say we want NOTHING to do with ANYTHING THAT’S OVER THAT HEDGE!
Oh, come on!
I'm done.
You haven't even tried doughnuts yet! You wanna store fat? That is the way to store some fat. You'll be sweatin' through the winter! -
We'll eat the bark, right?
OK, all right, you guys sleep on it! Good idea. I'm gonna check back with you. Shoot! Almost had 'em.
Good night.
Good night, Ozzie.
Good night.
Good night, Lou.
Good night there Verne.
Night, Penny.
Good night.
Good night, Hammy.
Good night Verne.
Night, Bucky.
Good night.
Good night, Spike.
Good night, Uncle Verne.
Good night, Quillo.
Night, Uncle Verne.
When we wake up, only 273 days left till winter.
That's enough, Verne.
Good night, 273.
Spuddies... Cooler... Wagon... Redder wagon.
Time's up, RJ.
But I have six more days!
That's what I call a super-duper performance there.
I wanna do it again!
Beyond super. They were riveted, man. You were awesome!
Dad. I just gotta say, that was... that was pretty good.
Props for the Ozman!
Ozman!
But let's not forget our brilliant leadership: RJ.
RJ!
Hey, RJ, come this way. We wanna show you something.
Yeah, sure.
Sweet.
What a team!
That raccoon knows what he's doing.
You're my hero there, fella.
Over here, this way.
RJ, come on!
Yeah, we wanna show you something. Come on, hurry!
Check it out. [RJ looks around at some random objects of his new home] Your new home!
That's for me?
Yeah, is this anything like what you had, RJ?
This isn't anything like what I had, Lou.
Thanks. [to Heather, who sits on RJ's bag] Oh. [clears his throat] Is that my bag?
Yeah, we brought it in here so you wouldn't have to sleep in that old tree.
Really? Wow.
Hey, RJ, check this out! We totally hooked up the TV.
I hot-wired the HD converter.
We get like 1,000 channels!
Here, can you take the remote before my dad does?
Wow. A universal remote? This is nice, guys. Really nice. [turns on the TV]
And now, we return to "A Scoundrel Among Us".
You should be ashamed of yourself! We let you into our family, and you deceived us! [RJ changes the channel]
I gave you my heart, and then you ripped it into a million pieces! [RJ changes the channel again]
Get real, Kevin. Because when you feel like a dirtbag, it's because you're a dirtbag, right? So just say it out loud: "I am a dirtbag."
"Dirtbag"? I don't think that guy's a real doctor. What've you think there, RJ? [notices RJ has gone] RJ?
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, RJ. What are you doing, man? You are getting in way too deep. Just get the food. Feed the bear. Get the food. Feed the bear. WAAH! Where's the food? Where's the food?! WHERE'S THE FOOD?!
Good night, Uncle RJ.
Good night, kiddo.
Moon's full, RJ. See ya in the morning.
This'll cut you down to size!
Is it done?
Affirmative.
And did you put this one in? [after installed a lot of traps] What about this one, this Depelter Turbo?
That's a contraband item, ma'am, as it is illegal in every state, [with his hand over his heart] except Texas.
I don't care if this violates the Geneva Conventions, I want it.
I thought you might, so I took the liberty of installing it for you. [as he tosses a stuffed teddy bear in it] Adios, animal infestation.
Oh my. [chuckles, laughing] [RJ sits on the root, looks up at the full moon, pulls out the list, and sadly crumpled it up]
I shouldn't have taken all that food.
What?
I shouldn't have taken all that food. I was just trying to return things to the way they were. That's all. I was just being cautious, 'cause that's what I am. I'm naturally tentative. There's even places in my shell I haven't been. You, on the other hand. You're, like, cool and crazy and fearless. [sits down next to RJ] I think they're right. I think I'm just jealous.
Verne, believe me. You should not be jealous of me. You...You got a good thing here. You're just trying to do what's best for your family.
And I think you're what's best for them now.
What about your tail?
Eh...My head says "listen to my tail," and my tail says "just listen to my head," and I just...end up with an upset stomach. That's why you need to be in charge now.
You don't really know what's going on here.
And you do! So...what's the problem?
This, Verne, is the problem. You see this? [hears the sound of a vehicle backing up]
I'm listening.
Just...
Uh-huh?
Just hang on a 2nd.
Alright.
Hey, uh, you the lady throwing the party?
Yes. Just to the right. There are protected booties to put on over your shoes.
What? Oh. That...
Mmm-hmm?
...is a...list...
Of?
...of all the stuff that you've lost, Verne.
Really?
Well, it's a big, long list. You can see that.
Well, you're an organized little guy, aren't ya? Nice job.
But, you know what? I know place that's so chockful of food, [takes the list from Verne] we can get it all back in one night.
Great. Let's go. Where is it?
Inside that house.
Verne! [tries to catch Verne, but only grabs his shell; examines it] What is the point of this thing?
What Verne's trying to say is...I mean, it's hard to really sum it all in just one word...
Aww, come here!
That's right. OK! Listen, stay in the huddle. Here's the plan. Now, the traps are set here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here. Here, here, here, here. Big one here, here, - and maybe a few over here.
Gee, is that all?
No. There's a bunch of red lights all over here. OK, Verne? Looking a little green.
I blacked out for a second there, but I get the idea. There's lights, traps... I might need to change my shell.
Can I be the car?
I wanna be the car!
I'm the car! You be the shoe.
Shoe is lame.
Why don't you be that snazzy lookin' iron there?
Hey, it's not important! Besides, I'm the car! I'm always the car. The plan works in three simple steps. Step one, kill the lights. Step two, get inside. Step three, get out with mountain of food.
But this place is like a fortress. Walls, so high. Doors, impenetrable. How will we get in?
The collar is the key. Literally, the collar. It's like a key that opens the door and if...
And what? You think he's just gonna hand over his collar to you?
Not to me, my femme fatale. To you.
Her?
Me?
You, Stella, will get that cat to give you his collar by using...
My stink.
...your feminine charms.
Was that out loud?
Look, raccoon, maybe that mask you're wearing is obstructing your view, but if you haven't noticed, I'm a skunk.
On the outside, maybe. But I'm looking inside, Stella, and I see a fox. And all we gotta do is get her out.
Scissors?
Here we go.
Hey! Watch the...
Charcoal.
Charcoal?
Air freshener.
Tomato juice.
Cork.
Cork? Don't you dare.
Get 'em! Score! Yeah!
One more thing.
Ow!
Whoa. Stop. That's it. Ladies and gentlemen, our work here is done.
Oh, my.
Big jeepers.
She's all like, wow.
What?
Oh. Meow.
Whoa! Amazing!
Gosh, she looks... Wow.
All right, gang, this is it. We're going in.
You've just been verminated. [turns to Gladys] Whoa. You stink.
Hey, Nancy, stop you're honkin'! These little guys will be disposed of quickly and humanely.
No, not humanely--as inhumanely as possible!
It was a pleasure doing business with you, ma'am. [The caged animals watched RJ leave with the wagon of food, feeling betrayed.]
What's he gonna do to us, Mama?
I...I don't know, baby.
I don't wanna die, Dad. Not for real.
There, there, sweetheart. We'll be okay. [Stella, from her cage holds Hammy's hand, who is in his own cage, scared]
You were right about him, Verne. We should've listened. Sorry there.
No. [sits down] I knew we wouldn't trust him, and I got us into this. I should have known better.
We're out of control!
We can drive.
It's just like Auto-Homicide 3!
What?
Verne, let me in! Wrong button! Wrong button!
Please select destination.
Take us home! Take us to the log!
Previous destination selected. Make a legal U-turn.
We got it!
Hammy! Let me in!
Not listening to RJ.
Kids, lose that bear!
What weapons do we have?
We've got a hammer.
Cool.
You little...
Thank you! Yes, Yes! [The animals end up throwing him out] Hey! Let me in, let me in!
No! Ring-tailed charlatan! [rolls up the window]
Ozzie!
He's just trying to help us. Just let him in!
After what he did to us?
But he came back. [Vincent's roar is heard]
And he brought a bear!
We will turn this van around, mister. [The animals were shocked and stunned]
He started it.
I'm telling you. He's just trying to help us, really.
But, Verne, you're the one who always says trust your tail.
But it's not tingling.
Ohhh!
Why didn't you say so?
Hey! Thank you, thank you.
You're dead, RJ!
Duck!
And your friends are next.
Look out!
Make an immediate left turn.
Bonus points!
Yeah!
RJ!
Yeah!
Look out.
High score.
No, no, no, no!
You have arrived.
Everybody all right?
Come on!
We've gotta go, we've gotta go!
The old jazz dance injury.
RJ
Bruce Willis
Hammy
Steve Carell
Verne
Garry Shandling
Lou and Penny
Ozzie and Heather
Stella
Wanda Sykes
Gladys Sharp
Allison Janney
Vincent
Nick Nolte
Dwayne LaFontant
Thomas Haden Church
Spike
Shane Baumel
Quillo
Madison Davenport
Tiger
Omid Djalili
Animals
Nugent
Brian Stepanek
Skeeter
Paul Butcher
Woman