The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou quotes

View Quote Anne-Marie: Do you know that you just charted us on a course through unprotected waters?
Steve: Yeah, we're taking the shortcut.
Anne-Marie: But it's outside I.M.U. jurisdiction. There isn't any protection.
Steve: I know, honey. Look at the map. We go your way, that's about four inches. We go my way, it's an inch and a half. You wanna pay for the extra gas?

View Quote Steve: I hope you're not gonna bust our chops on this on, Bill.
Bill Ubell: Why would I do that?
Steve: Because you're a bond company stooge.
Bill Ubell: [scoffs] I'm also a human being.
Steve: All right, I take that back. How about a little teamsmanship?

View Quote Ned: What happened to Jacqueline?
Steve: She didn't really love me.

View Quote Steve: Are you sure?
Klaus: Yes, I am.
Steve: I don't understand. Why?
Klaus: What do you mean?... Wait a second. What are we doing? You said cross the line if.
Steve: Cross the line if you're going to quit.
Klaus: Oh... Do it again. I misunderstood.

View Quote Oseary Drakoulias: [on a speaker phone] I spoke with Larry Amin, and it's a pass.
Steve: In other words, you ****ed us!
Oseary Drakoulias: Let's not cast stones at one another, my dear. Do you hear me, damn it? Do you?
Steve: No, I don't! I told you how to play it!
Oseary Drakoulias: Oh, bloody hell! You listen here, mate!
Ned: Can I interrupt for a second?
Oseary Drakoulias: Who the blazes is that?
Ned: It's me, Ned. Maybe this is nothing, maybe it's something. I don't know what your problems are, I don't know... but I just inherited $275,000. Would that amount make any difference?
[silence]
Oseary Drakoulias: What sort of expression is the lad wearing on his face?

View Quote Ned: Stevesy, what's happenin'? Are those hijackers?
Steve: Well, we call them pirates out here, Ned. You were supposed to be on watch, by the way.

View Quote Jane: Steve, it's way safer for us to just do what they say. They probably just want our money and jewels and shit.
Steve: Yeah. Then how am I gonna finish my movie then?

View Quote Bill: Do you have a vault? They want to know if there's a vault.
Steve: There's no vault.
Steve: [narrating a scene of a do****entary being watched by the pirates] Our vault contains at least ten different currencies from all over the world at any given moment, and we are prepared for every kind of financial necessity.
Steve: [seeing pirates with the vault] There goes Ned's inheritance.

View Quote Steve: Ned, how many fingers am I holdin' up?
Ned: I don't know. That's not my job. Too many to tell. How many fingers—
Steve: He's gonna be just fine.

View Quote Steve: Look, if you're not against me... don't cross this line. If yes, do. I love you all.
Steve: [Klaus steps forward] Are you sure?
Klaus: Yes, I am.
Steve: I don't understand. Why?
Klaus: What do you mean? Wait a second. What are we doing? You said cross the line if—
Steve: Cross the line if you're going to quit.
Klaus: Oh. Do it again. I misunderstood.

View Quote Steve: That was all off the record, cubbie. That whole deal. Actually, I'm surprised you didn't cross the line yourself.
Jane: What line?
Steve: The line I drew on the deck just now. You weren't up there?
Jane: No.
Steve: You're kidding. That was one of the most dramatic things that's ever happened on this boat. I just lost all my best interns. I thought you were supposed to be covering this story.
Jane: You just said it was all off the record.
Steve: Yeah, but you didn't know that.

View Quote Steve: Wait a second. They stole my budget, my boat's broken, you're ditchin' me up the creek. What am I supposed to do here?
Oseary Drakoulias: Well, I must say, nothing's jumping to mind. Phillip, any suggestions? No, he's shaking his head.

View Quote Steve: [to interns] No. I can't give you full credit, but I'm not gonna flunk you either. You're all getting incompletes.
Intern: This is bullshit.

View Quote Eleanor: Oh, shit. What do you want?
Steve: Do you mind if I butter you up a little before I answer that question?
Eleanor: Yes, I do. Tell me now.
Steve: I need some money to get the boat out of hock and rescue my bond company stooge who got kidnapped. Could we ask your parents to loan it to me?
Eleanor: No.
Steve: Okay. Could I go ahead and butter you up anyway? It took me two and a half hours to get out here.

View Quote Steve: You know I'm not big on apologizing. So I'll just skip it if it's all the same to you.
Eleanor: Okay.
Steve: Anyway, I'm sorry.