Most scenes together: Toula & Gus Portokalos (5), Toula & Nick (4), Toula & Ian (3)
Toula, have you seen Nikki?
What's up, dear?
No, my Nikki. She was supposed to come over and curl my hairs.
Yeah, I checked it.
It better be fresh!
Ο Νίκος έχει ένα κατσίκι. (Nikos has one goat.)
Now, gimme a word, any word, and I show (sow) you how the root of that word is Greek.
Young Athena Oh, not this again.
Okay? How about arachnophobia? Arachna, that comes from the Greek word for spider, and phobia is a phobia, is mean fear. So, fear of spider, there you go.
Okay, Mr. Portokalos. How about the word kimono?
Young Athena Good one.
Kimono, kimono, kimono. Ha! Of course! Kimono is come from the Greek word himona, is mean winter. So, what do you wear in the wintertime to stay warm? A robe. You see: robe, kimono. There you go!
You sneak around all over Chicago, but you never come here to ask me, can you date my daughter?
Well, I'm sorry, I'll ask you if I can date your daughter. Sir, she's thirty years old.
I am the head of this house.
Okay, may I please date your daughter?
Noooooo!
I know this great place... Zorba something... anyway, I'd love to take you there if you'd like to go.
Uh, that place, Dancing Zorba's...
Dancing Zorba's!
My family kinda owns that place.
Seating hostess, actually.
I remember you.
Look, I was going through a phase until now. I was Frump Girl.
I don't remember Frump Girl, but I remember you.
What do you do for Christmas with your family?
Uh, my mom makes roast lamb.
Mmm... with mint jelly?
No.
And...
Right...?
So, what happens is my dad and uncles, they fight over who gets to eat the lamb brain. And then my aunt Voula forks the eyeball and chases me around with it, try to get me to eat it, 'cause it's gonna make me smart. So, you have two cousins, I have 27 first cousins. Just 27 first cousins alone! And my whole family is big and loud. And everybody is in each other's lives and business. All the time! Like, you never just have a minute alone, just to think, 'Cause we're always together, just eating, eating, eating! The only other people we know are Greeks, 'cause Greeks marry Greeks to breed more Greeks, to be loud breeding Greek eaters.
Wow.
What is wrong with Toula going to school downtown?
There's drugs downtown!
What are you saying? Are you saying Toula will get involved with drugs?
No. But somebody will say to her, "Eh, take this bag down to the bus depot," and she'll do it!
She is not stupid! She's smart!
I know she's smart. So what for she needs more school? She's smart enough for a girl.
What? What you mean? I run the restaurant, I cook, I clean, I wash for you! And I raise three kids! And I teach Sunday school! You know? It's lucky for me I have you to tie my shoes!
Maria!
[Maria leaves the room, slamming the door, and smiles at Toula.]
Ian, are you hungry?
Uh no, I already ate.
Okay, I make you something.
Toula, on my wedding night, my mother, she said to me, "Greek women, we may be lambs in the kitchen, but we are tigers in the bedroom!"
Eww. Please let that be the end of your speech.
A couple more years went by, and Dad brought his mother over from Greece to live with us. Because we weren't weird enough.
Yiayia Listen up, ugly Turk. You're not kidnapping me!
Mama, please! The Greeks and the Turks friends now!
We told my grandma the war was over, but she still slept with a knife under her pillow.
Taki, you couldn't wait for me?
Taki Sorry, sorry.
Sorry, sorry. Don't sorry me. Ugh. Look at this, a rash. Somebody gave me the mati.
Put some Windex on. [sprays Windex on her rash]
Ohh Gus, please, please!
Voula, this works! Last night, my toe was as big as my face.
Taki Taki 'Cause, he wants to talk.
Sometimes, I am afraid that it didn't happen. I'm scared that I'll wake up and still be buttering garlic bread, waiting for my life to start. But it did happen, it did! And I figured out some stuff. My family is big and loud, but they're my family. We fight and we laugh, and yes, we roast lamb on a spit in the front yard. And wherever I go, whatever I do, they will always be there. [scene change to Toula, Ian, and their young daughter in the present day] So, Ian and I moved into the house my parents bought us, a minute later I was pregnant, and six years later it was our daughter's turn to go to Greek School.
But Mom, I wanna go to Brownies.
I know, I know, but I promise you this, you can marry whoever you want!
Dad, I've been going through our inventory and, um, I've noticed that we've been doing a lot of unnecessary ordering. Um, so, I've been thinking that maybe we should update our system, like, get a computer. I don't know if you remember, but I got all A's in computers. But there's a lot of new stuff to learn now, so, um, if you want, I could go to college and, um, take a few courses.
Why? Why you want to leave me? [starts crying]
I'm not leaving you! Don't you want me to do something with my life?
Yes! Get married! Make babies! You look so...old!
I woke up with this huge zit this morning.
Where?
I had a huge zit this morning!
Really? Where?
Why?
I put some Windex on it.
Ma, Dad is so stubborn. What he says goes. "Ah, the man is the head of the house!"
Let me tell you something, Toula. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.
