A character in Kelly's Heroes (1970)

Sergeant "Oddball" quotes from Kelly's Heroes (1970)

Donald Sutherland

Tied for 3rd most-quoted character in Kelly's Heroes (1970): in 4 of its 18 quotes
Most scenes with: Big Joe (3), Kelly (3)

A line from Sergeant "Oddball"

We see our role as essentially defensive in nature. While our armies are advancing so fast and everyone's knocking themselves out to be heroes, we are holding ourselves in reserve in case the Krauts mount a counteroffensive which threatens Paris... or maybe even New York. Then we can move in and stop them. But for 1.6 million dollars, we could become heroes for three days.

Scenes with Sergeant "Oddball"

3 scenes

Well, what do you think, Oddball?

Oddball

It's a wasted trip, baby. Nobody said nothing about locking horns with no Tigers.

Hey look, you just keep them Tigers busy and we'll take care of the rest.

Oddball

The only way I got to keep them Tigers busy is to let them shoot holes in me!

We just want you to keep them interested for a while, that's all.

PFC Moriarty

Oh, man! You guys are crazy! When we was in the bocage country, we was assaulted by them Tigers! You know what I mean by "assaulted"? Well, I mean assaulted!

Oddball

Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?

PFC Moriarty

Crap!

All right, so it's a beautiful day. Now, let's get down to cases. The Tiger is an open-country tank. We happen to have these and a small town with narrow streets. And we do have the element of surprise.

Oddball

Look, Kelly, a Tiger has only one weak point. That's its ass. You've got to hit it point blank and you've got to hit it from behind. Now we do not have the element of surprise. They will hear our Detroit motors long before we ever even get inside that town.

What if I can show you a way to get into that town so they don't hear you?

Hey, Oddball, this is your hour of glory. And you're chickening out!

Oddball

To a New Yorker like you, a hero is some type of weird sandwich! Not some nut who takes on three Tigers.

Nobody's asking you to be a hero.

Oddball

No? Then you sit up in that turret, baby.

No, because you're gonna be up there, baby, and I'll be right outside showing you which way to go.

Oddball

Yeah?

Yeah.

Oddball

Crazy... I mean like, so many positive waves... maybe we can't lose, you're on!

Hey, this guy in the Tiger? Least we can do is get on the radio and talk to 'im.

Oddball

Are you crazy? That guy's gotta be a full fanatic freak! Otherwise he would a split outta this town twenty minutes ago!

Hey, look, all he's doing is guarding the bank like he was told.

Maybe. But I wonder if he even knows what's in it.

[Kelly, Big Joe and Oddball approach the last Tiger in the open; a turret hatch opens and the Tiger's commander climbs out to meet them.]

Cigarette?

German Tank Commander

No smoke. The fuel system is rotten. We have gasoline all over the place.

S'all right. Hey, look, Max, you and us we're just soldiers, right? We don't even know what this war's all about. All we do is we fight and we die and for what? We don't get anything out of it. Now, in about half an hour, the whole American Army's gonna be coming down that road. So why don't you do yourself a big fat favor, huh? And get the hell outta here?

German Tank Commander

I have orders. This bank isn't to fall into the hands of the American Army.

Sergeant, this bank's not gonna fall into the hands of the American Army. It's gonna fall into our hands. You see, we're just a private enterprise operation.

German Tank Commander

You- the American Army.

Oddball

No, baby, we ain't. You know what's inside that bank, man? There's 16 million dollars' worth of gold in that bank, sweetheart.

That's about 65 million Marks.

And Sergeant, all you have to do to have an equal share of this money, is to crank this turret around and blow a hole in that door.

Other characters in Kelly's Heroes

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