L Lou
I don't care who started it.
P Penny
[Verne waved the branch, getting everyone's attention]
Oh, look, food.
Well, I think you know what this means.
Just a minute, Hammy. [passing one grab to each of them] This means we were nine berries away from starvation. Sorry. That was a little intense. I meant really serious hunger pains.
Not finished, Hammy. Morning, Lou, Penny.
Hey, kids. So, what I want to tell you is...
I'm not done, Hammy. If you have to go again, just go. OK. So all I'm saying is we cut it a little close. So this year, we need to make sure that we fill the log...
O Ozzie
All the way to the top.
Exactly. [meanwhile, RJ is walking by the bushes, seeing them for the first time] All the way to the top. Because what are we?
L Lou
Super, Verne, really super.
What is it you want to tell me?
What was it, what was it, what was it, what was it? Wait. Right on the tip of my tongue. Oh, yeah! There's a weird thing over there. I've never seen before. It's really scary. Follow me.
OK. Meeting called on account of weird scary thing. Let's go. [unknown to the family, RJ was watching them behind bushes]
Hammy, what weird thing? [seeing what Hammy is pointing at] Oh. That weird thing.
[They look over to the left and right of the massive hedge, Hammy speeds way to the side of the hedge]
It never ends!
[He speeds the other way, brushing past RJ]
Whoa! [Hammy zooms past RJ again] Hey!
It never ends that way too.
L Lou
Whoa. Yeah, jeepers is the word there, hon.
O Ozzie
I've never seen anything like this.
H Heather
What is this thing?
P Penny
It's OK, it's just a... What is this thing, Lou?
L Lou
I... Well, it's a... It's... Verne?
Well, it's... it's obviously....some kind of bush?
P Penny
I'd be less afraid of it if I just knew what it was called.
H Heather
Steve sounds nice.
P Penny
I'm a lot less scared of Steve.
O Ozzie
Oh, great and powerful Steve! What do you want?
I don't think it can speak.
Woman's voice: I heard that, young man!
[It made the animals yelp and Ozzie passes out] Woman's voice: You get over here right now!
[Stella pulls Ozzie back while Verne stops Hammy]
Hammy, get back here.
It probably came from the other side of Steve. I mean the bush. I mean... Jeez! [letting out a sign] Look, there's only one way we're gonna find out what this thing is, and what this is all about. I'm gonna go check it out. [Verne takes a few slow steps, ] Ah!
Aye aye yay. [until he tripped and fell into the hedge, frightening the animals]
All right, Steve, you brought this on yourself.
Stella, don't! I'm not eaten, I just tripped. I'm gonna go over there. Just don't anybody move.
[Verne made his way through the hedge and found himself in a backyard of a house]
Kids, come on, hurry up! You'll be late!
What is this place?
[looking around, rj sees homes houses neighborhood. He sees a dragonfly flying by]
That's what I call a super-duper performance there.
Beyond super. They were riveted, man. You were awesome!
H Heather
Dad. I just gotta say, that was... that was pretty good.
O Ozzie
But let's not forget our brilliant leadership: RJ.
H Heather
Hey, RJ, come this way. We wanna show you something.
That raccoon knows what he's doing.
You're my hero there, fella.
H Heather
Over here, this way.
Yeah, we wanna show you something. Come on, hurry!
[The animals, except Verne, shows RJ a surprise; his new home]
Check it out. [RJ looks around at some random objects of his new home] Your new home!
[gestures at the baby car seat]
And look, we got a place for you right here!
Yeah, is this anything like what you had, RJ?
This isn't anything like what I had, Lou.
[hands RJ a can of caffeine]
Here, I'm not supposed to drink this.
Thanks. [to Heather, who sits on RJ's bag] Oh. [clears his throat] Is that my bag?
H Heather
Yeah, we brought it in here so you wouldn't have to sleep in that old tree.
Hey, RJ, check this out! We totally hooked up the TV.
I hot-wired the HD converter.
We get like 1,000 channels!
H Heather
Here, can you take the remote before my dad does?
Wow. A universal remote? This is nice, guys. Really nice. [turns on the TV]
TA TV Announcer
And now, we return to "A Scoundrel Among Us".
You should be ashamed of yourself! We let you into our family, and you deceived us! [RJ changes the channel]
M Man
I gave you my heart, and then you ripped it into a million pieces! [RJ changes the channel again]
D Dr. Dennis
Get real, Kevin. Because when you feel like a dirtbag, it's because you're a dirtbag, right? So just say it out loud: "I am a dirtbag."
"Dirtbag"? I don't think that guy's a real doctor. What've you think there, RJ? [notices RJ has gone] RJ?
[They realized that RJ has ran off.]
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, RJ. What are you doing, man? You are getting in way too deep. Just get the food. Feed the bear. Get the food. Feed the bear. WAAH! Where's the food? Where's the food?! WHERE'S THE FOOD?!
Moon's full, RJ. See ya in the morning.
[RJ sighs and looked at the children before he pulled out his list. He hears something coming from the backyard.]
This'll cut you down to size!
[He looks over to see Dwayne putting traps around the backyard.]
I got ya!
And did you put this one in? [after installed a lot of traps] What about this one, this Depelter Turbo?
That's a contraband item, ma'am, as it is illegal in every state, [with his hand over his heart] except Texas.
I don't care if this violates the Geneva Conventions, I want it.
I thought you might, so I took the liberty of installing it for you. [as he tosses a stuffed teddy bear in it] Adios, animal infestation.
[horrified at the sight before him]
'AHHHHH!!! [We see it in a cage, with outside burned off]
Oh my. [chuckles, laughing] [RJ sits on the root, looks up at the full moon, pulls out the list, and sadly crumpled it up]
[to himself]
What have I done?
I shouldn't have taken all that food.
I shouldn't have taken all that food. I was just trying to return things to the way they were. That's all. I was just being cautious, 'cause that's what I am. I'm naturally tentative. There's even places in my shell I haven't been. You, on the other hand. You're, like, cool and crazy and fearless. [sits down next to RJ] I think they're right. I think I'm just jealous.
[sighs]
Verne, believe me. You should not be jealous of me. You...You got a good thing here. You're just trying to do what's best for your family.
And I think you're what's best for them now.
Eh...My head says "listen to my tail," and my tail says "just listen to my head," and I just...end up with an upset stomach. That's why you need to be in charge now.
You don't really know what's going on here.
And you do! So...what's the problem?
[hands Verne his crumpled-up list]
This, Verne, is the problem. You see this? [hears the sound of a vehicle backing up]
DM Delivery Man
[RJ climbs up a tree to see Gladys having food delivered to her house]
Hey, uh, you the lady throwing the party?
Yes. Just to the right. There are protected booties to put on over your shoes.
[sees a container of Spuddies in one of the boxes]
Yes! Yes!
[appears behind RJ with the list]
Um, uh, what is this?
...of all the stuff that you've lost, Verne.
Well, it's a big, long list. You can see that.
Well, you're an organized little guy, aren't ya? Nice job.
But, you know what? I know place that's so chockful of food, [takes the list from Verne] we can get it all back in one night.
Great. Let's go. Where is it?
[leans over to get a view]
What? [falls off the branch]
Verne! [tries to catch Verne, but only grabs his shell; examines it] What is the point of this thing?
[from below; off-screen]
Just send it down.
[Scene switches to RJ talking to the other animals about Verne]
What Verne's trying to say is...I mean, it's hard to really sum it all in just one word...
[quietly stops RJ, to the animals]
I'm sorry.
[The animals all huddle up for a big group hug]
That's right. OK! Listen, stay in the huddle. Here's the plan. Now, the traps are set here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here. Here, here, here, here. Big one here, here, - and maybe a few over here.
No. There's a bunch of red lights all over here. OK, Verne? Looking a little green.
I blacked out for a second there, but I get the idea. There's lights, traps... I might need to change my shell.
[getting out Monopoly game pieces]
Okay, this is us.
I'm the car! You be the shoe.
L Lou
Why don't you be that snazzy lookin' iron there?
Hey, it's not important! Besides, I'm the car! I'm always the car. The plan works in three simple steps. Step one, kill the lights. Step two, get inside. Step three, get out with mountain of food.
O Ozzie
But this place is like a fortress. Walls, so high. Doors, impenetrable. How will we get in?
The collar is the key. Literally, the collar. It's like a key that opens the door and if...
And what? You think he's just gonna hand over his collar to you?
Not to me, my femme fatale. To you.
You, Stella, will get that cat to give you his collar by using...
Look, raccoon, maybe that mask you're wearing is obstructing your view, but if you haven't noticed, I'm a skunk.
On the outside, maybe. But I'm looking inside, Stella, and I see a fox. And all we gotta do is get her out.
[Later, the animals started to stylize Stella.]
Scissors.
PK Porcupine Kids
Get 'em! Score! Yeah!
Whoa. Stop. That's it. Ladies and gentlemen, our work here is done.
H Heather
She's all like, wow.
[Stella looked and saw that she was all black and she can see since her long bangs were cut off.]
Oh. Meow.
H Heather
Gosh, she looks... Wow.
All right, gang, this is it. We're going in.
