Lt. Aldo Raine [after carving a swastika into Landa's forehead]
You know somethin', Utivich? I think this just might be my masterpiece.
Tied for most-quoted character in Inglorious Basterds (2009): in 10 of its 18 quotes
Most scenes with: Col. Hans Landa (5)
Well, you don't gotta be Stonewall Jackson to know you don't wanna fight in a basement.
More lines from Lt. Aldo Raine
1 quote Lt. Aldo Raine Scenes with Lt. Aldo Raine
8 scenes Lt. Aldo Raine Ten-hut! My name is Lt. Aldo Raine and I'm puttin' together a special team; and I need me eight soldiers. Eight Jewish-American soldiers. Now, y'all might heard rumors about the armada happening soon. Well, we'll be leaving a little earlier. We're gonna be dropped into France, dressed as civilians. And once we're in enemy territory, as a bushwackin' guerrilla army, we're gonna be doing one thang and one thang only … killin' Nazis. Now, I don't know about y'all, but I sure as hell didn't come down from the goddamn Smoky Mountains, cross five thousand miles of water, fight my way through half of Sicily and jump out of a ****in' aer-o-plane to teach the Nazis lessons in humanity. Nazi ain't got no humanity. They're the foot soldiers of a Jew-hatin', mass murderin' maniac, and they need to be dee-stroyed. That's why any and every sumbitch we find wearin' a Nazi uniform, they're gonna die.Now, I am the direct descendant of the mountain man Jim Bridger, and that means I got a little Injun in me. And our battle plan will be that of an Apache resistance. We will be cruel to the Germans, and through our cruelty they will know who we are. And they will find the evidence of our cruelty in the disemboweled, dismembered and disfigured bodies of their brothers we leave behind us, and the Germans won't be able to help themselves but to imagine the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, and our boot heels, and the edge of our knives. And the Germans will be sickened by us, and the Germans will talk about us, and the Germans will fear us. And when the Germans close their eyes at night and they're tortured by their subconscious for the evil that they've done, it will be with thoughts of us that they are tortured with. Sound good?
Soldiers
Yes, sir!
Lt. Aldo Raine That's what I like to hear. But I got a word of warning for all you would-be warriors: when you join my command, you take on debt, a debt you owe me personally. Each and every man under my command owes me one hundred Nazi scalps. And I want my scalps! And all y'all will get me one hundred Nazi scalps taken from the heads of one hundred dead Nazis, or you will die tryin'!
Lt. Aldo Raine Up the road apiece, there's an orchard. Now, besides you, we know there's another kraut patrol **** around there somewhere. Now if that patrol were to have any crackshots, that orchard would be a god-damn sniper's delight. If you ever want to eat a sauerkraut sandwich again, you gotta show me on this here map where they are, you gotta tell me how many there are, and you gotta tell me what kind of artillery they're carrying with them.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman You can't expect me to divulge information that would put German lives in danger.
Lt. Raine Well, now Werner, that's where you're wrong, because that's exactly what I expect. I need to know about Germans hiding in them trees, and you need to tell me, and you need to tell me right now. Now, just take that finger of yours and point out on this here map where this party's being held, how many's coming, and what they brought to play with.
Sgt. Rachtman I respectfully refuse, sir.
Lt. Raine [rapping sound]
Hear that?
Sgt. Rachtman Yes.
Lt. Raine That's Sgt. Donny Donowitz. You might know him better by his nickname: the Bear Jew. Now, if you heard of Aldo the Apache, you gotta have heard of the Bear Jew.
Sgt. Rachtman I've heard of the Bear Jew.
Lt. Raine What did you hear?
Sgt. Rachtman He beats German soldiers with a club.
Lt. Raine He bashes their brains in with a baseball bat, what he does. Now, Werner, I'm gonna ask you one last god-damn time. If you still respectfully refuse, I'm calling the Bear Jew over. He's gonna take that big bat of his, and he's gonna beat your ass to death with it. Now, take your wiener schnitzel lickin' finger and point out on this map what I want to know.
Sgt. Rachtman **** you, and your Jew dogs! [The Basterds all laugh.]
Lt. Raine Actually, Werner, we're all tickled to here you say that. Quite frankly, watching Donny beat Nazis to death is the closest we ever get to going to the movies. Donny!
Sgt. Donny Donowitz [from offscreen]
Yeah?
Lt. Raine We got a German here who wants to die for his country! Oblige him!
Lt. Aldo Raine [Aldo is faking Italian with a Southern US accent]
Buongiorno.
[in flawless Italian]
Gentlemen, it's a pleasure; the friends of our cherished star, admired by all of us – this outright jewel of our culture – are naturally going to be under my personal protection for the duration of their stay.
Raine Grazie.
Raine Sì – er, corretto.
As of this moment, both Omar and Donowitz should be sitting in the very seats we left them in – 0023 and 0024, if my memory serves – explosives still around their ankle, still ready to explode, and your mission, some would call it terrorist plot, as of this moment is still a go.
Lt. Aldo Raine That's a pretty exciting story. What's next, Eliza on Ice?
However, all I have to do is pick up this phone right there, inform the cinema, and your plan's kaput.
Raine If they're still there, and if they're still alive – and that's one big if – there ain't no way you gonna take them boys without setting off them bombs.
I have no doubt. Yes, some Germans will die, and yes, it will ruin the evening, and yes, Goebbels will be very, very, very mad at you for what you've done to his big night. But you won't get Hitler, you won't get Goebbels, you won't get Göring, and you won't get Bormann. And you need all four to end the war. But if I don't pick up this phone right here, you may very well get all four. And if you get all four, you end the war … tonight. [lifts up the Chianti and fills their glasses] So, gentlemen, let's discuss the prospect of ending the war tonight.
Colonel Hans Landa
Gentlemen, I have no intention of killing Hitler and killing Goebbels and killing Göring and killing Bormann, not to mention winning the war single-handedly for the Allies, only later to find myself standing before a Jewish tribunal. If you want to win the war tonight, we have to make a deal.
Lieutenant Aldo Raine
What kind o' deal?
The kind you wouldn't have the authority to make. However, I'm sure this mission of yours has a commanding officer — a general, I'm betting — for OSS would be my guess. [Raine is speechless] Oooh, that's a bingo! Is that the way you say it, "That's a bingo"?
Raine You just say "bingo."
Bingo! How fun.
Lt. Aldo Raine You know, where I'm from—
Yeah, where is that, exactly?
Raine Maynardville, Tennessee — I done my share of bootleggin'. Up there, if you engage in what the federal government calls illegal activity, but what we call a man just trying to earn a living for his family selling moonshine liquor, it behooves oneself to keep his wits. Long story short: we hear a story too good to be true – it ain't.
Sitting in your chair, I would probably say the same thing. And 999.999 times out of a million you would be correct. But in the pages of history, every once in a while, fate reaches out and extends its hand. What shall the history books read?
I'm officially surrendering myself over to you, Lieutenant Raine. We're your prisoners.
Lt. Aldo Raine How 'bout my knife? [Landa gives Raine his Bowie knife] Thank you very much, Colonel. Utivich, cuff the Colonel's hands behind his back.
Oh, is that really necessary?
Raine I'm a slave to appearances. [shoots Hermann with Landa's Walther] [to Utivich] Scalp Hermann.
Are you mad? What have you done? I made a deal with your generals for that man's life!
Raine Yeah, they made that deal. but they don't give a **** about him. They need you.
You'll be shot for this!
Raine Nah, I don't think so. More like chewed out. I've been chewed out before.
Lt. Aldo Raine You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'. Up the road apiece, there's an orchard. Now, besides you, we know there's another kraut patrol **** around there somewhere. Now if that patrol were to have any crackshots, that orchard would be a god-damn sniper's delight. If you ever want to eat a sauerkraut sandwich again, you gotta show me on this here map where they are, you gotta tell me how many there are, and you gotta tell me what kind of artillery they're carrying with them.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman You can't expect me to divulge information that would put German lives in danger.
Raine Well, now Werner, that's where you're wrong, because that's exactly what I expect. I need to know about Germans hiding in them trees, and you need to tell me, and you need to tell me right now. Now, just take that finger of yours and point out on this here map where this party's being held, how many's coming, and what they brought to play with.
Rachtman [Placing his hand on his chest]
I respectfully refuse, sir.
Raine [Rapping sound]
Hear that?
Rachtman Yes.
Raine That's Sgt. Donny Donowitz. You might know him better by his nickname: the Bear Jew. Now, if you heard of Aldo the Apache, you gotta have heard of the Bear Jew.
Rachtman I've heard of the Bear Jew.
Raine What did you hear?
Rachtman He beats German soldiers with a club.
Raine He bashes their brains in with a baseball bat, what he does. Now, Werner, I'm gonna ask you one last god-damn time. If you still respectfully refuse, I'm calling the Bear Jew over. He's gonna take that big bat of his, and he's gonna beat your ass to death with it. Now, take your wiener schnitzel lickin' finger and point out on this map what I want to know.
Rachtman [Softly]
**** you... [screams] and your Jew dogs! [The Basterds all laugh.]
Raine Actually, Werner, we're all tickled to hear you say that. Quite frankly, watching Donny beat Nazis to death is the closest we ever get to going to the movies. Donny!
Sgt. Donny Donowitz [From within a cave]
Yeah?
Raine We got a German here who wants to die for his country! Oblige him!
Donowitz [Appears from cave and taps medal on Rachtman's chest]
Did you get that for killing Jews?
Rachtman Bravery. [Donny makes a few practice swings on Rachtman's head and then proceeds to bludgeon Rachtman]
Basterds Squad
Yeah! Oh, no! Donny! Yeah, Donny!
Raine [To Wehrmacht captive Butz]
About now I'd be shitting my pants if I was you. [Basterds laugh]
Donowitz Teddy **** Williams knocks it out of the park! Fenway Park is on its feet for Teddy **** Ballgame! He went yard on that one, on to **** Lansdowne Street! [to another prisoner] You! [Prisoner begins running and Hirschberg shoots him]
Raine Damn it, Hirschberg! Donny, bring that other one over here... ALIVE.
Donowitz [To Butz]
Get the **** up! Batter up. You're on deck! Two hits. I hit you, you hit the ground.
Raine English?
Corporal Butz Nein
Raine Wicki! Ask him if he wants to live. [Wicki translates] Tell him to point out on this map the German position. [Butz quickly points; the Basterds laugh]
Raine Ask him how many Germans. [Butz replies]
Wilhelm Wicki Around about 12.
Raine What kind of artillery? [Butz replies] Now, when you report what happened here, you can't tell them you told us what you told us. They'll shoot you. They're going to want to know why you're so special we let you live. So tell them we let you live so you could spread the word through the ranks what's going to happen to every Nazi we find. If you survive the war, when you get home, whatcha gonna do? [Butz replies]
Wicki He's gonna hug his mother.
Raine Well, ain't that nice. Ask him if he's gonna take off his uniform. [Butz replies]
Wicki He's gonna burn it.
Raine Yeah, that's what we thought. We don't like that. See, we like our Nazis in uniforms. That way you can spot 'em [Snaps fingers] just like that. If you take off that uniform, ain't nobody gonna know you was a Nazi. That don't sit well with us. [Draws his Bowie knife] So I'm gonna give you something you can't take off.
