Tyler Durden Three minutes. This is it, ground zero. Would you like to say anything to mark the occasion?
Played by Brad Pitt 
Fight Club (1999) · 121 quotes
Fight Club (1999) · 121 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Fight Club (1999): in 47 of its 121 quotes
Most scenes with: Narrator (11)
Hi. You're going to call off your rigorous investigation. You're going to publicly state that there is no underground group. Or these guys are going to take your balls. We're going to send one to the New York Times, one to the L.A. Times press-release-style. Look, the people you are after are the people you depend on. We cook your meals, we haul your trash, we connect your calls, we drive your ambulances, we guard you while you sleep. Do not **** with us.
More lines from Tyler Durden
35 quotes Tyler Durden Tyler Durden I want you to hit me as hard as you can.
Tyler Durden Man, you've got some **** up friends! Limber, though.
Tyler Durden We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need.
Tyler Durden How much can you possibly know about yourself if you've never been in a fight?
Tyler Durden Now, a question of etiquette: as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch?
Tyler Durden Now, why do guys like you and me know what a duvet is? Is it essential to our survival in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word? No. What are we, then?
Tyler Durden **** Martha Stewart! Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic; it's all going down, man. So **** off with your sofa units and your Strinne green stripe patterns. I say, never be complete. I say, stop being perfect. I say, let's evolve, and let the chips fall where they may.
Tyler Durden The things you own, they end up owning you.
Tyler Durden Reject the basic assumption of civilization, especially the importance of material possessions!
Tyler Durden You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your **** khakis. We are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
Tyler Durden Self-improvement is masturbation. Now, self-destruction ...
Tyler Durden [The Narrator's tooth falls out]
Even the Mona Lisa's falling apart.
Tyler Durden Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.
Tyler Durden Our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers failed, what does that tell you about God?
Tyler Durden You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen. We don't need Him. **** damnation, man, **** redemption! If we are God's unwanted children, so be it!
Tyler Durden First you have to give up, first you have to know – not fear – know that someday you're gonna die.
Tyler Durden It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.
Tyler Durden Man, I see in Fight Club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see it squandered. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables – slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our great war's a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars, but we won't. We're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.
Tyler Durden In the world I see ... you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway.
Tyler Durden You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else.
Tyler Durden The first soap was made from the ashes of heroes, like the first monkey shot into space. Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing.
Tyler Durden Stop trying to control everything and just let go.
Tyler Durden The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. Third rule of Fight Club: someone yells "stop", goes limp, taps out, the fight is over. Fourth rule: only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule: one fight at a time, fellas. Sixth rule: no shirts, no shoes. Seventh rule: fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight.
Tyler Durden I look like you want to look, I **** like you want to ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in every way that you are not.
Tyler Durden Oh, heavens, no. Not the green one, anything but the green one. [After the green wire is cut] I asked you not to do that!
Tyler Durden Ok. You are now firing a gun at your imaginary friend near 400 gallons of nitroglycerin!
Tyler Durden [Last words]
What's that smell?
Tyler Durden Ah. Flashback humor.
Tyler Durden Just ask, man.
Tyler Durden Is it a problem for you to ask?
Tyler Durden [From theatrical PSA]
Did you know that urine is sterile? You can drink it.
Tyler Durden First you've gotta know - not fear, know - that someday you're gonna die.
Tyler Durden I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I'm free in all the ways that you are not.
Tyler Durden You wanna make an omelet, you gotta break some eggs.
Scenes with Tyler Durden
11 scenes
Well, what do you want me to do? You just want me to hit you?
Tyler Durden C'mon, do me this one favor.
Why?
Tyler Durden Why? I don't know why; I don't know. Never been in a fight. You?
No, but that's a good thing.
Tyler Durden No, it is not. How much can you know about yourself if you've never been in a fight? I don't wanna die without any scars. So come on – hit me, before I lose my nerve.
This is crazy.
Tyler Durden So go crazy. Let 'er rip.
I don't know about this.
Tyler Durden I don't either. Who gives a shit? No one's watching. What do you care?
Whoa, wait, this is crazy. You want me to hit you?
Tyler Durden That's right.
What, like in the face?
Tyler Durden Surprise me.
This is so **** stupid ...
Tyler Durden [He swings and connects with Tyler's head]
Mother****er! You hit me in the ear!
Well, Jesus, I'm sorry.
Tyler Durden Ow, Christ ... why the ear, man?
Guess I **** it up ...
Tyler Durden No, that was perfect!
[He punches the Narrator in the stomach]
Tyler Durden Hey, even the Mona Lisa's falling apart.
I am Jack's colon ...
Tyler Durden I get cancer, I kill Jack.
Tyler Durden OK, any historic figure.
I'd fight Gandhi.
Tyler Durden Good answer.
How about you?
Tyler Durden Lincoln.
Lincoln?
Tyler Durden Big guy, big reach. Skinny guys fight 'til they're burger.
Tyler Durden Did you know that if you mix equal parts of gasoline and frozen orange juice concentrate, you can make napalm?
No, I did not know that. Is that true?
Tyler Durden That's right. One could make all kinds of explosives, using simple household items.
Really ...?
Tyler Durden If one were so inclined.
Tyler, you are by far the most interesting single-serving friend I've ever met. ... See, I have this thing: everything on a plane is single-serving ...
Tyler Durden Oh, I get it. It's very clever.
Thank you.
Tyler Durden How's that working out for you?
What?
Tyler Durden Being clever.
... Great.
Tyler Durden Keep it up, then. Right up. [gets up from seat] Now, a question of etiquette: as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch?
He was the guerilla terrorist in the food service industry.
Tyler Durden [The Narrator looks at Tyler, who's urinating in a pot]
Do not watch. I cannot go when you watch.
Apart from seasoning the lobster bisque, he farted on the meringue, sneezed on braised endive, and as for the cream of mushroom soup, well ...
Tyler Durden (snickers): Go ahead. Tell 'em.
You get the idea.
Tyler Durden We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra.
Martha Stewart.
Tyler Durden **** Martha Stewart! Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic; it's all going down, man. So **** off with your sofa units and your Strinne green stripe patterns. I say, never be complete. I say, stop being perfect. I say, let's evolve, and let the chips fall where they may.
Tyler was a night person. While the rest of us were sleeping, he worked. He had one part time job as a projectionist. See, a movie doesn't come all on one big reel. It comes on a few. So someone has to be there to switch the projectors at the exact moment that one reel ends and the next one begins. If you look for it, you can see these little dots come into the upper right-hand corner of the screen.
Tyler Durden In the industry, we call them cigarette burns.
That's the cue for a changeover. He flips the projectors, the movie keeps right on going, and nobody in the audience has any idea.
Tyler Durden And why would anyone want this shit job?
Because it affords him other interesting opportunities.
Tyler Durden Like splicing single frames of pornography into family films.
So when the snooty cat and the courageous dog with the celebrity voices meet for the first time in reel three, that's when you'll catch a flash of Tyler's contribution to the film.
[The audience is watching the film, the pornography flashes for a split second]
Nobody knows that they saw it, but they did.
Tyler Durden A nice, big **** ...
[Several audience members look rattled, a little girl is crying]
Even a hummingbird couldn't catch Tyler at work.
When you buy furniture, you tell yourself, that’s it. That’s the last sofa I’ll need. Whatever else happens, got that sofa problem handled. I had it all. I had a stereo that was very decent. A wardrobe that was getting very respectable. I was close to being complete.
Tyler Shit man, now it’s all gone.
All… gone.
Tyler All gone. Do you know what a duvet is?
A comforter.
Tyler It’s a blanket. Just a blanket. Why do guys like you and I know what a duvet is? Is this essential to our survival in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word? No. What are we, then?
I don’t know. Consumers.
Tyler Durden Right. We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra.
Martha Stewart.
Tyler Durden **** Martha Stewart. Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic. It's all going down, man. So **** off with your sofa units and strine green stripe patterns, I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let... lets evolve, let the chips fall where they may. But that's me, and I could be wrong. Maybe it’s a terrible tragedy.
Tyler Durden You decide your level of involvement!
I will! I want to know certain things first.
Everyone
The first rule of Project-- (Narrator: SHUT. UP.)
Tyler Durden [the Narrator is trying to disarm a car bomb of nitroglycerin]
You don't know which wire to pull.
I know everything you do, so if you know I know.
Tyler Durden Or maybe, since I knew you'd know I spent all day thinking about the wrong wires.
