Cady [at a Mathletes competition]
The limit does not exist!
Played by Lindsay Lohan 
Mean Girls (2004) · 180 quotes
Mean Girls (2004) · 180 quotes
Most-quoted character in Mean Girls (2004): in 51 of its 180 quotes
Most scenes with: Regina (18), Janis (10), Damian (7)
: (in her mind)I was a woman possessed. I spent about 80% of my time talking about Regina, and the other 20% of the time, I was praying for someone else to bring her up so I could talk about her more. I could hear people getting bored with me, but I couldn't stop. It just kept coming up like word vomit. (out loud) I have this theory that if you cut off all her hair she'd look like a British man.
More lines from Cady
11 quotes Cady Cady [narrating]
Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George's life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.
Cady [voiceover]
In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.
Cady [voiceover]
I know it may look like I had become a bitch, but that's only because I was acting like a bitch.
Cady Everyone in Africa knows Swedish.
Cady Grool...[chuckles] I meant to say cool and then I started to say great.
Cady Half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front a bus, so that's not good.
Cady I'm thinking of joining the Mathletes.
Cady I have enough cheese and crackers for 8 people...do you think that's enough?
Cady [about homeschooled kids]
They think we're weirdly religious or something.
Cady (voiceover)
Having lunch with The Plastics was like leaving the Actual World and entering Girl World. And Girl World had a lot of rules.
Scenes with Cady
39 scenes Cady Hey!
Why were you talking to Janis Ian?
Cady I don't know, I mean, she's so weird, she just came up to me and started talking to me about crack.
She's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend, Kyle, who was totally gorgeous. But then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like "Why didn't you call me back?". And I'd be like "Why are you so obsessed with me?". So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like "Janis, I can't invite you because I think you're a lesbian". I mean, I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their bathing suits. I mean, right? She was a lesbian. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so ****. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's on crack.
Why are you dressed so scary?
Cady It's Halloween.
[delivering candy canes]
Taylor Zimmermann, two for you. Glenn Coco? FOUR for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco. And, uh... "Caddy" Heron. Do we have a "Caddy" Heron here?
Cady It's Cady.
Oh, Cady, here you go, one for you... and none for Gretchen Wieners, bye.
Cady Um, is there alcohol in this?
Oh, God, honey, no! What kind of mother do you think I am? Why, do you want a little bit? Because if you're going to drink I'd rather you do it in the house.
Wait, so you've never been to a real school before? [Cady shakes her head] Shut up. Shut up!
Cady I didn't say anything.
Cady [after humiliating Regina]
Wait, Regina, I didn't mean for this to happen!
To find out that everyone hates me? I don't care!
Cady Wait, Regina, just listen!
No! Do you know what everyone says about you? Hmm? They say that you're a homeschooled jungle freak, that's a less hot version of me! Yeah! So don't try to act so innocent! You can take that fake apology, and shove it right up your hairy- [Regina gets hit by a bus]
Joan the Secretary And finally, the nominees for 'Spring Fling Queen'! Regina George...
Joan the Secretary [class applauds]
Gretchen Wieners.
Joan the Secretary [class applauds and Gretchen responds breathlessly]
Janis Ian.
Damien!
Joan the Secretary And finally, Cady Heron!
Cady [class applauds]
Damien? You put me in there too? That's not part of the plan!
I didn't put you in there...
Cady [surprised]
You mean I'm really nominated?
Hey, how was school?
Cady Fine.
Were people nice?
Cady No.
Did you make any friends?
Cady Yes.
But you're, like, really pretty.
Cady Thank you.
So you agree?
Cady What?
You think you're really pretty?
Cady You're not stupid, Karen.
No, I am actually. I'm failing almost everything.
Cady Well... there must be something you're good at.
I can stick my whole fist in my mouth. Wanna see?
Cady No no no... Anything else?
Well... I'm kinda psychic. I have a fifth sense.
Cady What do you mean?
It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain.
Cady Really? That's amazing.
Well... they can tell when it's raining.
Cady Yeah, I like math.
Ew.. why?
Cady Because it's the same in every country.
That's beautiful. This girl is deep.
Why don't I know you?
Cady I'm new. I just moved here from Africa.
What?
Cady I used to be home-schooled.
Wait... what?
Cady My mom taught me at home...
No, I know what home-school is, I'm not ****. So you've actually never been to a real school before? Shut up. Shut up!
Cady I didn't say anything.
Why didn't they just keep home schooling you?
Cady They wanted me to get socialized.
Oh, you'll get socialized all right, a little slice like you.
Cady What are you talking about?
You're a regulation hottie.
Cady What?
Own it.
Is your muffin buttered?
Cady What?
Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?
Cady My what?
Is he bothering you? Jason, why are you such a skeaze?
I'm just being friendly.
Jason, you do not come to a party at my house with Gretchen and then scam on some poor innocent girl right in front of us three days later. She's not interested. Do you want to have sex with him?
Cady No, thank you.
Good. So it's settled. So you can go shave your back now. Bye, Jason.
Cady She took him back. Regina took Aaron back.
Oh, no, Cady...
Cady Why would she do that?
'Cause she's a life ruiner. She ruins people's lives.
This is your lunch, OK? I put a dollar in there so you can buy some milk; you can ask one of the big kids where to do that.
Do you remember your phone number? I wrote it down for you just in case. Put it in your pocket, I don't want you to lose it. OK? You ready?
Cady I think so.
Cady And they have this book, this burn book, where they write mean things about all the girls in our grade.
What does it say about me?
Cady [lying]
You're not in it.
Those bitches.
Cady [describing Regina]
She's not even that good looking if you really look at her.
I don't know, now that she's getting fatter she's got pretty big jugs.
Look, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but I only date women of color.
Cady I have to pee.
[Regina, Karen, Gretchen and Cady listening to Katy Rose's Overdrive]
Cady, do you even know who sings this?
Cady Um... the Spice Girls?
God. My hips are huge!
Oh please. I hate my calves.
At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders.
Cady [voiceover]
I used to think there was just fat and skinny. But apparently there's lots of things that can be wrong on your body.
My hairline is so weird.
My pores are huge.
My nail beds suck.
Cady [pause. All look at Cady]
I have really bad breath in the morning.
Ew...
[Mr. Duvall is introducing Cady to the class]
Her name is Cady. Cady Heron. Where are you, Cady?
Cady That's me. It's pronounced like Katie.
My apologies. I have a nephew named Anfernee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfernee.
Cady I think I'm joining the Mathletes.
Regina, Gretchen, and Karen
NO! No, no!
You cannot do that. That is social suicide. Damn! You are so lucky you have us to guide you.
Regina, we have to talk to you.
Is butter a carb?
Cady Yes.
Regina, you're wearing sweatpants. It's Monday.
So...?
So that's against the rules, and you can't sit with us.
Whatever. Those rules aren't real.
They were real that day I wore a vest!
Because that vest was disgusting!
You can't sit with us!
Cady [voiceover]
Oh, no. It was coming up again, word vomit... no, wait a minute...
Cady [voiceover]
Actual vomit.
Oh, my God! I love this song!
I hate this song.
Cady I know this song!
Cady Oh, God...
You dirty little liar!
Cady I'm sorry, I can explain.
Explain what? How you forgot to invite us to your "cool party"?
Janis, I cannot stop this car. I have a curfew.
Cady You know I couldn't invite you! I had to pretend to be plastic!
But you're not pretending anymore! You're plastic! Cold, shiny, hard plastic!
Curfew, 1 a.m., it is now 1:10.
Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters, listen to awesome music, and just sit around and soak up each others' awesomeness?
Cady You know what? You're the one who made me like this so you could use me for your eighth grade revenge!
God! See, at least me and Regina George know we're mean! But you try to act so innocent like, "Oh, I use to live in Africa with all the little birdies, and the little monkeys!"
Cady You know what! It's not my fault you're like, in love with me, or something!
What?
Damian [abruptly stops the car]: Oh no she did not!
See, that's the thing with you Plastics, you think everyone's in love with you, but in realitly, everyone *hates* you, like Aaron Samuels for example! He broke up with Regina and guess what, he still doesn't want you, Cady! So why are you still messing with Regina? I'll tell you why, because you are a mean girl, you're a bitch! Here, you can have this, it won a prize.
[Damian drives away with Janis, yelling out the window]
And I want my pink shirt back! I WANT MY PINK SHIRT BACK!
Cady Hey!... Are we still in a fight?
Are you still an asshole?
Cady No. I don't think so.
Cady So, are you gonna send any candy canes?
No. I don't send them, I just get them. So you better send me one, biatch. Love ya, bye! *blows kiss*
Cady Wow. Your house is really nice.
I know, right?
120 calories and 48 calories from fat. What percent is that?
Uh, 48 into 120?
I'm only eating foods with less than 30 percent calories from fat.
Cady It's 40 percent. Well 48 over 120 equals X over 100 and then you cross multiply and get the value of X.
Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries.
What is that smell?
Cady Oh, Regina gave me some perfume.
You smell like a baby prostitute.
Cady Thanks.
[Janis sprays deodorant at Cady]
You nervous?
Cady Yes.
Don't be. You can do this. There's nothing to break your focus, because not one of those Marymount boys is cute.
Well, I mean you wouldn't buy a skirt without asking your friends first if it looks good on you.
Cady I wouldn't?
Right. Oh, and it's the same with guys. Like, you may think you like someone, but you could be wrong.
Cady [voiceover]
Finally, Girl World was at peace.
Hey, check it out. Junior Plastics.
Cady [voiceover]
And if any freshmen tried to disturb that peace, well, let's just say we knew how to take care of it.
Cady [Imagines Junior Plastics being hit by a bus] [voiceover]
Just kidding.
Cady (voiceover)
The weird thing about hanging out with Regina was that I could hate her, and at the same time, I still wanted her to like me.
OK. You have really good eyebrows.
Cady Thanks.
Cady (voiceover)
Same with Gretchen. The meaner Regina was to her, the more Gretchen tried to win Regina back. She knew it was better to be in The Plastics, hating life, than to not be in at all. Because being with The Plastics was like being famous. People looked at you all the time, and everybody just knew stuff about you.
That new girl moved here from Africa.
I saw Cady Heron wearing army pants and flip-flops, so I bought army pants and flip-flops.
That Cady girl is hot. She might even be hotter than Regina George.
I hear Regina George is dating Aaron Samuels again. The two were seen canoodling at Chris Eisel’s Halloween party. They’ve been inseparable ever since.
Cady (after humiliating Regina)
Regina, wait! I didn’t mean for that to happen!
To find out that everyone hates me? I don’t care!
Cady Regina, please! Regina, stop!
(turns to Cady and screams as she walks toward her)
Do you know what everyone says about you? They say that you’re nothing but a home-schooled jungle freak, who happens to be a less hot version of me! Yeah! So don’t bother trying to act so innocent! You can take that fake apology and shove it right up your hairy— (gets hit by a bus)
Cady (voiceover)
And that's how Regina George died. No, I’m totally kidding. But the fact is, she did get hurt. Some girls say they saw her head go all the way around. But that's just a rumor. Some people swear they saw me push her right in front of the bus. That was an even worse rumor.
Cady So are we still in a fight?
Are you still an asshole?
Cady I don’t think so.
Well, then I guess we’re OK.
Cady Regina! Wow, you look really beautiful.
I’m wearing a spinal halo.
Cady Look, I’m really sorry about the bus. I feel like it’s all my fault.
Stop making this about you. I’m the one that got hit by the bus.
Cady I’m really sorry about all the other stuff, too.
Okay, I’m going to forgive you because I’m a very Zen person… and I’m on a lot of pain medication right now. (Cady smiles) You know, Aaron really does like you. He’s always talking about how unusual you are and it really pissed me off. Like this one time, I got this really expensive doll house from Germany, but I never played with it. So my mom wanted to give it to my cousin. But even though I didn’t want it…
Cady You begged your mom to let you keep it?
No. I threw it down the stairs. (they giggle) I didn’t want anyone else to have it. But that’s just me.
Regina! They’re about to announce the queen. (sees Cady) Hello.
Can you believe my f-ing mom is here? (they giggle) Bye. (waves)
Other characters in Mean Girls
Regina
Rachel McAdams
Janis
Lizzy Caplan
Gretchen
Lacey Chabert
Damian
Daniel Franzese
Karen
Amanda Seyfried
Mr. Duvall
Tim Meadows
Kevin Gnapoor
Rajiv Surendra
Mrs. George
Amy Poehler
Ms. Norbury
Tina Fey
Betsy Heron
Chip Heron
Jason
Daniel DeSanto
Bethany Byrd
Stefanie Drummond
Short Girl
Kristen Bone
