Most scenes together: Steve Zissou & Oseary Drakoulias (48), Ned Plimpton & Oseary Drakoulias (18), Steve Zissou & Ned Plimpton (16)
Apparently some crooked ****ers broke into my sea lab yesterday.
Crew member: How awful. Did they nick anything?
It doesn't say. They probably just trashed the place. I'm so pissed I wanna spit. Hugo - tell Carl to load my elephant gun with buckshot. We're gonna hunt down these sickos.
How are things going with your - what are you calling it? Leopard fish?
Jaguar shark.
Jaguar shark! So tell me - does it really exist?
You know, Allie, I don't want to give away the ending.
Is this my espresso machine? Wh-what is — h-how did you get my espresso machine?
Well... uh... we ****in' stole it, man.
You're the most ravishing creature that I've ever seen in my life.
Hello Skinny.
Hello Eleanor.
Is that a new merit badge?
Oh, yeah, as a matter of fact it is. I just became a Knight in Portugal, the Presidente gave a special ball...
Don't be nice to Ali, he's my nemesis.
Do you know that you just charted us on a course through unprotected waters?
Yeah, we're taking the shortcut.
But it's outside I.M.U. jurisdiction. There isn't any protection.
I know, honey. Look at the map. We go your way, that's about four inches. We go my way, it's an inch and a half. You wanna pay for the extra gas?
Uh, what is this, Pele?
I don't know. Uh, the map?
Antonia Cook You must be so excited.
I hope so. You think it went OK?
Antonia Cook No. Congratulations... Seriously.
Thanks. I wish it didn't require the "seriously," but thank you.
Merci, Cedric. Remind me, we'll send him a red cap and a Speedo.
Do you have a vault? They want to know if there's a vault.
There's no vault.
Our vault contains at least ten different currencies from all over the world at any given moment, and we are prepared for every kind of financial necessity.
Oh, shit. What do you want?
Do you mind if I butter you up a little before I answer that question?
Yes, I do. Tell me now.
I need some money to get the boat out of hock and rescue my bond company stooge who got kidnapped. Could we ask your parents to loan it to me?
No.
Okay. Could I go ahead and butter you up anyway? It took me two and a half hours to get out here.
Your cat's dead.
What? Which one?
Marmalade. I'm sorry.
What happened?
A rattlesnake bit it in the throat.
Goddamn it, Eleanor, why do you have to say it like that? You couldn't try to break it a little bit nicer?
She's a rich bitch, you know. She was raised by maids. Her parents paid for this island and two of my worst movies. People say she's the brains behind Team Zissou.
People say a lot of things. What kind of cat was it?
Who gives a shit?
I think it was a tabby.
Festival Director That's an endangered species at most. What would be the scientific purpose of killing it?
Revenge.
Are we-are we safe in here?
I doubt it.
How do you feel about part one of your new film?
Why? How do you feel about part one of my new film?
Well, I'm honest, so -
Just say it.
I thought aspects of it seemed slightly fake.
Did it seem fake when my best friend was bitten in half right in front of me then eaten alive, screaming? I think you're a fake. And I think you're a phony, and a bad reporter. How does that feel? Now tell me something. [Steve points his gun at her] Does this seem fake?
I need to find a baby for this father.
Yeah, I think I know what you mean.
