Joy.
Anna
Mr. Bates, I really don't understand this Frankie.
Mr. Bates
You completely missed the point of the book.
Anna
It's "1984". How could anyone miss it? It's a blatant attack on totalitarianism, about a rigid society, dominated by one all-powerful, ego-tripping dictator—
Mr. Bates
My grade is final.
Anna
Except he had hair. [Walks away]
Mr. Bates
Anna!
Harry
I don't think he knows I even exist, so stupid thinkin' about him, but I can't help it. Jake! Ooooh! Jake!
Anna
GET OUTTA MY ROOOOM!!! [Anna chases the boys from her room] OUT! [Realizes her door is missing] Oh! My... My... Ah!
She saw it. [Anna shrieks again off-screen]
I'm gonna check out those Lakers.
I'm with you.
Anna
Mom! Mom, did you see what happened to my doo--? [sees Tess sitting at the table with her arms crossed]
I spoke to your principal.
Anna
What?!
Just now, on the phone.
Anna
Where's my door?
Privacy is a privilege, Anna.
Anna
Where's my door, Mom?
Your door will be returned to you, Anna, if or when you can explain--
Anna
I need my door. You give me the door, or I will kill myself!
Harry
Oh! Can I watch?
Harry!
Anna
SHUT UP!!! [Boys run away]
I think we can dispense with the drama. And maybe you can just calmly explain to me why you were in detention twice today.
Anna
Okay, I went to detention. But that was only because Stacey Hinkhouse kept hitting me on the head with a volleyball!
Now, when is this conflict with Stacey Hinkhouse going to end?
Anna
Never, because she's an insane, psycho freak! And you'd know that if you'd paid like a speck of attention while door is gone and it’s all your fault!
Anna?!
Anna
What?!
I think you know I pay attention, Anna. Enough to know that you got an F in English today.
Anna
Well, Mr. Bates is out to get me.
Oh, him too?
Anna
Yeah. You know, he just looks for ways to torture me. Like the one time Jake even spoke to me, he totally...
Who's Jake?
Anna
He's just... nobody.
You say I'm not interested, Anna. I'm interested. Try me.
Anna
Okay, he's just this really amazing guy, Mom.
Where'd you meet him?
Anna
Detention, but...
That's promising.
Anna
See? Do you see? Why do I even bother telling you anything?
Okay, who's up for Chinese?
Anna
YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE!!! I'M MOVING OUT AND I'M NEVER COMING BACK EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER AGAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNN!?
Hello, how are you?
Hello, Pei-Pei.
Anna, Harry, you're so big now. What happened? Are you happy for your mommy?
Anna
About what?
Oh. [laughs] She's such a joker. Who's catering? Chinese food good luck.
It's all planned already.
Okay, how about me?
Anna, I preordered the Peking Duck.
Anna
Joy.
Well, I know that's your favorite.
Anna
Whatever.
The wedding is in two days.
Think about it. See you soon. Happy dining.
Anna, your door is underneath the back stairs.
Anna
Like I didn't figure that out.
Stop groveling, man. Let her come to you.
She'd come with a hatchet. I think I'll go check on that duck.
Anna, do you really think that your surliness is the best way for you to get what you want?
Anna
I'm sorry, Mom. I really have been stressing in school, and I deserved every single one of those trips to detention. And I'm gonna apologize to Stacey Hinkhouse and Mr. Bates. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'll try and do better, Mom. I'll really, really try.
All right, what do you want?
Anna
To go to this really important audition tomorrow that we can never have again at the House of Blues.
An audition, that's great. Tomorrow? You mean after the rehearsal dinner?
Anna
Well, during.
"During". You mean as "instead of"?
Anna
Technically?
Anna, I need to talk to you right now.
Anna
I think I'm gonna pass on that.
Now! Anna, I am going to make one final attempt to understand what goes on in your head.
Anna
Don't treat me like your patients.
What?
Anna
All calm and reasonable. Let's talk about it. I really want to understand.
I really do want to understand, Anna!
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Oh, Mama, stay out of it, please. Mama.
Anna
Okay, fine. They're gonna pick one local band to play at Wango Tango. We were lucky to make this cut. Seriously, it's a once-in-a-lifetime chance, Mom. Please. Why can't I just go? Please.
And what I hear is that my special night means absolutely nothing to you.
Anna
I don't even have to ask if my band means anything to you. It's totally clear to us that you guys think we're all noise.
Harry
Look, I'm a walrus!
I do not!
Anna
Do too!
Anna, I let you practice in the garage. Anna, stop.
Anna
What?
Let's talk about what this is really about, okay? This is about your dad, isn't it?
Anna
Mom, stop shrinking me. It's not about Dad. It's about the audition! You're ruining my life!
Enough with the drama. Anna, high school is not that hard.
Anna
You couldn't last one day in my high school.
I could, and I would do it without getting a detention.
Anna
I'm sorry that I'm the one thing in your life that isn't perfect!
Perfect? You think my life is perfect?
Anna
Oh, I know your life is perfect. Your perfect job, perfect boyfriend, perfect patients who worship the ground you walk on.
You need a serious and bracing reality check if you think my life is perfect!
Anna
You can cut me some slack just this once, Mom.
I am beyond cutting you slack, Anna. But you are not going to the audition.
Anna
Yes, I am!
No, you're not!
Anna
Why not?
Because I said so!
Cookie?
Um... this isn't really a good time.
Now a good time. [speaking Chinese]
Okay, okay! Thank you. Anna, for one day, the entirety of our life is not gonna be focused on you.
Anna
Yeah, it's all about Ryan now, isn't it?
Anna!
Anna
Get away!
Honey!
